Nobility

When a man has pity on all living creatures, then only is he noble. -Gautama Buddha

I saw a man on the freeway putting himself at risk to save a runaway dog. Occasionally, I see a lady in my local park feeding the ducks. When I'm at the airport I occasionally observe a blind person being helped by a guide dog. Love, concern, and trust are all aspects of Say Yes to Your Spirit. And none of this is complicated. The above stories that include animals are all everyday experiences. None of them are complicated theory. Rather they represent feelings. They are an emotional response to life. Nobility is demonstrating love as a response to the many happenings in our life. It is the love dance. - Leo Booth

Today I am able to appreciate the creatures who share our planet.

On this day of your life

I believe God wants you to know ...

... that had a person not sinned,

what would there be for you to pardon?

Ovid said that, and he was right.

Everyone who shows up in our lives shows up the way they are

showing up so that you can show up the way you planned to show up.

Are you showing up that way?  Or have you forgotten why that

person who is "doing it to you" is doing it to you...?

Do not make the mistake of thinking this is all real. 

Everyone Can Heal (OM)

by Madisyn Taylor We all have the ability to use our healing hands, we only need our intention. Touch is the first tool we turn to when confronting pain. We react similarly to a stubbed toe and a broken heart, tenderly grasping the affected area. This need to apply physical contact is part of the innate healing instinct present within each of us. We are all born with the ability to heal ourselves and to heal others. Because healing energy does not come from within but from outside our ourselves, the energy is there for anyone to use, and thus no formal training is required. When you have the intent to heal and love is your only motive, you become a conduit for healing energy. Through the simple laying on of hands, you can direct that universal healing energy in order to comfort those who are experiencing pain or distress. In performing healing energy work, it is imperative that you ground yourself both before you begin and afterward. The illnesses and issues others face can be absorbed into our energy field, and healing can exhaust our own energy reserves. Address the universe directly, stating that you wish to be a one-way channel through which healing energy flows through you and that your energy supply should not be depleted. Next, speak your intention and place your hands on the individual you are endeavoring to heal. Let your intuition guide you to the afflicted area and imagine a healing white light being drawn in through the top of your head and emanating through your hands. The energy will begin to flow once you have made a physical connection, and your touch will help awaken the body's capacity for self-healing. The afflicted areas of the body, which were initially tense or tight, will relax once imbued with enough healing energy. Not everybody is sensitive to subtle energy, so try not to feel like you aren't helping if you don't feel the flow. The work you are doing is indeed helping. Finally, thank the universe. Disconnect yourself from the person being healed by speaking your intention to sever your connection and then wash your hands. Understanding how energy works is less important than consciously choosing to make use of it. Performing a loving healing session on your loved ones can be a wonderfully intimate experience that brings you closer together. And as the rejuvenating healing energy passes through you, it can awaken a profound compassion within you that helps you better understand the interactions between the spiritual, physical, and mental selves.

The Quote

Removing Forces of Negativity (MB)

Michael Berg

NOVEMBER, 2018

Regarding the beginning of the portion Vayeshev which tells the story of the family of Jacob, Rashi quotes an explanation from the Midrash as to why this story follows the ending of the previous portion Vayishlach. It had described all the different kings who existed then, and all the generations and family of Esau, who, at the time, was considered Jacob’s negative brother. 

"THERE IS THE INTERNAL ASPECT AND THERE IS THE EXTERNAL ASPECT."

To explain why this portion, Vayeshev, begins with Jacob and his family, Rashi brings a parable about a man traveling with his camels that are laden with linen. The man and his camels walk by a coal worker who sees them, and says, “Look at all this linen! I am overwhelmed,” to which a wise person tells him, “Do not worry about all of the linen; if one spark from your flame jumps out, it will burn it all up.” Rashi explains that this is how Jacob saw all the generations of Esau; not as stories about families, but rather, like the linen, as forces of negativity, and is therefore overwhelmed.

So, Jacob is overwhelmed in the beginning of the portion Vayeshev, and in order to calm him and answer his question of how someone can fight against all of these forces and energies of darkness, negativity, and destruction mentioned in the end of the previous portion, the Midrash says that the house of Jacob is a fire, the house of Joseph is a flame, and the forces of Esau, of darkness and negativity, are like hay; one spark comes out of Joseph and burns up all of the hay that is Esau.

Let’s just understand, in a literal sense, what Rashi is quoting from the Midrash. Jacob sees all of the generations of Esau and is overwhelmed. He does not see a way out of all of the darkness and pain that is going to exist in the world, and asks, “How can I stop all of this darkness and destruction?” The answer the Midrash gives, as in the parable, is that it is possible for us to have one spark of Light that will burn away all these forces of negativity.

What is the secret, then, of the parable, and more importantly, how do we use it in our own lives? The kabbalists explain that with everything in our world, there is the internal aspect and there is the external aspect. Most of us, unfortunately, live within the realm of the external aspect, caring what others think and say about us. That is a clear indication that we are invested more in the external aspect of things than the internal. Unfortunately, pain, suffering, death, and darkness are also aspects of the external, and if an individual gives strength to any of the external aspects of things in his consciousness and in the way he lives his life, he also gives power to the external aspects of the world; the forces not only bring darkness to the world as a whole, but also to the individual. 

"WE GO TO THE INTERNAL ASPECT OF OUR SOUL AND FOCUS THERE."

So, how does one burn up that external aspect? How can an individual who is experiencing judgment and negativity burn it up and make it disappear? The answer is simple. If an individual starts living his life not being concerned about the external, but only about the internal aspect - which is his soul, transformation, and spiritual work - then that spark can burn all of the external judgments. When we are overwhelmed by darkness and judgment, we can take it away by first remembering that it is only external; it is not real, it does not have an existence, and one spark of an internal Light can burn it all away.

The question we have to ask ourselves, therefore, is: what are my concerns and where is my focus? Because if we continue to be focused on, and concerned about, the external, then there is no way we can ever stop the judgment or burn up all of that negativity. Conversely, if we understand that the only way we can burn off all of the external is by focusing on sending out a spark from the internal, we begin to focus our life only on our transformation and our connection to the Light of the Creator. Then, in so doing, "The spark travels out and burns up all negativity,” as the Midrash says.

We can burn off judgment and all the overwhelming forces of darkness, both individually and for the world, by sending out a spark of our internal aspect. How do we do that? By refocusing our mind not to care what people think or say about us, by not caring anymore about all the external things that we spend most of our days focusing on and worrying about. Instead, we go to the internal aspect of our soul and focus there. That is the secret of this Midrash; Jacob is overwhelmed by all the forces of negativity, but the Creator says, “Do not forget, they are not real.” And then we, like Jacob, can remove those forces of negativity and judgment with one spark, but we have to be connected to that spark, the internal aspect. 

Time

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. -Steven Wright

When we Say Yes to Your Spirit we acknowledge that there is a thing called time; it is the space that makes up our hours, days, weeks,months, and years.We are born into time. Spirituality teaches us to respect time. Take time. Relax. We can rush at life or we can seek balance. I believe that if we are always in a hurry, rushing, never smelling the roses, then we abuse time. The psalmist suggests, "Be still, and know that I am God." Take a breath. If we are to dance in God, then we need time to make the correct steps, gliding into creativity. Today we know that compulsion, obsession, addiction, and fanaticism are all unhealthy behaviors because they are frantic.We all need the gift of balance, if we are really to create anything in our lives. This is the dance.

Today I respect the quality of time.

On this day of your life

I believe God wants you to know ...

... that if you do not expect the unexpected you will not find it,

for it is not to be reached by search or trial.

Heraclitus said that, and he was right.

Life is delighted to bring you The Unexpected.

Are you delighted to receive it?

Indeed, belief in the coming of The Unexpected is the

genesis of hope. How can you hope for anything breathtaking or

exciting if you can only hope for the already expected? Therefore,

you must always think that anything can happen.

Form your ideas and 

your dreams within that framework! 
Remember, God specializes in The Unexpected.  

Getting Back to Holiday Basics (OM)

by Madisyn Taylor There are many unique ways to celebrate the holidays without spending too much money or becoming exhausted in the process. The true meaning of the holidays can easily get lost in the details. While many of the diverse festivals and feasts we celebrate are designed to be times for celebrating life, new beginnings, traditions, and landmark occasions, those sentiments can be swept away by the stress of overloaded to-do lists and seemingly never-ending holiday obligations. Yet there are many unique and satisfying ways to celebrate the holidays without spending too much money or becoming exhausted in the process. Whereas the media, and possibly even loved ones, may encourage you to do and buy more, concentrating on the spirit of faith, giving, love, and hope during the holidays can help you do more with less. You can create new holiday traditions that help you focus on what you find important. Holidays can be a wonderful time for taking stock of what matters most to you. This can include family, community, helping those less fortunate, and loving the earth. If you feel driven to give the people in your life gifts, consider presents that encourage positive living or whose impact will continue to be felt long after the holidays. Think about donating your effort to making someone else's life better by hosting a party for seniors or volunteering at a homeless shelter. You can also make a charitable donation or plant a seedling tree in a loved one's name. Instead of giving your friends and family material goods, give them the gift of your time. Organize get-togethers that include relatives or acquaintances that you seldom see and emphasize togetherness, fun, and celebration. Time spent making homemade gifts can give you a chance to ruminate on what you treasure about your loved ones. When exploring the true meaning of the holidays and getting back to the true spirit of the season, allow yourself to alter existing traditions. Even a blessing before a meal or a walk under the stars can help you reconnect with the holidays. Do what fulfills you and then stop before your celebration becomes more of a hassle than a happy occasion. Get back to the basics of generosity and goodwill, and your holiday will certainly be a rewarding one.

5 Things to do when you Feel Abandoned.

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“So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you” ~ Mariah Carey

~

Who hasn’t felt abandoned at some point in their lives?

We’ve all been there. Abandonment can take on many forms, and it can manifest in any form—from feeling abandoned in childhood, to a spouse abandoning you; from being abandoned as an aging parent, to someone feeling like society or humanity has abandoned them.

It also shows up as feeling left out in social situations, or in situations of recognition, like being excluded from an office promotion even after working hard on a project. And it can show up in a family situation: feeling alone deep inside, even when being surrounded by people.

For some though, being abandoned, physically and emotionally, can become a recurring theme in their life.

For these people, all the situations listed above might apply, as well as other various abandonment patterns. If you are one of them, I am sure you will recognize these symptoms:

Highly sensitive. These people are acutely aware of how they feel, how everyone around them feels, and how the words, actions, and even gestures of one person can affect another.

Inclusive. Many times, these people will bear the company of a person out of sheer compassion, even if they don’t enjoy their company.

Authentic. These people try to live their life in the most authentic and true way possible, free of lies and manipulation.

So, if you know someone who is a good fit for the above categories (maybe yourself), here are some musings from a fellow “abandonment-feeler.”

Ever since I was a child, I have had difficulties fitting in. I was different, and I matured at quite an early age. The things children my age would find amusing did not interest me at all.

With time, it became easier to fit in, but the feeling of being different remained. Life, as it always does, kept presenting me with circumstances in which these feelings would surface, and I was always left feeling abandoned by those around me.

This happened in school, in my family, during my higher studies, at the office, in the family I married into, and ultimately with my partner—whom I considered my soul mate. These incidents included both emotional and physical abandonment.

The hurt of these abandonments got me thinking: Why? Why does this hurt so much?

That’s when I had a light bulb moment and realized that this had been a pattern in my life—this feeling of abandonment, this feeling of being completely alone. It had been collecting inside of me, and the more recent abandonment situations had allowed all those bottled up feelings to come up like champagne bursting out of a bottle.

How, then, could I resolve these bottled up feelings? The answer came in the form of a quote I saw on social media:

“When you are in pain, listen—the universe is trying to tell you something.”

Those words resonated with every part of my being. What is the universe trying to tell me? So, I sat in this pain of abandonment for almost a year, and throughout the year, I kept having epiphanies and the universe kept supplying me with the required answers.

Here are some things I learned:

1. Take time to heal.

If you find yourself in this cycle of rejection and abandonment, it points to some core wounds that need healing. The most important ones being: “I am enough,” and “I matter.” Once you work on childhood wounds and even past-life regressions (yes, some wounds can go beyond this lifetime), as well as mindfulness and meditation, you will start resonating with these words. As a result, you will feel whole, complete within yourself.

2. Put yourself first.

Practicing self-love is key. Fill up your own cup before you try to pour into the cup of another. Take charge of your own physical and mental health, thoughts, and energy. This might include saying “no” to things you might have happily completed before.

You need to recharge and replenish yourself daily. You need to become your number one priority. And by this, I do not mean you need to be selfish, but if a request from someone conflicts with your self-care and well-being, do not feel obliged to do it.

3. Listen to your body, feelings, and intuition.

Many times, we attract people who abandon us or disrespect us because we are doing this to ourselves. This is a hard pill to swallow, and it takes some time to see it clearly.

Are you not showing up for yourself in some parts of your life? Are you not standing up to a bully boss? Are you not honoring your body and filling it with junk? Are you making your body and mind work overtime for a promotion that you want, denying them the rest they deserve? If so, you are abusing yourself, you are crossing your own boundaries, and this will invite people in your life who will do the same. What we feel internally is mirrored in the people we meet in life.

4. Follow your passions.

Use this alone time to find something that ignites your soul and follow it. It could be that you do this activity only 10 percent of the time if you’re busy, but it will keep you filled with zest for life for the remaining 90 percent. Once you start understanding yourself and what sets your soul on fire, the desire to explain yourself to others automatically disappears.

5. Don’t abandon yourself—be your own hero.

If someone ignores you or leaves you—emotionally or even physically—remember this: you are whole all by yourself. Truly understanding this can take time, but with the right inner work and mindful living practices, it’s a completely achievable state of being. A state of wholeness, of completeness, of having your cup overflowing just with the presence of your own being.

Additional tips:

To discover your inner nature and the mystic patterns that your soul has, you can use some of the personality tests available online: MBTIand Carl Jung’s Archetype quiz.

Astrological charts also provide some insight into our patterns. One tidbit that I found useful was that highly sensitive people are often water signs (Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces), while people who are less emotional and more practical are typically earth signs (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo). All of these are great ways to get to know yourself in depth—so that you can nurture yourself in a way that is more customized for you.

I hope these tips help you to move a little closer to resolving the abandonment issues that might have been cropping up in your life.

~

AUTHOR: RADHIKA BANHATTI 

IMAGE: PIXABAY

How to Heal in the Now without Living in the Past.

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As a psychotherapist, and one who works closely with people who have been sexually assaulted, I am often approached to help them “delve into their past trauma,” so they can heal themselves.

While I value the ability to talk about our tragedies and traumas, I do not necessarily believe we need to focus on them in order to heal.

That does not mean there is no importance in visiting the memories that surface or the images that continue to loop in our psyche, but it does mean that we don’t necessarily need them to be the focus.

We can be trauma informed without being trauma focused.

Recently, at a book launch and signing of my new release: Sacred, Not Secret: An Integrated Approach to Sexual (R)Evolution, I was asked to discuss how I work. I believe in storytelling as an engagement and healing tool, so I told a story illustrating where my work shows up and let them determine the how themselves.

I was contracted to work with people through a grant funded program in my local county. This grant was specific to those who were sexually assaulted. I would begin each first session with the same information and statements.

Particularly, I would tell those I worked with that I didn’t need the details of their assault unless they felt it necessary to tell me. I let them know I would ask questions for clarification and that they had their own agency to answer or not.

Almost every person I met with was in disbelief that I did not want to know what happened to them.

They expressed that they had been asked so many questions, had to tell their story over and over, and they thought they would need to again. I reassured them, each and every time, that I knew they were here because of an assault, and that I am familiar with the impact of assault. Their body was going to tell me more of a story than their words could.

Some sighed with relief. Some spoke in great detail. Many stated that they felt they had experienced more harm from the “professionals trying to help,” than they did the assault itself. All of them expressed that they were grateful for the approach as it gave them a sense of control.

I work from a perspective that integrates mind and body; an approach that combines Western psychosocial theories of human development with more Eastern philosophies of energy centers in our bodies.

As we develop as sexual beings, there are things that either encourage or block that development like culture, social values, and trauma. The way a person sits, the tone of their voice, and their in/ability to care for their physical and emotional wellness are all indicators of their functional and developmental maturation. The details don’t necessarily matter if we understand that trauma has an impact. If we address the impact of the current level of development or functioning, we can approach from an informed lens while not needing to stay focused on it.

So, I shared this story about a person who came to see me after being assaulted:

We went through the standard conversation about whether or not they were going to press charges—why and why not. We discussed the hospital visit and their feelings about the biological remnants of the attack. They expressed that they thought they would need to recall the event again in our sessions and they were grateful to have the freedom not to.

As they began to speak, I watched their eyes, their body position, and the tension in the shoulders and belly. And then I saw it, in their body. There it was: indication that this wasn’t their first assault.

At a natural break in the vocal recollection, I asked gently, “This wasn’t your first assault was it?”

As I watched their eyes get wider, I had my confirmation, and I exhaled the tension I had not noticed building in my own body. They stopped, and said with some wonderment, “No, it isn’t. I’ve never spoken to anyone about it. How did you know?” I explained again that our bodies are amazing and tell a story that words cannot capture. As we spoke about this, their body began to loosen and they began to tell the story of—in their words—a much more horrid assault that left them for dead.

In that same session, we discussed their inability to connect intimately and sexually with their current partner and their desire to. We spoke of the imagery that would come up, but more so the body response. We began there: knowing there was pain due to recent and past events, but striving for health in the here and now.

Again, trauma informed but not trauma focused.

A few sessions in, this person expressed that they had sought therapy in the past, but ended up feeling so sick to their stomach that they couldn’t make it out of the house—they felt they would just have to relive the experience over and over and over. They reported that they felt freer, knowing that there was trauma but that they didn’t have to focus on it in order to heal.

A few more weeks in, after building some rapport, of course, they walked into session and I exclaimed, “You had sex!” They looked at me and said, “How do you…forget it!” And we both laughed.

While I do not believe my ability to read a body a “magic power,” I do believe we have the ability to intrinsically understand (be informed) that trauma has an impact while not spending all of the time rehashing (focused on) the details.

We can live in the now, heal in the now, and even grow in the now without delving “deep into the darkness.”

Sometimes, that requires the ability to widen rather than deepen, thus embracing the strength of our roots while expanding our branches. The healing will align.

~

AUTHOR: CHRISTINE LAPLANTE

IMAGE: LARM RMAH/UNSPLASH