I have always and still do
struggle with insecurities; I not only struggle with mine but find myself
in intimate relationships with significant others that do as well. It is
a repetitive cycle I find myself in with myself and with others. It is
about reminding myself that God is greater than my doubts, fear and
insecurities, and he has not brought me this far to let me fall. I must
also be reminded that it is not my place to take on anyone else's
insecurities. It is my part to do the next right thing and it doesn't
always agree with others, but reliance on a Higher Power allows me to be
myself and allows others to be where they choose to be as well. I have to
stay spiritually connected to remember God loves me and I must love
myself too. Finding strength in my Higher Power allows me to keep putting
one foot in front of the other, do the best I can with what I have, and
leave the results to God. I must always remember that I am just a small
part in God's grand d esign and by aligning my will with his will, I better
fit in the universal scheme of things. My insecurities seem to manifest
most when I am working with others, have the spotlight on me, or doing
something alien. Left to my own devices, I will self-destruct. I must
rely on God's grace, design for living through the program and
solution-based thinking. I must pray often, step back, just breathe and
trust the process—I will spiral out of control otherwise. That is assured
failure because any success I have in my life is a direct result of the
program and God's Divine Grace. Peace, love and recovery to you all; my
name is Peyton S, and I am a Codependent.
Peyton S - 4/9/17
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