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“Awakening is not changing who you are, but discarding who you are not.” ~ Deepak Chopra
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What if…
What if there were no mirrors?
What if there were no scales to measure our weight?
What if there were no beauty standards set by Hollywood?
What if the companies that sell beauty products, and tell women every day what they could be, what they should be, and what they aren’t—what if they didn’t exist?
What if there were no “before photos” to compare to?
These are questions that have been asked by those in the body-positive movement for decades. But today is the first time I am asking them.
And I know the answer to every single question: I would be content.
Would I be happy? I’m not sure, happiness is something one needs to find and create inside themselves, is subjective from person to person, and I wouldn’t hang my hat of happiness on this particular struggle I face, so I won’t proclaim I would be happy, per se. But I definitely would be content. At peace. Copasetic. For sure.
I know this because it happened (briefly) about a month ago. I had stopped weighing myself on the scale, started exercising regularly, was eating a fairly health diet, was practicing a consistent intermittent fasting/eating schedule, and I felt genuinely good.
I felt healthy, both mentally and physically, and I felt strong and confident. I also felt like I was making progress holistically with my health. I was on track.
Then I went to the doctor for a physical. They made me step on the scale, as doctors always do. I wasn’t going to look at the number, I was just going to look away—but knowing how hard I had worked for three to four weeks prior to the visit, I wanted to take a peek and hopefully see some positive results.
As I stepped onto the ice-cold aluminum platform in my stocking feet and hospital gown, that tied haphazardly in the back, my eyes drifted downward, and I felt the anticipation rising. All of my hopes and dreams were resting on that three-digit number. I always try to downplay the effect the scale has on me, but truth be told, it has the power to make or break my mood for the day (or sometimes longer).
It always has.
Sadly, I didn’t see good news on the scale that morning. I was heartbroken at the number that lay before me. I’ll leave the actual weight out of this piece but suffice it to say it was a number I hadn’t seen since I was three-months postpartum from having my youngest son (who is presently 15 years old).
Backing up a little bit, I had spend the better part of the past year overindulging in junk food and eating extra-big portions. I was grieving the loss of my dad (he passed away in July 2024), and this was before I got myself into grief therapy and started working on my complicated and sad feelings. So I knew I had gained weight.
In fact, I was stepping on the scale daily and watching it go up and up for quite a long stretch of time this past year, and then I decided doing that was having a negative impact on my mental health, so I decided to take a break from weighing. After that, I started feeling better mentally, so I took the initiative to get back on track with my health, and that brings us back to four paragraphs ago when I shared how I was exercising regularly, eating well, and practicing consistent intermittent fasting—and most importantly, feeling good.
Since that appointment six weeks ago, I have been spiraling, spending a lot of energy hating every glimpse of myself in the mirror, despising every piece of clothing I put on my body, berating myself for not having better genes, better self-control, better everything.
Until today.
Today, I got dressed in this ridiculously comfortable shorts romper and I felt good for a few minutes. Then the full-size mirror came out so I could inspect all of my flaws, tear myself down, and ruin my perfectly good mood (and a perfectly great outfit).
Before the me-bashing could begin, I stopped and asked myself this:
If I didn’t step on the scale today and know how much I weighed, if I didn’t look at myself in the mirror to pick apart my slightly rounder stomach, if I didn’t pore over the younger and thinner photos of myself while angrily comparing my current appearance to them, how would I feel right in this moment, in this crazy-comfortable shorts romper?
The answer is: I would feel content. I’d be at peace. And I would probably walk around feeling confident, as is usually the case when I wear something I really like that fits me well.
It hit me like a bolt of lightning (please forgive the simile, as it is literally storming outside right now as I write this)—what if I just keep doing what I was doing for 4 weeks leading up to my doctor’s appointment? You know, where I focus on my health, eat well, practice consistent intermittent fasting, exercise regularly for strength, and also take care of my mental health by not weighing my body on the scale? What if I just do that and remain content?
My doctor orders bloodwork every year to check my cholesterol, A1C, thyroid, blood glucose, and many other panels. So, my plan is to focus on making sure that bloodwork is good year after year. That will be my main measure of success from here on out. If my body happens to tone up over the coming months as I continue to exercise regularly, then how my clothes are fitting will be yet another tool to measure my success.
But I also think I am ready to accept my body for what and where it is right now.
Make no mistake, this is not me giving up. Acceptance means acknowledging reality without resistance. It’s a conscious, empowered choice to face what is—whether it’s a situation, feeling, or limitation—while still maintaining our values, self-respect, and potential for growth. It can be calm, strong, and rooted in wisdom.
Giving up means abandoning effort, hope, or responsibility. It’s usually driven by discouragement, helplessness, or fear, and often involves turning away from what matters to you. I am not turning away—I am leaning in.
I am accepting who I am, as I am. But I will keep pushing forward to be the healthiest version of me. My health goals are stronger than ever, and I care deeply about having a long life span. I want the second half of my life to be a healthy one, but also one where I am not feeling bitter and angry toward my body. I am lucky to have the body I have—it gave me two healthy children, carried me over the finish line of five full marathons, and continues to provide me with strength to do things, big and small, every single day.
I feel like I am a little late to the body positivity party. But hey, better late than never because it’s about time I started loving myself! And I am writing this in the hopes that it reaches someone like me, someone who might be a bit stuck on the scale weight or preoccupied with not looking “perfect,” or who is feeling way too much dislike for the beautiful body they live in. That is such a hard space to exist in.
It’s not easy to just say we’ll ignore years of conditioning, trauma, and negative body image issues and simply “be free” of those chains. But piece by piece, we can slowly get there.
And the biggest chain I can break right now is that damn scale. I am ready to let it go and remove the hold it has over me. I am tired of not feeling like enough because of how much I weigh.
What’s chaining you? Is there something you can let go of today?
Starting now, my weight on the scale is no longer relevant to me, and I know I don’t need it to be healthy. My doctor actually told me she doesn’t subscribe to the outdated concept of Body Mass Index (BMI) and prefers to take a more holistic approach to her patients’ health, factoring in blood panels, blood pressure, and how they feel physically and mentally.
So I won’t be weighing myself again. Because let’s be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever see a number on that machine that would make me feel good about myself. Even if I reached whatever my, or society’s, unreasonable goal weight was, there would always be a lower number, a better number, a more unattainable goal, and another reason to feel bad about myself.
But I can feel good, right now, today—”unweighed” and in this deliciously comfortable shorts romper, all day long.
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