I know that many people think that their life is over after narcissistic abuse, or that it will never be the same again.
I am so thrilled and inspired to share with you today that this is simply not true!
Actually, your life forever being changed is true, in the most beautiful way that you can imagine. If you heal the Thriver Way, then there is the incredible opportunity to transform your life in miraculous ways after narcissistic abuse.
After you read this article, I hope that you can understand exactly what I mean.
So, it is with great joy (because I love this moving forward stuff!) that I will get started in sharing with you the 4 main areas that can transform in your life after narcissistic abuse.
As I do so, in each one, I am going to explain to you the truth regarding before narcissistic abuse, during narcissistic abuse, recovery from narcissistic abuse and after narcissistic abuse.
This 4-step formula will grant you the transformational piece that you may not have been able to understand or access until now, allowing you to understand that your miraculous Thriver Transformation is not despite narcissistic abusing happening to you, it is because of narcissistic abuse happening for you.
I know this is hard to initially accept! Those of you living the Thriver Way already know this to be true. If you aren’t there yet, that’s perfectly understandable.
Please come on the journey of this article with me and then see how you feel.
Note: this information is relevant for any narcissist in your life. Such as a spouse, lover, family member, authority figure … anyone at all.
Today, I will also share with you parts of my recovery – because I know that my journey of transformation from narcissistic abuse to my True Self and True Life is your passage from dark to light as well.
All right … on with the 4 main areas that I believe you can transform in your life after narcissistic abuse.
Number 1 – The Confidence To Be Yourself
The experience of narcissistic abuse literally strips your self-esteem and self-actualisation on virtually every level. It becomes increasingly difficult to function in your everyday existence because the trauma is so extreme. Your rights and the truth of your life are severely crippled.
To heal, transform and Thrive after narcissistic abuse, self-discovery and self-honesty is essential. This is the deep inner journey I did for myself and have helped thousands of others do, to change their lives beyond description.
Many of us did not originally know that we were not fully a “self” before narcissistic abuse. And that was really normal, because it was our normal! There were aspects of us not feeling emotionally whole, solid and self-generative, even though we may have been highly intelligent, and very practically and even functionally capable and successful.
(People who have been narcissistically abused are some of the nicest, smartest, most incredible people I have ever met!)
Narcissists foster and create huge dependencies. They knew where to find those parts of us that felt “empty” or “still hurt by the past” or “unloved” or “fearful and insecure about our future” (or whatever it was that felt like it was “missing” within ourselves).
They showed up in abundance to make these parts feel “safe” and “whole”. This is where despite being so capable and intelligent, we handed away our power to them – and unconsciously assigned them to be our source of love, approval, survival or security. We tried to keep the peace to keep them happy. We didn’t know how to set boundaries, and leave if they weren’t respected. (As children of course this wasn’t possible).
This created trauma bonds. When the abuse unleashed, rather than be able to pull away and look after ourselves, we tried to wrestle with the narcissist, fix and change them to stop the abuse. Or pacify them to survive.
I promise you this, people who had different inner emotional compositions than we did, who had the programming from an early age to grow up as healthily emotionally independent and interdependent, rather than being stuck in the wounded stages of codependently seeking a “self” from outside of one’s self, knew how to not tolerate narcissistic individuals, and/or how to leave when the mask dropped and the abusive writing was on the wall.
I know, personally, (as a result of knowing and healing my “self”) I did not have the emotional inner wholeness to establish “who I was” during narcissistic abuse. I didn’t have the inner self-partnering and solidness to let go, love and honour me. The truth really was I didn’t have my established self and boundaries before entering narcissistic abuse.
I didn’t know this because “who I was” back then had been my “normal”. It wasn’t until narcissistic abuse that I even discovered this about myself.
During narcissistic abuse the parts of me that weren’t fully grown up as self-loving, self-respecting and “full” in my own Being, re-lived the trauma of feeling unloved, unworthy, abandoned and emotionally broken all over again, in even more devastating ways than ever before.
This is the same for all of us.
In Thriver Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, you learn to turn inwards and love and heal these parts of yourself back to wholeness. This heals up and completes our unfinished emotional business, where we didn’t have the grounding, examples and unconditional love to know and be ourselves safely and healthily.
After narcissistic abuse, as a result of the descent into a fully activated broken “self”, all of the unconscious wounds of our past are fully activated up into our consciousness to the level where we simply can’t go on as usual.
This creates the most astounding of opportunities – the full dedication to healing these parts and transforming these previous wounds. I promise you this, it is my greatest joy to become more and more my True Self (trauma free) every day, and to help others claim their confidence and ability to be free to be themselves, with joy, love, inspiration and power-full-ness.
When you start Thriver Healing and experience a much more solid inner healed up “self”, and you have Source flowing through you as you, you finally have the power and the freedom to be yourself, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.
Then you CAN choose what and who aligns with your true values and self, and easily leave alone and depart from what and who doesn’t.
This is when your life becomes one of authenticity, growth, love, wonder and joy.
I promise you, I only ever had brief snippets of that before narcissistic abuse. Now as a result of my Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse, this is the life I live every day.
I know that you can too!
Number 2 – Self-love And Self-peace
Before narcissistic abuse, I did not realise that self-love and self-peace had been conditional for me. I strove for these emotional prizes for decades. I did all sorts of therapy, spiritual practices, read countless books and did a ton of training and seminars trying to find “the answer” to my quest to get self-love and self-peace.
When the narcissist came into my life, I thought I had finally found peace and love. He seemed to be everything I had been waiting for to “complete me”. (We know how that story goes!)
Suffice to say, whilst being in the throes of narcissistic abuse, I suffered torment that I believed I would never experience, and when I looked in the mirror into my own eyes the shame and self-disgust I felt was mind-blowing.
I was shocked at how dehumanised I had become.
Thriver Recovery became a daily practice of reversing my self-abandonment, self-rejection, self-hatred, and self-criticism, into a devoted self-partnering love affair.
I learned how to accept myself as I was, broken, traumatised and shattered, finally putting the value on my Soul and my dedication to healing it before any value based on my image, achievements, financial position or status. I knew, finally, that my relationship with myself was firmly between me and my Soul and God/Source/Creation.
As I shifted out the horrific traumas that had been obscenely (yet perfectly) triggered up to the surface as a result of narcissistic abuse and connected with my own Soul and Source, I started to feel a warmth, a love, a comfort that I had never known before.
No longer was I looking outwards at false Sources for my sense of peace or love. For the first time I knew that it had been inside me organically (when I removed my trauma) all along.
Now, as a Thriver, I have a deep unshakable sense of inner love and peace that just IS. If I had not had to turn inwards to meet, release and reprogram those traumas that had held me in the illusion of needing “something” to be love and peace and if I had not come home to my True Self, I would never have experienced the love and peace I do now.
I know, on the other side of this, that you will also know exactly what I mean.
Number 3 – Connection To Your Life Mission
Before narcissistic abuse some of us had a sense (even if only vague) of what it was that we wanted to do as our mission in life. I find it’s incredibly common for the incredible, sensitive, loving Souls who get narcissistically abused to want to make the world a better place. They have incredible gifts and healing abilities to share with others!
With narcissistic people you experience their pathological envy and self-absorption. They are not the wind under your wings, or the rock to help you glow and Thrive in your life’s missions. Rather, the narcissist will deplete you, shame you, compete with you, sabotage you and make it all about themselves.
In fact, so many people in this community gave up on their hopes, dreams and wishes just to try to survive their narcissistic relationships and stop the abuse, as well as try to get some peace and decency from the narcissist by supporting him or her.
One of the most beautiful things about Thriver Narcissistic Recovery is that when you make yourself and your Soul your greatest mission, THEN your mission will arise for you.
So many people in this Community after letting go of and purging the narcissist out from their Inner Being, mind, life and real-life enmeshments ask, “How do I find and connect to my mission?” My answer to these people is always the same, “When you lose your trauma, and all the blocks and limits that were not allowing Source to flow through you as you, then your mission will just enter you … it can’t not do so!”
I promise you that there are countless Thrivers in this community who have flowed (and even exploded) forth into their passions and missions. Not only did the clearing out of the narcissist and the trauma allow them to align and start being their True Self, it generated the arising of inspirations, intuitions, opportunities, synchronicities, and miracles.
We have countless Thriver Stories in our community about these people now Being their life service and enjoying incredible joy and prosperity whilst doing it!
Number 4 – Real Durable Love And Security
Before narcissistic abuse we may have lost love, or never really achieved it. Life was likely to have been a journey where we hadn’t yet felt like we had been loved, or landed where we were meant to “be”.
If the narcissist was in your family – you knew instinctively that life was meant to be this … “I’m safe, loved and home” even though it wasn’t. If you met the narcissist as a love partner, they showed you the promise of all these things, yet during narcissistic abuse your heart was ripped to shreds.
We were heartbroken. Our lives became not just shaky, but devastated. You may have lost the security that you brought into the relationship, or co-generated in the relationship. Or maybe you were disabled by this person, so as to never have any prosperity.
Narcissistic relationships are incredibly expensive – financially and absolutely emotionally. So much so that you may feel like you will never risk such traumatic devastation again.
In Thriver Recovery, as a result of detaching from the narcissist and making healing all about self-partnering to release trauma and fill your Soul with Source, an incredible shift will occur. The focus of the narcissist being a key for love and security melts away. As well as any urge for them to be so.
Then, there is a powerful returning home to yourself with the confidence, solidness and fullness of how to connect to Source to be your own source of love and security.
I can’t tell you the safety, relief and joy that brings!
Without our previous dependency and painful traumas, and as a result of filling with Source, we discover the incredible aspects of being a True Self, with a True Source connection that does flourish and nourish us with safety, prosperity and love.
There is so much more where that comes from!
No longer are we going around devastated over our losses, scared and empty, trying to make crumbs out of cookies and coming up empty all over again.
I want you to know, with all of my heart, that after Thriver Healing and knowing that you are partnered with all of life, it becomes so much easier to get very clear about who and what will bring you more wholeness and prosperity. Coupled with great boundary healing and training, you will say “no” to who and what isn’t, and no longer feel ANY sense of loss of opportunity
Now, you will know that when you say a well-placed emotionally whole “no” you are connecting to all the potential and unlimited permutations of your “yes’s”. They start to pour into your life experience, and you have the confidence, strength and inner solidness to explore, ascertain, and confidently do your honest due diligence and then participate.
This changes the old “hoping and shooting in the dark” with REAL love and success, because of becoming the conscious creator of your True Self – meaning the growth into your highest potential – seeing, knowing and living as the Self that Source sees you as.
In Conclusion
I am very aware that what I am sharing with you is only an “idea” until you start living it and embody Thriver Healing.
It’s very much like wanting to know what it would be like to lose weight, feel healthy and energised before stepping into a gym and being on a healthy eating plan. Once you start down the path of Thriver Recovery, with its self-partnering and the commitment to loving and healing yourself, you will start to feel and see results.
Many people in this community who start healing with NARP, feel a difference even after their first Quanta Freedom Healing, and start seeing real results in a few weeks. Often their lives have dramatic changes and are even unrecognisable somewhere between 6 to 18 months.
This journey is not easy! It’s one of the most courageous things we will ever do – let go of the outer props and turn inwards to deeply love and heal yourself back to wholeness.
This is our coming home, and is the destination we always deeply wanted, without knowing it.
With every cell in my Being, I would not change a thing about my life and where it went with narcissistic abuse, because finally, and gloriously, this journey gave me back to myself.
If you offered me “everything” in the world to go back to my life even before narcissistic abuse, I would not accept the offer, because the joy, expansion and realisation of the four things that I shared with you today (as well as so much more) could have only happened through this spectacular journey.
From the deepest darkness, we mine our greatest gold.
Please know in your heart that this is possible for you. Maybe somewhere cellularly, deep inside, you feel the truth that there was a purpose for all of this.
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