Share on bsky
View this post on Instagram
A Path of Surprises & Suffering:
I was scrolling through my phone on a Monday afternoon after a challenging workout at the gym, followed by a stimulating conversation over coffee with a friend. I felt relaxed and happy when the title of an email caught my eye: “AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT INVITATION.”
My book, Saying Yes to Life, had been chosen to be showcased by “an international collective of thousands of dedicated readers who prioritize stories of resilience, intuition and heart-centred living.”
The email went on to say how much they loved my book and would I be interested in being featured by them?
I hardly knew what to think.
Was this for real? If it was, how wonderful this would be for my book! I had published it in 2020, just as COVID began. This had put a stop to my plans for speaking tours and book signings.
Was this a renewed opportunity to have my book become known?
I replied to the email by asking, “I want to know if this is an authentic invitation, and not a scam. Please send me more information.” Immediately the reply came, “I am a real person.” More details about the organization followed.
As I pursued my relationship with Katharina, the moderator, I was excited and eager to have my book highlighted. I imagined the money that would come in. I was ready to be noticed as a successful author. Meanwhile, I sent them some money to cover costs. I chose not to send the full amount they asked for, and their response sounded gracious and understanding.
Everything seemed to be above board.
Until it didn’t.
The bank teller who wired the money sounded an alarm. The address and name of the business sounded suspicious. I chose to send the money regardless. The company kept asking for more funds. I refused and they seemed to accept my boundaries.
I was on a roller coaster of emotions all week. From euphoria to despair. From excitement to feeling angry and betrayed. From imagining making money to knowing that I had been sucked in to believing a lie. I was sleeping poorly. I wondered why this had to happen to me.
I finally told my adult children about my experience. Their response was lukewarm and they raised questions about the validity of this process. They had concerns about me being a target of fraud. My son warned me to not send them any more money.
Finally the day arrived for my book to be featured. I looked at the link and wondered what was wrong. There was no reputable website for the company that was sponsoring my book. The “Learn More” links were inactive. My dreams of becoming a wealthy author were dashed. I had been seduced by the desire to be seen as a successful author.
None of what Katharina had told me was true.
I was overcome with shame. What a fool I was. How could I be so stupid? Anger followed. I was mad at myself and my pride. I had allowed the promise of my book becoming famous to overtake my sense of caution and careful research into this seemingly attractive offer.
Then came anger at the organization that betrayed me. The compliments about my book rang hollow and the affirming emails were all a lie. They misrepresented an opportunity that I took to be valid. They were unethical and dishonest, with no empathy for someone like me who took them at face value.
I moved to sadness. I let go of the dream of my book being promoted around the world. Would anyone ever read it? I was embarrassed about my gullibility and willingness to be seduced by a fraud.
What did I do next?
With time this experience became a rich time of growth and healing for me. I realized that I needed support to overcome the emotional trauma I had gone through. I intuitively knew that keeping it a secret was not the answer.
I swallowed my pride and shared my story. I booked a call with my editor and book doula. Amanda was empathetic and kind. She reassured me that I was not stupid and that shaming myself was not helpful. She shared stories of the scams other authors have experienced, and she educated me on what to look for in the future. Having her normalize my situation was a gift of healing for me.
I let my family know what the outcome was and admitted that their concerns were valid. They were sorry I had to go through this, and they also celebrated my boundaries in not “investing” more money than I did.
I cried and felt all my emotions. I allowed myself to grieve the loss of a dream, even if it was a false promise. I walked along trails that shone with the bright green of spring, and released the tension of anger and disappointment. My journal was a safe place to vent vigorously. It became a deposit of all the messiness of the past few weeks.
I re-read my book, Saying Yes to Life: Embracing the Magic and Messiness of the Journey. I was struck by the synchronicity of the core message of my book, in light of what I was going through now. Inside, the reminders to trust my intuition, to take a step forward even if the path isn’t clear, and to focus on what I have control over were exactly what I needed to hear.
What have I learned?
That familiar phrase, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” rings true for me. I will be more discerning in the future with unexpected offers that promise rewards.
I will notice what my body tells me. If I feel tense or tight as I hear about something, I will get curious and check it out thoroughly. Trusting my intuition is a wise move.
I will be aware of the seduction of flattery and my desire to be witnessed. My emotions took over my objectivity and this led to problems.
I will be kind to myself as I share my story. I am human and I make mistakes. Shame leads to secrecy and more suffering. I want to shine a light on scams and frauds that are so prevalent right now. My desire is to help others stay safe as I am vulnerable and authentic.
My experience has parallels to other areas of life. Perhaps you have not been the victim of a scam, as I was. However, there may be times in your life where you have been betrayed, disappointed, or hurt emotionally. The trauma happens in either case.
I trust that my story will encourage you.
Ask for help from a trusted person in your life. Being willing to be vulnerable and courageous will be a gift to you and your loved ones. Moving through an overwhelming journey is possible. You can do it one step at a time, and with a sense of possibility and faith that you have the tools to thrive and overcome each challenge.
~
Read 6 comments and reply