Aging

"You just wake up one morning and you got it!" Moms Mabley

I am so busy living I do not think about getting old. I am so grateful in my recovery from alcoholism that tomorrow, the future, and age are secondary. In my sickness, I was always living in the future: What will tomorrow bring? Will I die crippled, lonely, and afraid? My projections into the future produced emotional pain. Today I do not need to do this. I welcome age because I bring into it the joy and experience of my sobriety. My spiritual program reminds me to be grateful for my life, and this includes the inevitability of aging.

Lord, as I grow in age,may I also grow in wisdom and tolerance.

Pisces: Find Your Joy Right Now, with a Little Digging (MB)

By Monica Berg 

It’s the Hebrew month of Adar, the twelfth and last month of the lunar calendar falling under the zodiac sign of Pisces. Kabbalists teach that this month is a prime opportunity to draw down joy and happiness from the Supernal world, which offers an infinite well of joy, not only for the four weeks under Pisces, but the entire year. We are all meant to be fulfilled and happy, the Creator’s desire is not for us to feel lack or sadness. So, if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, tap into the energy of Pisces.

Rav Brandwein explains that the moment we can know and live with the consciousness that true happiness is a gift from the Creator, and that that gift comes by way of changing ourselves, this is the moment when we can maintain that level of joy in our lives no matter how difficult the situation. Every situation is, in fact, an opportunity to change and therefore to find everlasting joy and fulfillment.

Since I don’t personally know anyone who feels joy and fulfillment every moment of the day, here are 3 tools to help you bring more happiness into your life.

#1 Emotional archeology

This begins with a little Emotions: 101. Our emotions are our internal GPS. They let us know when we are in line with our potential – when we are feeling peaceful, accomplished, or determined – and when we are not – when we are sad, angry, frustrated. This is why we welcome and hope for the ‘good’ feelings and we try to avoid the ‘bad’ ones at all costs. Our emotions are with us every step of our lives and inform every one of our experiences. Without them, the forward motion of our lives would come to a screeching halt, we would find it difficult to even make the simplest decision.

In short, we need our emotions. The good, the bad, and every single one in between. However, the challenge in a month like Pisces is that it becomes easy to overly identify with them. Emotions are data, not facts. They are a way that we can assess certain situations, like taking note of how we feel around certain people, not how others make us feel (because nobody can make us feel anything). Taking a chance to still yourself, mind and emotion, can help you to gain a deeper understanding of what your thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you.

Let’s get scientific. How do you feel right now? Identify what brings you happiness, frustration, joy, anxiety – whatever you are feeling – and then identify what is behind that emotion. And then dig even deeper, what is behind that emotion? Like an archaeologist, sometimes you have to dig deep. I did this with a friend who was having a stressful week at work because of a series of trying experiences with a coworker. What did she feel? Angry. However, anger is always a response to something else. It doesn’t exist in and of itself. There is always a root. She was angry because she had bent over backwards, went out of her way, and beyond expectations for her coworker and this woman not only didn’t thank her, but demanded even more. Understandably maddening. But, under the anger, was frustration and the feeling that ‘no good deed goes unpunished’. Why is the belief that ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ so personal? Where does it come from?

It felt disrespectful, of both her time and her expertise. And digging deeper still, under all of that was rejection. She felt her co-worker was rejecting her contribution and talents. Once we got to this root, we were able to look at it objectively. When someone isn’t accepting what you’re offering, it’s not about you, it’s about them. It says more about this coworkers unwillingness to work with others than it does about her talents and contributions, which she knows are valuable. By the end of the exercise she was 50% less angry.

Once you get that top layer off and you find the first level of emotion, don’t stop, keep digging. Where is it coming from? You’ll get there. It’s not enough to just say “I always feel this way in x, y, z situation” or “Whenever I’m around Jim, I feel sad” because it probably doesn’t have anything to do with Jim. He is just a channel for an insight that you need. As Rav Brandwein taught, challenges are opportunities for change and it’s through change that we find our greatest joy.

#2 Be Present

It’s easy to find ourselves living in the past (where we replay gaffes, mistakes, missed opportunities) or the future (what if’s, anxiety, imagining a crazy dystopia or even utopia). But, what you’ll find is that right now, in this moment, is where we can attain true happiness. Happiness is remembered from our past, imagined in our future, but real only in this moment.

Thought into Action

A few ways to bring yourself back to the present:

• Close your eyes and focus your attention on smell. Smell is a powerful sense and is linked to our emotions. Take a few moments and let each scent inform you. What does it make you feel, think, see?
• Take 3-5 deep breaths. Our breathing signals our body when to relax and when to tighten. Count to five on an inhale and five on an exhale. Notice where your body is tense and soften that tension with each breath.
• Find a mantra that resonates for you and focus on that mantra from this relaxed space. A favorite of mine is “Right now is beautiful and perfect.”

On this day of your life

I believe God wants you to know...

...that remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.

H.L. Mencken said that, and he was right. Do not,

do not, "put off until tomorrow what you can do today."

And do not think that there is anything that you really want to do

that you cannot do today. There is no reason to wait. None.

Save the reasons that your Mind gives you, none of which are valid,

all of which you are just making up.

Quit it. Stop it. Stop the stopping. Start the starting.

Really. I mean, really. Because you know what?

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months,

months turn into years so fast that you will not know what happened.

But you will know what did not happen.

And you will feel true remorse.

So let's avoid that, shall we? Get going.

Go for it.

Living in All Realms (OM)

by Madisyn Taylor We can incorporate bear energy into our lives by remembering to take time to go inward to rest and rejuvenate in daily mini hibernations. When the image of a bear enters our consciousness, we may first notice their size, strength, and power, but beyond their physical attributes lay many traits that can guide us deeper into our experience of life. Their abilities as hunters and powerful protectors of their loved ones are well known, but you may also envision them on a quest for variety as they seek out the flavors and scents of the world, first fishing, then enjoying berries, or braving angry bees to indulge in honey. But their hidden strength lies in the bear's ability to travel between the physical and spiritual worlds, a talent that is recognized all around the world by those who live in harmony with nature. One way that bears access their inner world is during hibernation when they find a safe and womblike environment to let their physical bodies rest while their spirit travels. They travel through time, mentally digesting and learning from their experiences, but they also travel beyond the realm of mind and body into the dreamtime, where they are able to be rejuvenated by the source of all life. In this sacred space, they are connected to physical, mental, and spiritual realms all at once and can find the balance that they need to reenter the world. Polar bears don't enter a deep state of hibernation like other bears, but instead fluidly cross between realms on the physical plane as well the spiritual. Their reflective, translucent fur makes them difficult to see as they move across the frozen ice, blending into terrain covered with snow, making them seem like they are shimmering between dimensions. They move as easily in water as on land, agile and able in both worlds. They can remind us that we are one with our environment, inseparable from it. They teach us that while we can take time apart to connect with spirit, we can also carry that awareness with us as we move through life, making the spiritual indistinguishable from the material. By aligning ourselves with bear energy, we fully embody the best of all worlds.

How to Stop Letting our Emotions Hold us Hostage.

Via Danielle Benvenuto

Have you ever gone into a fit of rage and come out barely remembering what you said or how you got there in the first place?

Have you ever been seized by sheer panic while waiting for a response from your new crush, a state so powerful that sending a text message every hour on the hour, wondering aloud if something terrible happened, felt like a good idea?

Have you ever convinced yourself that you’re not good enough, cool enough, smart enough, pretty enough, woman enough, man enough, tall enough, skinny enough, (fill in the blank) enough and that the whole entire world must think so too?

We all have our triggers—certain experiences that take us to emotional places we prefer not to go.

For some, it’s feeling neglected. For others, it’s being criticized. The list is a long one. We all have our own set of life experiences that help to create a place where our emotions can get the best of us. I have dealt with a fair share of my own and because my line of work is in healing, I witness it every day and in many different forms.

So how exactly do we get held hostage by our emotional states? And what can we do to find our way back to solid ground, where we can see things from a clearer perspective?

Here are two fundamental ways we allow our emotions to get the best of us and how the power of mindfulness techniques can help. They not only help to ground us when we’re losing our grip on reality, but also foster a more solid foundation so that, over time, we can catch ourselves before we slip down into that much-dreaded but familiar rabbit hole of emotion.

Two things that contribute to emotion overload:

We go on the chase.

The moment we start chasing a train of thought or emotion, we begin to hand our power over to it. We do this when we judge, obsess, and over-analyze.

For example: You are feeling anxious because you have an important job interview. You begin the “chase” by thinking: I’m probably not going to do well on this interview. This thought causes anxiety and uncomfortable sensations in your body. In response to the anxiety, more thoughts occur: I bet normal people don’t feel this way. I’m such a mess. Why do I feel weird? I need a drink. Why am I such an anxious person? Which contributes to even more anxiety: I’m going to completely bomb this interview. I must get rid of this anxiety right now…but, wait, I have no clue how to do that either. I must be a failure at everything!

Instead of giving the anxiety-provoking thoughts and feelings space to breathe and make their way through uninterrupted, they get amplified by a judgmental attitude similar to the above and flare up like an out-of-control fire. One of things we don’t want to happen while in the midst trying to put out that fire is for massive gusts of wind to pass through.

Imagine this fire as an emotional state you are prone to experiencing and a strong, forceful wind as the judgmental stance you typically take about this particular emotional state. We make ourselves feel worse by fanning our emotional flames, and more importantly, we leave no room for our feelings to naturally die down with time, which, by the way, is what emotions typically do if given the chance!

If we don’t create space, we also don’t allow room for reason or intuition to emerge to help with whatever we’re experiencing.

The mindful alternative:

Mindfulness asks us to take a curious, open, and non-judgmental stance to all that passes through our minds. For example, say: I think that I am not good at job interviews and this is causing me to feel anxious. Or: Right now, I am experiencing anxiety. It’s important to not make meaning out of the feeling or have it be a reflection of your self-worth or the current reality.

Instead, observe it by saying something like: “I must be a failure” is a thought that is passing through my mind. I’m feeling like a mess, but this doesn’t mean I am a mess. It can be helpful while making these statements to hold your heart. Doing this sends the communication that you are here for yourself while sending loving energy through your hands. This reminds me of Thich Nhat Hanh’s approach to difficult feelings, in which he advises us to say, “Anxiety, I am here for you.” Replace anxiety with whatever emotion you are experiencing that you want to fight or judge.

Another approach is to imagine the thought as a cloud passing through the sky. The sky is your essence, pure and untainted by the self-defeating narratives you make up about yourself, and feelings and thoughts are the weather (a cloud, a snowstorm, rain), which is always subject to change. Watch the thoughts and feelings as phenomenon passing through you, instead of being you.

It can be helpful to  find an anchor back to the present moment—using your breath or the sensation of your feet touching the floor—when you find yourself drifting away.

We Give The Silent Treatment.

The second mode we engage in is denying our thoughts and feelings their right to exist. Repressing thoughts and feelings, however, only makes them fight more adamantly for self-expression.

Looking through a scientific lens, feelings are energy, and since energy can’t be destroyed, the energy that comprises the feeling will find a form of expression regardless of our attempts to block it. In my personal and professional experience, this usually occurs through an experience that feels overwhelming and often completely alien. Depression or ongoing panic attacks—with no identifiable trigger or psychosomatic symptoms that have no medical diagnosis—may emerge.

We typically repress our feelings because we were taught through our various life experiences that it isn’t safe to have them. If anger is not an acceptable emotion to have, you will have belief systems in place that check the emergence of an angry feeling. However, eventually this system fails.

For example, you are angry because you find yourself more often than not taking care of other peoples’ needs before your own. You don’t assert yourself when you need to, and you ignore the anger you feel brewing at being taken advantage of. You question whether or not you have the right to get what you need. You’ve been doing this for years, thanks to an upbringing where self-sacrifice was the way you were taught to give and receive love. Alas, you find yourself in a fit of rage saying something hurtful to someone, barely remembering what you said, and then feeling guilty for losing control.

The mindful alternative:

Give yourself permission to have your feelings by honoring them as they arise: “I feel anger and l will take care of this feeling by letting it unfold and, if it helps, understanding what it is asking of me or trying to tell me.” Talk out the feeling with a friend or a therapist. Often, we don’t always know what we are feeling and by voicing it to another, insights about ourselves begin to take shape.

If a feeling doesn’t feel safe to express, start by journaling about it or noticing where it resides in your body. Walking or running is also helpful, especially since physical activity can help release emotional energy being stored in the body. This approach is particularly helpful when intense emotions are passing through and sitting with them feels nearly impossible. While moving your body, practice the same non-judgmental and open attitude I mentioned earlier with whatever emotional state is moving through you.

~

As you can see, the vicious cycle of being emotionally held hostage ensues in either mode.

If we switch to a mindful approach, where we observe our thoughts and feelings rather than chase or ignore them, we create a space to see how things truly are, instead of how our limited egos and the narratives we have been telling ourselves make them out to be.

This space we create becomes an anchor and with time, this space becomes a solid structure within ourselves—a home within our own bodies—where we can enter into a positive and more caring relationship with ourselves.

~

Author: Danielle Benvenuto

How to Stop Sucking the Joy out of our Creativity.

Via Renee Dubeau

Sometimes, I want to be a full-time writer so badly, it makes me crazy.

Not just a little, grassroots, hippie blogger. A legit, published author. With book tours and speaking engagements, and no more corporate enslavement. I want all the freedom of the nomadic artist’s life I’ve imagined so perfectly.

If Buddha were here today, he would tell me that my attachment to these desires is likely my biggest obstacle, and certainly, the source of much self-created suffering.

Why? Because I get so focused on not having exactly the life I want right now, it stifles my creativity. Nothing gives me writer’s block quicker than getting focused on money, numbers, web traffic, and the endless time and energy drain that comes from fighting against my corporate job.

Sometimes, I get so caught up in my perceived struggle, I forget why I started writing in the first place.

I did it because it was fun.

I did it to figure myself out, to talk myself through the challenges in my life, to heal from my deepest wounds. Sure, I did it to share my story and connect with others. But, mostly—I did it for my own entertainment and catharsis.

My first actual writing project was a ridiculous blog based on my crazy family. I lovingly named it Dysfunction Diaries. It was vulgar, irreverent, and sometimes hilarious. Writing humor was a way to gently dip my toe into the blogosphere. People really connected with it, I think, because the stories were fun, and the voice was authentically mine.

I’ll never forget when I launched my silly little blog. I shared a link on social media, inviting friends to have a look. Someone commented, “This might be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.” I responded, “Maybe… or I might be onto something genius.”

That was almost 10 years ago.

Writing that blog helped me find my voice as an artist. It helped me discover that I have a story in my heart. It helped me open up in a way I never had before, and address parts of my life I couldn’t have without an inspired flow of words.

Writing that silly little blog showed me that I am a writer—not because I was wildly popular, or rich and famous, or even especially productive. I am a writer simply because I like writing. That’s it. Easy. A writer just writes.

As I grew, my work evolved with me. Soon, I left humor behind and started diving into the heavy sh*t. I started writing about all the sh*t you’re not supposed to talk about in polite company, like politics, religion, suicide, mental illness, surviving sexual abuse, divorce, and addiction.

As my work became more serious, I started taking myself more seriously. Too seriously, sometimes.

What happened next was cognitive dissonance so intense it was almost crippling. I felt like the only way I would ever be happy another day of my life was to make writing a full-time endeavor. This made me get even more serious. I abandoned my silly little blog and started writing serious stuff all the time—stuff I thought would make me feel more, well, writerly.

I got so focused on making the next step happen, I couldn’t enjoy creating just for the sake of being creative. I put so much pressure on myself to be productive, I stopped having fun. I got so focused on my fear that this might just be a crazy dream that I’ll never see to fruition, I couldn’t be present. And when we’re not present, getting inspired is pretty difficult.

Then, my writing started to feel like work.

That’s when I started feeling burnt out.

Putting so much pressure on myself cut off the natural, beautiful creative flow that happens when we’re just in the moment, doing what we do. That future focus and all the anxiety it brings was the most counterproductive part of my days.

I finally realized that by trying to force that next step to come, I had managed to suck the joy right out of the thing I love the most.

As it turns out, it’s entirely possible for me to write all kinds of things. Abandoning my roots didn’t make me any more of a writer than I’d ever been when I only wrote silly stuff. The less seriously I take myself and my work, the more inspired and present I feel.

And sure, I love writing about important issues. I love knowing that my story helps other people. I love feeling like my words make a difference in the world. But, at the end of the day, I have to write for me. I have to talk about the things that inspire me. I have to use my voice in a way that feels authentic and good for me. And, for God’s sake—I need to make sure I’m still having fun!

Isn’t that the goal of the nomadic, artist’s life I imagine? To be free and have fun?

Isn’t that everyone’s goal in life?

Our creative pursuits don’t have to become an affliction that we suffer from. They can be the joyful outlet for all kinds of expression. We can be completely obsessed if we need to be, but we don’t have to be miserable, exhausted, drunk, poor, or crazy. And, we definitely don’t have to take ourselves so seriously that our creative projects begin to feel burdensome.

A writer writes. A painter paints. A dancer dances. That’s it. We don’t have to sell anything, or win any awards, or achieve anything at all. We just have to do what we love as well and as often as we can. I’m convinced that the rest just works itself out though supreme cosmic magic when the time is right. And the only way to know when that time comes is to be absolutely present and loving what we do.

Author: Renee Dubeau

The Power of Vulnerability: Brene Brown’s TED Talk May be the Breakthrough You’ve Been Looking For.

Via Monika Carless

 “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.” ~ Brené Brown.

~

Vulnerability: the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

Vulnerability is something that has become popular to talk about. We throw the word around the way we do consciousness, meditation, tantra—catch phrases loaded with meaning. Vulnerability is one of my favorite subjects, and I explore it often when writing about relationships.

But are we really familiar with what it means to be vulnerable? Are we practicing it, or even examining the places in our lives where vulnerability can find root and blossom?

Sometimes we dance around a philosophy or a subject and understand it on an intellectual level, but not actually live it. The problem with knowing it is that, sometimes, we are fooled into thinking we are embodying it. It can feel real, without being real.

I’ve been examining myself on this subject and resonate with Brene Brown’s story of an emotional breakdown—something many women and men can relate to after spending years protecting themselves from vulnerability. Brown’s belief is that we do this using three mechanisms: Perfectionism, numbing (anything to quiet our true feelings, as in addictions), and foreboding joy (the dread that kills happiness)

Sometime in our journey into adulthood, we are infected with an idea that we must create a certain life, follow certain rules, be a certain person, and ignoring the pleas of our soul to experience life authentically and through vulnerability, we soldier on pleasing others and living up to society’s expectations.

The mid-life crisis is the point where we can no longer wear the masks we have put on in order to create peace in other people’s lives, ignoring our own needs.

It bears saying that we have been trained from infancy to hide our natural expression. Have you noticed that as soon as a baby makes a sound, parents feel obligated to shush them? You must not be heard, you must be quiet or the others will become upset with your presence here.

And so it goes, until we explode from holding it all in.

At first glance, vulnerability seems like a dangerous state, but really, the lack of it is what leaves us far more exposed.

“I’ve learned that men and women who are living wholehearted lives really allow themselves to soften into joy and happiness. They allow themselves to experience it.” ~ Brené Brown.

Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on vulnerability is a touch point with reality for the millions who have watched it since 2010. See for yourself. I think you will find her insights liberating.

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Author: Monika Carless

The Quote

Ambition

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want in life is this: decide what you want." Ben Stein

For many years I thought that ambition was a negative emotion, something to avoid. I had confused ambition with arrogance.Today we understand that an arrogant person is somebody who would climb the ladder to success by standing on and crushing the lives of others. Today I understand that ambition is a powerful spiritual attribute that enables achievement. Mother Teresa trusted in God, but she also had ambition. Mahatma Gandhi loved India but also had ambition. Ambition is a necessary step in our dance in God. I want people to respect the religion and culture of other people. I want people to respect the difference that is essential to God's creation. I'm ambitious to get this message across.

My Say Yes to Your Spirit involves ambition.

On this day of your life

I believe God wants you to know...

...that the birth of God's son is celebrated today.

Yes, I know, you think that Christmas is over. The day

has passed. But the birth of God's son--and God's

daughter--is celebrated every day. For every day on

which a child is born, God's Child is born.

You and I are as much God's Begotten as Jesus. And

Jesus would be the first person to tell you that. Indeed,

he was a person who told us that.

The Christ is born in all of us this day, and these are glad

tidings of comfort and joy.

Terumah: The Importance of Feeding the Soul (KB)

Feeding the body is how we survive, but feeding our soul allows us to thrive. In the portion of Terumah, God instructs Moses: “Build unto me a Tabernacle, so that I can dwell within you.” In this story, there is a disagreement between Moses and Bezalel, the chief artisan of the Tabernacle, regarding how it should be constructed. Initially, Bezalel intends to build the structure just as one might a house. First you lay the foundation, then you put up the walls, the roof, and finally you place everything inside. Seems to make sense! Moses disagrees, saying first we must establish what is inside, and then we shall raise the walls around it. It’s an odd conversation to find in the Bible, but of course we know that there is nothing in Holy Scripture that does not contain profound depths of wisdom. With these instructions to Bezalel, Moses is teaching us a great secret: When it comes to matters of the spirit, it is what’s on the inside that comes first, and matters most.   Statistic Brain did a study in January 2017, polling thousands of individuals on their New Year’s resolutions. At 21%, the largest majority by far resolved to eat healthier or lose weight. These are sound goals. After all, our body is a gift from the Creator, and as such it is important that we take care of it. Our soul too is a gift from the Creator, and though it is not as observable and needy as our body, it is the life force upon which the body runs and is worthy of being fed. Many students have come to me throughout the years and said, “Karen, I’m so busy. I lead a full life. I hardly have any free time as it is. Why invest my time and energy into spirituality?” It’s a good question, to which I would pose another: How can we be too busy for spirituality when without the spirit, we would have nothing to be busy with? Whether it is meditation, prayer, or a simple walk outdoors, we can always find at least a moment within the hectic nature of each day to care for our inner Light. Sometimes there’s nothing more powerful than hitting the pause button just long enough to quiet our minds, open our hearts, and give thanks for all with which we have been blessed. Then, we can dive back into our routine refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to rise to our most compassionate, kindhearted and spirited selves. This is a wonderful week to start making our soul a priority. If you find it difficult to stop in the middle of your day, try getting up a little earlier to set aside a few moments for prayer or meditation before you walk out the door. For those who feel they already make enlightenment a priority, attempt to raise your own bar. If you read or scan the Zohar for 10 minutes a day, this week make it 15. The more we nurture ourselves spiritually, the more enjoyable our journey through this physical plane is bound to be. When the soul is fed, the body shines bright. With each person who places importance on their Light, the world becomes that much more radiant because of it. This week, make feeding the soul your true North. Wishing you a blessed week, Karen P.S. If you would like to engage with me you can find me on my Social Media!

Three Spiritual Teachers who Helped me Discover my Path.

Via Stephanie Mueller

Recently, I learned that when life becomes impossible and the passion we once felt in our career slips away, we must reevaluate the essence of who we are and our purpose in this world. 

In my bones, I knew the universe was telling me that I was about to end one part of my journey—even though I did not know what was to follow.

I found solace in the guiding words of our great spiritual teachers: Pema Chödrön, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Through their teachings, I learned how to tread patiently in the groundlessness of the unknown, until I was ready for the next step in my journey.

For 10 years, I stayed in a career that I believed was my soul’s calling: teaching.

By nature, I am drawn to helping people in need and standing up for individuals who are victims of social injustice. Teaching as a bilingual elementary school educator placed me directly in their world. I taught in high poverty urban schools and connected with families who were the most in need of support.

I have always considered teaching to be one of the most noble careers, as it reaches all our children—not only in helping develop their minds, but also their hearts. Soon I realized though, that each day teachers must possess a deeply-rooted passion to enter the classroom with a fresh mindset and the patience of an angel.

They must have incredibly thick skin, so that the trauma of one student’s world does not define their presence in the classroom. There is no rest for those who teach. Teachers are true heroes for our children, and they do it all in the hope of creating a more positive world.

There was a time I owned that passion for teaching; I believed that I could reach every child and change our world for the better. I marveled at the gains my students made over the course of the year, and my heartfelt tears always accompanied our goodbyes each June.

However, over the years, something in me was changing. My soul was whispering that something was missing.

The latest state requirements and new school initiatives absorbed the time I needed to dedicate to my students. I found myself spending hours writing student and professional learning goals when I should have been creating innovative and engaging lessons.

The stress mounted as weeks of our learning time was lost in assessing skills that I barely had time to teach. Time with my husband and our two-year-old daughter quickly drained away. Darkness often accompanied my drive home. Finally, when the universe spoke to me through my little girl’s tears and the words, “I miss you, Mommy,” I knew it was time for a change.

Last June, I walked out of the classroom, uncertain of what would be my next step.

For six months, I swam in anxiety and groundlessness. I was questioning everything, feeling lost, and reaching for anything that felt “secure” in this new foreign world.

The relief came when I learned to breathe and accept the moment in its reality, and listen to its guidance.

Our modern day spiritual leaders have blessed me with three teachings that have not only influenced my outlook on life, but also directed my soul’s journey.

It is okay to feel groundless; this is how we grow. Often what prevents us from taking a leap into the unknown is our own ego. Our fear of failure or lack of self-confidence holds us in a stagnant place in our self-development.

Pema Chödrön, an American Buddhist nun, shared the metaphor of our ego being a cocoon.

As she explains:

“We stay in our cocoon because we’re afraid—we’re afraid of our feelings and the reactions that life is going to trigger in us. We’re afraid of what might come at us.”  

But, in emerging from that cocoon into groundlessness, she goes on to share that:

“We don’t die; we don’t collapse. In fact, we feel profound relief and freedom.”

I learned that it is in this groundlessness that we grow spiritually and as individuals. If we can continue to have grace with ourselves and remain patient, we learn to be present in the moment rather than worrying about what is to come. We will be able to connect with our mind and the knowledge in our soul.

We learn to stay through meditation.

As I struggled to find peace in the restlessness of not knowing where my life was going, I turned to meditation. As a practicing Catholic, I often used the power of prayer when I was battling life’s latest storm.

I always found encouragement in prayer, but I did not necessarily find the guidance I needed. Then, in reflecting on the words of the American author, Deepak Chopra, I realized that it was time to stop talking and start listening.

 “Prayer is you speaking to God. Meditation is allowing the spirit to speak to you.” ~ Deepak Chopra

I learned that meditation forces us to drop the storyline. As a chronic overthinker, I have created a detailed story line for nearly every event in my life along with a who, a what, and a why. But, according to Pema Chödrön, when we meditate, “We pause, look out, and breathe. Suddenly, we slow down and there’s the world.”  

I began to see the world as it truly was and let go of the anxiety of what I thought it should be. I was once again able to hear my soul’s voice and let it guide me forward on my journey.

Change only comes through acceptance.

One of the greatest teachings I now carry with me was shared by the Archbishop Desmond Tutu in a conversation he had with his dear friend, His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

As Desmond Tutu explained:

“We are meant to live in joy. This does not mean that life will be easy or painless. It means that we can turn our faces to the wind and accept that this is the storm we must pass through. We cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.” 

I found his words to be incredibly powerful. For me to embark on a new direction in my journey, I needed to accept that my soul’s calling was not what I first expected or what others told me it should be. My duty was to let my soul speak its truth and trust in the journey ahead.

Change happened in its own time. When I internalized these teachings, I began to understand my purpose in life.

My passion for writing was suddenly renewed, and it once again gave meaning to the whispers of my heart.

I now saw my highly-sensitive emotions and empathy for others as a gift that could speak of the social injustices that plague our communities. It breathed sighs of the homeless I saw sleeping on frigid concrete sidewalks and of the hungry children who entered my classroom not having eaten since the afternoon before. It beat of families suffering the fire of gun violence and those desperately praying their loved ones would not be deported.

Through writing, my soul awakened a sense of urgency to revive our oneness in humanity and come together in peace. Through this experience, I have learned that life is constantly changing.

If we can become comfortable in the groundlessness and let go of our story lines, we will begin to fulfill our individual journeys.

Listening to the whispers of the universe and the insight of our souls, we will find our true purpose in this life.

Here are some helpful books:

Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears by Pema Chodron; Edited by Sandy Boucher
Shambala Publications Inc., Boulder, CO 2010

The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
Shambala Publications Inc., Boston, MA 2001

The Book of Joy by His Holiness the Dalai Lama; Archbishop Desmond Tutu; Douglas Abrams
Avery, New York, NY 2016

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Author: Stephanie Mueller