Some people are born with the ability to
say no; others mumble their way through hours-long phone conversations, unable
to end the call for fear of offending the person on the other line. If you
belong to the latter category, you don't need writer and comedian Sarah
Cooper's "People-Pleaser's
Guide to Pleasing People," because you're already on track for a life
full of doing things you don't feel like doing — but you might love it anyway.
Welcome to the club — unless you don't want to join. Do you not want to? I
don't want to force you into anything. Whatever you decide is totally fine.
Cooper is a writer, comedian and
creator of TheCooperReview.com, a satirical
website focusing on office humour. "I am a recovering people-pleaser. I
realized I had a lot of codependent tendencies about a year ago," Cooper
tells Bustle. "I always thought the term 'codependent' meant that I was
dependent on other people, so I thought this couldn't be me because I'm so
independent! But then I did some research and realized it's not about depending
on people for what they can give you, it's about depending on people to like
you in order to be happy."
She recently addressed this realization
in a Cooper Review post. In seven
spot-on illustrations, "The People-Pleaser's Guide to Pleasing People"
lays out exactly what it takes to ensure everyone else's happiness. First order
of business: If you want to join the ranks of the people-pleasers, start
working on your poker face.
Cooper recommends maintaining a vaguely
beatific expression at all times, because anything less could come across as
a total downer. "This will make people feel good, as if you’re totally fine
with everything all the time," she explains on the Cooper Review.
Similarly, true people-pleasers never
have opinions on what they want to do — they're down for whatever, up for
anything, or whatever else Youths say these days. When two people-pleasers
collide, a consensus may never be reached.
TheCooperReview.com
Most importantly, prepare to forget your
own preferences until you no longer have a sense of self. When plans are being
made, it's time to bust out your best impression of a blank slate. "Your
suffering is the key to fitting in anywhere you want to go," Cooper
writes.
TheCooperReview.com
When asked about the source of her
inspiration, Cooper writes that she examines her own life. "My only
formula [when writing for the Cooper Review] is honesty. I try to stay as close
to the truth as possible then go from there," she explains. "So I
start with a real struggle I have — like always putting on a happy face — and
then exaggerate it to make it funny."
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