On this day of your life

I believe God wants you to know ...

 ... that nothing is ever solved, or created, by standing still.

Movement is the process of the Universe. So move.
Do something. Anything. But do not stand still.
Do not remain"on the horns of a dilemma." 
Do not fence sit.

 Put your foot down on one side or the other,
swing the opposite leg over and start walking.
You'll know before you take ten steps if
you're going in the right direction.

 Not to decide is to decide. 

 

Try to not make choices by default.

Seeing Ourselves (OM)

by Madisyn Taylor Many of us do not take the time to notice and acknowledge how beautiful we are as humans. Many of us do not take the time to notice and acknowledge how beautiful we are as humans. We may be great lovers of beauty, seeing it in the people, places, and things around us, while completely missing it in ourselves. Some of us feel that it is vain to consider our appearance too much, or we may find that when we look at ourselves, all we see are imperfections. Often we come to the mirror with expectations and preconceived notions about beauty that blind us from seeing ourselves clearly. As a result, we miss the beauty that is closest to us, the beauty we are. Sometimes we see our beauty in a shallow way, noticing how well we are conforming to social norms, but failing to see the deeper beauty that shines out from within and that will continue to shine regardless of how we measure up to society's ideal. If we can cut through all these obstacles and simply appreciate how beautiful we are, we free up so much energy. We also become less dependent upon the opinions and feedback of others since we become our own greatest admirers. Many of us know that after a great yoga practice or a long, deep meditation, we are more able to see how beautiful we are. This is because we have released some of our baggage, thus unburdening ourselves and summoning forth the spirit that dwells within us. It is the heady combination of the divine spirit and the human body that conveys beauty more accurately than anything else. To keep ourselves in touch with our own beauty, we can surround ourselves with images that reflect our beauty back to us--photos of a relative or child who has our eyes, images of teachers who embody spirit, or self-portraits that capture our essence in a way that allows us to see ourselves anew. The best way to keep ourselves in touch with our own beauty is to keep looking deeply into our own souls and opening our eyes to the human being we see in the mirror every day.

Nelson Mandela and the Qualities of an Inspirational Person (WD)

Dear Jake,

When we meet others who we think might be living in-Spirit, we must ask the following questions: Do they seem to have a rapturous heart, sending out signals that they love the world and everyone in it? Are they jubilant about the work they do? Do they see the world as a friendly place? Are they at peace with themselves? Do they appear to be kind rather than judgmental? Are they confident without being boorish? Do they tend to be cheerful? Do they love to play? Are they elated to be in the company of young children as well as older people? Do they listen rather than lecture? Are they willing to be students as well as teachers? Do they love nature? Are they in awe of the world? Do they express rational humility? Are they approachable? Do they take great pleasure in serving others? Do they seem to have tamed their ego? Do they accept all people as equals? Are they open to new ideas? The answers to these questions will help us ascertain whether another person is potentially an inspiring influence in our life. Those who have the gift of inspiration exude something that’s difficult to pin down intellectually, yet is undeniably recognizable in how we feel in their presence: We can sense that they’re aligned with the Source Energy from which we all originate. We perceive a place within them that resonates deeply within ourselves—a vibrational recognition of inspiration—and they have much to offer us. We recognize their high spiritual energy, which longs to be active in our life. When we feel this resonance, it’s reflected in a feeling that’s similar to a warm, soothing shower that’s running deep within us. Nelson Mandela In 1999 I was invited to South Africa to lecture to some public audiences. While in Cape Town, I took the ferry over to Robben Island to visit the prison where Nelson Mandela had been incarcerated for so many years. (I actually visited at the time of the tenth-anniversary celebration of his release.) Here was a man who spent more than 27 years of his life imprisoned—he wasn’t even allowed visitors because he was a vocal opponent of a system of apartheid, in which an entire race of people were declared by law to be inferior and unworthy of the same privileges as the remaining citizens of the country. And he worked all day in a limestone quarry, where the burning sunlight glared so against the white rock that his eyes became mere slits due to the squinting that he was forced to practice in order to survive. I spent 30 minutes in that quarry and my eyes stung all day—imagine what years of such exposure would wreak. Mandela went deep within himself, and when he was finally released, he came out with forgiveness and reconciliation in his heart. His staying in-Spirit was the force behind the dismantling of apartheid and his ultimate election to the presidency of an emerging democracy of South Africa a few years later. As I meditated in the prison outside of this great man’s cell, I felt the warm inner shower I described earlier in this chapter. Then I was handed an autographed copy of his book Long Walk to Freedom, which I treasure. Nelson Mandela conveyed the spiritual energy of love, peace, kindness, and tolerance during all of his travails, and this spiritual energy provided a blueprint that changed the face of Africa—and the world—forever. Yes, he inspired me!

How we F*ck up the Buddha’s teachings on the 4 Noble Truths.

Via Elyane Youssef 

How often do we wish that someone could explain what this mysterious life is all about?

Perhaps if someone gave us a handbook, we could deal with life better. Thankfully, someone did give us this handbook thousands of years ago—but it obviously wasn’t what we expected.

I consider the Four Noble Truths from Buddhism the handbook of life.

There are countless explanations and debates about “what life is”—however, the Buddha eloquently delineated our existence using only four points: the acknowledgment of dukkha (suffering), its origin, its cessation, and the means to cessation.

Voilà! Buddha was the person who saw our Rubik’s Cube for what it is and came out with the solution. Unfortunately, most us were not satisfied with the truth he recognized and explained. We prefer to keep playing with our unsolved Rubik’s Cube, doing things our own way—trusting that we will find a more satisfying outcome.

Buddha was simply a human being who walked on earth—just like us. The only difference between us and Gautama Buddha is the way we look at the world. When Buddha witnessed the misery around him—old age, sickness, death—a wave of compassion and empathy hit him hard. He couldn’t go about his day normally, like we often do when we witness misery.

We lose so much on a daily basis; yes, we grieve for a while, but we slowly drift back into creating permanence and seeking happiness from transient things. The Buddha didn’t do this.

Although he was the son of a king and had everything he could wish for at his disposal, the reality of the world struck him. When he witnessed misery, he felt compelled to do something to alleviate the torment that appeared to be our destiny.

Gautama Buddha longed for an inner transformation, rather than an outward one. He didn’t go about trying to stop death or disease from happening. He didn’t beg people not to leave each other or try to create safety around possessions. The Buddha knew that the real misery was inside us—so he worked on the solution from the inside out. This is why he sat under a tree and meditated until he found the truth.

This is when the Four Noble Truths were born. But what is our reaction to those truths? And, what are they really about?

1. The acknowledgment of dukkha.

Dukkha means suffering. Now, the words “suffering” or “misery” may sound rough or pessimistic—but what Buddha meant by suffering is more like disappointment. These are the the things that cause us dejection and dissatisfaction, such as death, disease, separation, loss, and so forth. “Dukkha” manifests in many forms in our daily lives. It could be as simple as losing an object we dearly love, thus feeling discontented—or breaking up with our partner and feeling miserable.

Dukkha is also not always dependent on an external condition. Having a mind and body that both produce endless reactions, thoughts, and emotions, our misery could manifest as simply waking up in a bad mood for no reason. The Buddha was quite realistic about this. He acknowledged this truth and accepted it.

Our own perception:

Although we experience dissatisfaction on a personal level and see it all around us, we tend to reject it. Our minds constantly rebel against the fact that life is not ideal. We want pleasure to last and death to vanish—we want to stay forever young, never fall ill, and keep our loved ones with us always. We don’t accept dukkha and constantly seek perfection—within ourselves and externally.

2. The origin of dukkha.

When the Buddha acknowledged the existence of suffering, he dug deeper and found out that its origin lies in our own minds. Undoubtedly, suffering exists. Unsatisfying situations occur; he didn’t deny this. But, he perceived our minds as the fuel that keeps adding to the fire.

Our miseries are like a fire that will eventually die on its own—but through our minds and our thoughts, we keep re-fueling it. The Buddha recognized that the mind is where desire, hatred, greed, ignorance, attachment, and longing for permanence reside.

Our own perception:

We refuse to believe that “it’s all in our heads.” It is our automatic nature to blame our unhappiness on external factors (including people, events, or life itself). We shouldn’t deny that unsatisfactory conditions take place—but, unlike the Buddha, we don’t recognize our role in their perpetuation.

Instead of looking within, we look outwardly and yearn to amend our external circumstances. When we fail at this—and we certainly will—our misery adds up, and we keep looking for everlasting happiness outside of ourselves.

3. The cessation of dukkha.

Now that the Buddha had located the origin of misery, he was certain about how to terminate it. He needed no more clues—no more need to look further than this. He understood that we cannot change our external events all the time. Therefore, we’d need to work on how our minds respond to those events.

The Buddha gave us the solution, which requires looking closely at the false sense of self that we create for ourselves and everyone else. Through realizing that we don’t exist in the sense we think we do—and seeing that everything eventually passes away—we can work on not grasping at things (or people) and craving less.

Our own perception:

Instead of realizing that attachment and craving are the main cause of our unhappiness, we automatically want to attach more. When we feel we’re on the verge of losing something or someone, we hold on even more tightly.

This is our self-made cure for dukkha: trying to keep what’s about to pass away. We basically work the opposite way of the Buddha—we start from the outside first, and only when we know that we can’t alter it, do we attempt to look within.

4. The path leading to the cessation of dukkha. 

It is known as the Eightfold Path. This is when Buddha handed us a list of “guidelines” to vanquish misery once and for all: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration.

According to the Buddha, through wisdom (pannā), morality (silā), and concentration (samādhi), we will all be liberated from the chains of our minds.

Our own perception:

We allow outward events to dictate our actions and reactions. Although we have been blessed with wisdom, it is challenging for us to put it into action when we are filled with anger, hopelessness, and confusion. We’re like a thirsty man sitting on top of a well and asking for water. We don’t know that water is at our disposal…if only we’d open our eyes.

~

Relephant:

Buddhism & Relationships: the Four Noble Truths of Love.

The Four Noble Truths. Isn’t suffering important for growth? 

~

Author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Pixabay

5 Mental Habits to Start Now if you want to Live to be 100.

Via Ilchi Lee

When someone reaches his or her 100th birthday, people usually ask, “What is your secret? How did you do it?”

We are hoping to hear that they ate a certain healthy food every day or that they did some special exercise to guarantee longevity, so that we can emulate their behavior. But usually their habits are quite ordinary, and there’s no one thing that all centenarians do.

Of course, we know that a good diet and plenty of exercise will increase our chances, so that’s a good place to start. But there might be another part of ourselves that is even more important: the mind. Perhaps the best way to live like a person destined to live a long life is to think like a person who will live a long life.

I plan to live to be 120 years old, and even wrote a book about it. I know I must have a mindset to match, and I’ve lived long enough to know that the most vivacious older people have wonderful minds, as well as healthy bodies.

Here’s what I have found are the five best mental habits of the happiest, longest-lived people:

We Should Celebrate All Phases of Life.

If we bemoan getting older every time a birthday passes, how can we expect to live well? As we get older, we gain maturity and experience that is invaluable, so there is good reason to celebrate who we are now, no matter how old we are. Basic self-respect will free us to accentuate and develop our natural wisdom through self-cultivation and personal growth. This can never happen, though, if we believe that all our best days are behind us. By the same token, it is important to connect with younger people, too. From them, all of us can gain new perspectives on life as they can benefit from the wisdom we have gained.

We Should Set a Challenging Goal.

We should never give in to the idea that life has passed us by. To thrive, we must have confidence in ourselves and know that we can still make our dreams come true. When we connect to a worthy goal, we will always have a reason to get up in the morning. In choosing that goal, we must make sure that it is something challenging, something that will engage our minds and demand that we grow beyond our limitations. Then, we should take it step-by-step, dividing the big goal into many little ones that can be accomplished more easily.

We Must Stay Curious.

We must always seek out opportunities for learning, chances to acquire new knowledge or new skills. We must challenge our brains to step outside of the box—learn a new language, take up an art class, explore new cuisines, join a club, brush our teeth with our other hand. If we have the chance to travel, we should choose places with diverse cultures and opportunities for unique experiences. This will keep our brains sharp and our lives filled with excitement.

We Should Consider All Perspectives.

Vibrant older people do not allow themselves to get stuck in mental ruts. Thus, we should read and watch material that challenges our own opinions and preconceptions. With so much media available today, it is easy to focus on that which agrees with our own views, but it is better to challenge ourselves with new perspectives. We can still keep any opinion we like, but we will understand the world better if we look at it from many viewpoints. For the same reason, we should seek out people who have lived differently than we have, people from diverse cultural and religious backgrounds. As we widen our own perspective in this way, we will be able to find creative solutions to old problems.

We Need to Be Optimistic.

Many studies have shown that mental positivity is very important for our physical health. We can start by always looking for the best in ourselves and others, rather than criticizing and judging. We can also work to face hardships with a positive mind by trying to seeing the silver lining in the gray clouds, and by understanding that the hardest lessons offer the biggest growth. The greatest joys in this world cannot be appreciated without sadness, so we must embrace the give-and-take of life as part of its natural rhythms.

Good mental habits begin with watching ourselves and our thought processes, and then guiding our own thoughts toward healthier perspectives. After all, it is only through our minds that we make ourselves and others happy, and a long life lived unhappily is not worth pursuing at all.

~

~

Author: Ilchi Lee
Image: Public Domains Pictures

The Quote

Ambition

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want in life is this: decide what you want." Ben Stein

For many years I thought that ambition was a negative emotion, something to avoid. I had confused ambition with arrogance.Today we understand that an arrogant person is somebody who would climb the ladder to success by standing on and crushing the lives of others. Today I understand that ambition is a powerful spiritual attribute that enables achievement. Mother Teresa trusted in God, but she also had ambition. Mahatma Gandhi loved India but also had ambition. Ambition is a necessary step in our dance in God. I want people to respect the religion and culture of other people. I want people to respect the difference that is essential to God's creation. I'm ambitious to get this message across.

My Say Yes to Your Spirit involves ambition.

On this day of your life

I believe God wants you to know ...

 ... that "Why is this happening?" is the most useless

question in the Universe.

The only really profitable question is, "What?" As in,

"What do I choose now?" This question empowers.

The "why" question simply perplexes, and rarely

satisfies even when it gets a good answer.

So don't try to "figure it out." Stop it. Just focus on

what you now wish to create. Keep moving forward.

There's nothing behind you that can possibly serve

you better than your highest thoughts about tomorrow.

You will not have to think but a second to know

exactly why you received this message today.

Bear Medicine (OM)

by Madisyn Taylor We can incorporate bear energy into our lives by remembering to take time to go inward, to rest and rejuvenate in daily mini hibernations. When the image of a bear enters our consciousness, we may first notice their size, strength, and power, but beyond their physical attributes lay many traits that can guide us deeper into our experience of life. Their abilities as hunters and powerful protectors of their loved ones are well known, but you may also envision them on a quest for variety as they seek out the flavors and scents of the world, first fishing, then enjoying berries, or braving angry bees to indulge in honey. But their hidden strength lies in the bear's ability to travel between the physical and spiritual worlds, a talent that is recognized all around the world by those who live in harmony with nature. One way that bears access their inner world is during hibernation when they find a safe and womblike environment to let their physical bodies rest while their spirit travels. They travel through time, mentally digesting and learning from their experiences, but they also travel beyond the realm of mind and body into the dreamtime, where they are able to be rejuvenated by the source of all life. In this sacred space, they are connected to physical, mental, and spiritual realms all at once and can find the balance that they need to reenter the world. Polar bears don't enter a deep state of hibernation like other bears, but instead fluidly cross between realms on the physical plane as well the spiritual. Their reflective, translucent fur makes them difficult to see as they move across the frozen ice, blending into terrain covered with snow, making them seem like they are shimmering between dimensions. They move as easily in water as on land, agile and able in both worlds. They can remind us that we are one with our environment, inseparable from it. They teach us that while we can take time apart to connect with spirit, we can also carry that awareness with us as we move through life, making the spiritual indistinguishable from the material. By aligning ourselves with bear energy, we fully embody the best of all worlds.

Here’s the difference between Emotional Baggage & Emotional Scars.

Via Terri Gama

Traveling through life, we get many choices, including what to do with the stuff that happens along the way.

And by stuff, I mean the things that hurt. This is our “emotional baggage.”

Most people know the term. It’s commonly used to describe the tough stuff we go through in life, the wounding: hurt, shame, grief, pain, suffering, guilt, regret, and all the rest.

Emotional scars result from the healing of emotional wounds, which are universal—we all have them. The more healing we do, the healthier our scars become.

All my life, I have been told that I am strong. It is usually stated as a compliment. “I couldn’t possibly have survived all the stuff you’ve been through, all the pain and hardship. You are so strong!”

I used to seethe with anger toward the people making those comments. I wanted to ask, “You think I volunteered for that?”

I felt as though people were telling me I was dealt those cards because I could handle it.

When I was 27 years old, three months into a high-risk pregnancy, and newly relocated to a town with no friends or family, my dad died. He didn’t give us any warning. He just died in the front yard while washing his car.

That day, I spoke with my Aunt Ginnie on the phone. She was my dad’s only sister in a family with seven boys. She was the matriarch of our family. She was a force. She told me that everything was going to be okay—that my mother and my four siblings and I would be just fine, because I was strong, and I would hold the family together.

I remember holding that 1,000-pound phone to my ear and wondering how I could possibly measure up to her standards. How could I be strong?

As my life progressed, I had many more painful experiences, and I came to believe that life had been rough on me, unfair. I used it as an excuse not to grow, not to move beyond the pain. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was stuck.

Several years later, when my 22-year-old son was hit by a car traveling 50 miles per hour and was barely clinging to life in the neuro-trauma intensive care unit, we were hit by a multitude of freight trains.

The first five days were spent at the hospital: not knowing if he would live, watching his intracranial pressure rise and rise, watching my daughter’s heart break, giving permission for a surgery that had as much chance of killing him as it did of saving his life, and on and on.

A few days into this crisis, a family came to us whose daughter had sustained a severe traumatic brain injury two years prior. They sat with us in the intensive care waiting room, they held us, they cried with us, and they shared their story of hope.

There was so much love and beauty in that tragic place—we were not strong, we were carried during a time we could not stand on our own. It was because of their experience and their willingness to process their pain and grief that they were able to hold us, and as a result, continue in their healing.

As I see it, we have choices in life, no matter the circumstance. At times, our choices are limited. I couldn’t choose to bring my dad back to life or prevent my son’s accident. I could, however, choose how I would handle the situation.

When my dad died, I sucked it up, carried along the wound, and burdened others with the weight of it—the weight of losing my dad, the weight of an incomplete relationship.

We had never said I love you to one another. I think we were working our way toward it. I grieved something I’d only wished for. I was strong on the outside and sick on the inside. When the car hit my son, I could suck it up in front of him. Even though he was deep in a barbiturate-induced coma, I believed that he could feel our presence; he could sense our energy. I would not let him know how afraid I was.

Outside of the intensive care unit, I lacked the emotional storage capacity to stuff it down—there was too much. I didn’t have strength; I needed others to feed me and care for me, to hold me up so I could stand for my son. I ended up stronger and healthier after my son’s accident than after my dad’s death because I was so weak, I was forced to draw on others’ strength.

In my opinion, emotional baggage consists of the painful experiences we have not processed. Instead, we suck that pain up and cram all that stuff away—but it doesn’t go away. We can put it in a closet, hide it from ourselves and the world, and trudge through life. Like a cancer, we allow it to eat us alive from the inside out. And instead of healing it, we ask others to carry it for us.

For example, let’s say that in a new relationship, the baggage owner tells the love interest that they were cheated on in the past, so they have “trust issues.” It’s really saying, “Hey I’ve got some stuff from my past that I haven’t processed, so I’m going to ask you to take responsibility for it.” Emotional hoarders are usually generous people who are happy to share; as a matter of fact, they will let you carry all of their baggage if you’re willing. I know all about this—I was one.

Emotional scarring is something completely different.

If you are over the age of 20, you probably have a few scars by now. I like the scar on the side of my knee, because I got it when I was 12 while learning to ride a unicycle. The seat had exposed metal, and it cut my leg in one of a hundred falls I took that first day of practice. I didn’t notice it until the blood tickled my ankle, and when I scratched it, it felt wet and sticky. That’s when I looked down and saw the blood and the open wound. I told my mom it was a little cut, and I just needed a bandage. I didn’t want her to see it, because going to get it stitched would have taken precious time away from my practice.

My dad said he’d buy me my own unicycle when I could ride my brother’s to the end of the driveway, and I wanted my own more than anything. The scar reminds me of that day and my work, sweat, and determination. It reminds me of the joy I felt going to the bike shop with my dad to get my own unicycle. I still have it. I can still ride it.

Emotional scarring is like physical scarring in that we are left with a reminder of an event. When I look at a scar on my body, I remember what happened and what I learned from it. The same is true with emotional scarring: we carry a memory, a scar on our heart from what hurt us. It is there to remind us and teach us. When we meet someone else who is in the midst of a similar event, we are able to walk beside that person, hold their hand, and possibly guide them—because we have walked that path, we know that hurt, and we carry that scar.

I no longer pity myself.

I don’t think the world has singled me out to pick on.

If I were to measure all the pain I have experienced against the joy, there would be no contest. The joy faroutweighs the pain. Yes, the tough stuff has come in large doses, but those experiences are few and far between in comparison to the daily joy. It’s all around me: in a hummingbird’s beauty, tiny new buds appearing on the branches of the dogwood tree just beyond my balcony, bringing the hope of new life after winter’s dormancy, and especially in my two-year-old grandson’s laughter.

I know now that suffering is part of the human experience. No one gets through life unscathed. We all get beat up from time to time.

But we also get a say in how to move forward and how to move beyond the pain. We get a say in how we want to see and do life. It’s all about perspective. It’s a matter of choice.

The difference—in the choice between having emotional baggage and healthy emotional scars—is work.It’s digging down deep and grieving and getting dirty. It’s processing all the fear and anger and regret, all of it, by reading, writing, praying, meditating, exercising, dancing, crying, screaming, doing whatever it is that makes you feel—but most of all, by listening.

I found guides, and I listened. I trusted that they knew the way. I wanted what they had—freedom from fear and all the rest of it. I wanted it so bad, I was willing to do the work. I knew the path of emotional hoarding; I was a master of it. I also knew it only brought more suffering. Choosing the path of healing isn’t always the easiest way to go, but it is worth every tear, every pound of flesh, every minute spent on it.

I did not make a decision to “let it go” and suddenly find myself miraculously happy. I worked, and I trusted, and I still work to this day. I surrendered my will and control and chose the path of faith and hope.

Today, I travel light. I may have a small carry-on, but I’m working on traveling without any luggage. Today, I see my scars, and I lovingly respect them. Today, I live in gratitude for the healing that comes through helping others to heal and seeing the beauty in their scars.

~

Author: Terri Gama
Image: Author’s own; Pixabay 

Intuitive Eating: 5 things that happened when I Stopped Obsessing about Food.

Via Katie Garces

This year, I ended a negative relationship and started a beautiful one.

I dropped my love-hate battle with diet, weight, and body image, where “food is the enemy” and made peace with food instead.

I decided that since we’re in this together, we might as well make friends.

I stopped listening to everything else out there and started listening only to what my body wanted and needed. Honestly, after years of trying every diet in the book, consuming every nutrition blog, trying every expert recommendation, and researching the latest fad, I didn’t need any more information. That was merely muddying the already murky waters, ramping up my stress, and layering on the guilt if I wasn’t doing it “right” or managed to fail once again.

No, the last thing I needed was more information—what I needed was wisdom, body wisdom. And it was there all along, I just hadn’t bothered to pay it any attention. God forbid I trust myself! 

However, once I decided to tap into my intuition and truly embrace that innate body wisdom, some interesting and exciting things happened. Check it out:

1. My waistband loosened.

Whaaa? I’ve been wearing the same Lulus to my workouts for years. They’ve always left that telltale mark from the elastic waistband. (Ya’ll know what I’m talking about.) Today, I noticed they were actually gaping at the waist. Apparently, since I’ve dropped my stress-inducing obsession with right-or-wrong, good-or-bad foods and just followed my gut (no pun intended), I’ve dropped some pounds too!

2. I’ve stopped eating when I’m full (and I’m eating less)!

By giving my body exactly what it’s asking for as opposed to what I think it’s supposed to have, I feel satiated earlier, my body is satisfied, and I am therefore naturally just eating less.

3. My relationships are flourishing.

Now that I am no longer distracted with my constant worry (obsession) about food, what I should or shouldn’t have, or will or won’t be eating, I am more fully present in my conversations and interactions with my friends and family…and those relationships can’t help but flourish for it.

4. I’m sleeping better.

No more tossing and turning, worrying about what I ate, overate, or didn’t eat that day. If you’re a ruminator like me, you know what I’m talking about. Plus, no more early alarm clock to get that extra workout in because I need to “burn off” those extra calories from losing yet another mental battle with my fork. And better sleep equals a healthier mind and body.

5. I am happier. 

I never realized the amount of precious energy I was wasting on my toxic relationship with food and the quest for the “perfect” diet. Now, I fully trust my body to tell me what it needs, trust myself to listen, respond appropriately, and then just move on. I have subsequently freed up so much mental bandwidth for all the wonderful things my life has been waiting for me to show up for! I am free to be present, to participate in this beautiful life I’m lucky to lead—and that makes me one happy girl.

Reality check: While I was pretty psyched that I was experiencing these benefits, I wanted to dig a little deeper. Was there really something to this intuitive eating thing?

In my digging, I found a literature review published by Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (2014) that reviewed over 40 articles and research interventions looking at intuitive and mindful eating. They concluded that “overall, overweight or obese participants who learned to eat intuitively achieved significant decreases in weight or maintained their weight.”

Several of the studies went on to show improvements in depression, self-esteem, quality of life, anxiety, interpersonal sensitivity, and general well-being. And in addition to the mental health benefits, one study even showed physical health benefits including decreased blood pressure, improved cholesterol, and increased physical activity (and subsequently, improved cardiovascular health) at the one-year follow up.

So what does intuitive eating look like for me?

My intuitive eating practice focuses on what my body wants and needs. I listen for hunger cues and craving cues as opposed to how many calories, carbs, or macros I “should” be consuming.

Case in point: at a recent breakfast out, my body was craving something cold, crunchy, and sweet. One look at the menu and the yogurt bowl with fruit and house-made granola got my mouth watering.

Historically, I would have pushed this desire aside in lieu of a lower-carb, higher-protein breakfast such as eggs and veggies with a side of sausage—because that’s what I was “supposed” to have. Having ignored what my body was asking for, I would have consumed the more savory meal, but not been satisfied. I’d have found myself grazing the rest of the morning, not because I was still hungry, but because my cravings hadn’t been met, and because of that, likely over-eating.

Instead, I allowed myself the yogurt bowl, which, mind you, was still perfectly healthy. There was nothing wrong with either choice; I just allowed myself that crunch, cold, and sweetness that my body was asking for, and I was satisfied. I didn’t think about food again for hours.

By listening to my body and honoring its request, I was able to eat just what I needed to feel light and satiated at the same time, and I wasn’t left with lingering, unmet cravings.

How to start intuitive eating:

You might be thinking: this sounds amazing, but can I do it?

Yes—you absolutely can. You were born with this innate wisdom.

Trust that your body knows what it needs.

Pause, take a deep breath, do a body scan, ask what you need, and just listen. Secondly, and this is important, don’t judge! Remember, there is no right or wrong when it comes to food—other than what we label it ourselves.

Release the judgement and guilt and begin listening to your body’s natural intuition when it comes to food. Drown out the “experts” and latest diet hype. Sure, they may work for some, but if that way of living isn’t working for you (and if you’ve read this far, I’m guessing it’s not), then surrender the battle already.

Make friends with food and agree to move forward as a united front, in it together, for your well-being, mind, and body. I promise it’s not only possible, but totally worth it!

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Relephant:

3 Reasons why we should Avoid Falling into the “Clean Eating” Trap.

10 Surprising Tips to Help Avoid Emotionally Overeating.

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Author: Katie Garces
Image: Quinn Dombrowski/Flickr