Overcoming the Storm by Becoming the Storm.

Via Katherine H. Cross

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

Love is my destination, life is my journey.

When I walk through a forest wilderness, I remember that each step is as significant as the waterfall or mountain crest that awaits. In that place of mindfulness and presence, I am able to see the infinite beauty of the world that surrounds me.

When I was under the curse of a toxic relationship, I experienced the world through turbid and murky waters. Like fine sand and silt, I was suspended sediment, easily blended about in the shallow waters of the ocean, pushed around by unpredictable currents that swelled during a violent storm.

I saw gray, gloomy skies, weeping branches and melancholy expressions on empty faces. I felt that grayness, sadness and emptiness. I remember hoping for stormy days so the weather would match my mood. I was an ominous, cumulonimbus cloud hovering over a desolate path. I was a weeping willow in a dark, haunted town. I was a flower rooted in the ground under the shade of the willow, desperately seeking light.

During the honeymoon phase of my new relationship with myself, I spoiled my body, mind and soul with attention. I began a journey of exploring my true self and the depths and desires of my heart. There was light beyond the shade, but I had to step out of my own shadow.

I went on solitary walks at dawn so I could observe the rose-pink light of sunrise and listen to the quietude of empty streets. The morning light decorated the sky with curtains of color. I saw a lamp glowing behind pulled shades and I wondered about the strangers inside. In my journal I wrote a quote by Rumi, “The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you, don’t go back to sleep.”

Poetry filled my mind with song. I read verses from the Bhagavad Gita before bed each night while the luminous light of the moon dripped through my open window. The sheer curtains swayed gently as a subtle breeze entered my dreaming room. Curiosity filled my imagination as I wondered about the poets and their scriptures that captivated me. Did they write beside a tranquil river, under twinkling stars and planets, by the dim light of a flickering candle, or under the spell of deep, true love?

Hiking adventures brought me an abundance of pleasure.

As I followed the trails, I became encased in walls of green. Layers of leaves surrounded me, and I was amazed at the shapes, sounds and colors of the woods. I closed my eyes during a heavy wind and felt the lungs of the Earth expand and relax. In nature, I inhaled the ionized prana that purified my soul.

The quietude of the woods encouraged me to listen. Occasionally, the sounds of moving water led me off the path. A hidden stream made me wonder about fairies. A fallen leaf floated away the way my dreams do. I was hypnotized by the serene scenery as golden waves of sunlight filtered through a cathedral of trees.

“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep Sea, and music in its roar:
I love not Man the less, but Nature more.”

 ~ George Gordon Lord Byron

I treasured my symbiotic relationship with Nature. She mesmerized me with her beauty, embraced me with her winds and kissed me with her warm ribbons of sunshine. Walking mindfully along the paths that diverged through the wilderness, I felt the Earth beneath my feet. From the highest elevation, I gazed at the land below and felt deeply at peace. As I listened to the sounds of silence, quotes of Hemingway and Thoreau were whispered into my heart. Beautiful words drifted through space and I realized my life was a poem.

The universe gave me a peace offering in the form of Nature. Fresh grass cushioned my bare feet. The whispering breeze spoke to my spirit and my wavy hair danced freely in the wind. I honored my neighbors, a community of birds that shared the woods behind my townhome. Eastern towhees, cardinals, Carolina chickadees and sparrows weightlessly traveled through the trees. Robins ran across the lawn whistling melodic hymns. At dawn, one could hear the melancholy ballad of a mourning dove. The rays of the sun cast down onto my exposed skin and touched my cheeks and changed me.

Particles of calmness and serenity sprinkled within my atmosphere the way snowflakes drift in a snow globe. I opened my arms and lifted my palms to the utopian universe. I accepted all the gifts that the universe offered me. The warmth and light of sunshine, the purifying flexibility of water, the energy of the storms, the security of Earth and the mystery of space. Poetry, flowers, birds and clouds pervaded my dreams.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience.”

I waited for the storms of my life to pass, then suddenly my eyes were open to the beauty and mystery of my reality.

There was a blue horizon waiting for me and I was greeted with banners of color at the end of a rainbow. I found a lucid stillness within myself that resembled the way the sky looks calm and bright after an exuberant storm. The cloudy water that blinded my vision started to dissolve.

The Earth will continue to rotate, shifting the aquamarine waters of our planet. But I am not just a piece of suspended matter stirring about in lively currents after a violent storm. I am the storm—energetic, powerful and mysterious. I am a sunken gemstone, heavy and unmoved by shallow waves. I am the calmness after the storm. I am the ocean, deep and ever-changing.

I no longer wished for gray days to accompany the sullen weather in my heart. I found a hidden treasure within myself and the beauty of existence orbited my senses. I abandoned the girl with sadness in her eyes and opened my petals to the light.

One evening, I opened my window to watch an approaching thunderstorm. The energy of the storm electrified my spirit while the rain washed my broken heart away. The euphoric patterns in the sky were magical. Finally, my heart was at peace.

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

~

Author: Katherine H. Cross