The most
important relationship we will ever have in our life, is with our own self. The most important relationship we have in
our lives is with ourselves. And even though we are the only ones who are
present at every moment of our lives — from birth onward — this relationship
can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society
places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership,
even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until
we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship
to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing
ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with
whom we want to have a relationship. Perhaps at no other time in history has it
been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We
can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without
needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we
can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends,
business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our
needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom
we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered
within ourselves. As we move away from tradition and fall
into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there
are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a
partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to
be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our
relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we
open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being
willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel
deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and
choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those
relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being
alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship — the one
with our true selves. |
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