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“You get to meet your parasites!”
This statement, from a parent at my kids school, put me off colonics (colon cleansing) for a long time.
It’s one thing to live in a hyped-up spiritual town like Ubud, Bali, but when you constantly hear about one’s “oneness” with their poop, it can get to be a bit much.
Recently, I went out for dinner with yogi Danny Paradise, and the first thing he said when he sat down was, “No poop conversation.” Only if you live in Bali, do you get this bold statement. He was not joking—it is a boundary that has to be set before eating.
You look at a person differently when they talk about their poop so much. Hang around any nurses, doctors, gut experts, or nutritionists, and the conversation is always going to get dirty.
One meditation guru put it to me simply when I started complaining about the obsession with poop. He said that for those of us who have no problem going to the bathroom, it is no big deal. But, imagine never being able to “go,” then finally having colonics and finally having relief?
Well, okay then—cleanse your heart out.
Ubud is the hub for colonics. So when a friend offered me three passes to a wellness clinic known for these procedures, I accepted the challenge. I’ve recommend colonics to many of my clients suffering trauma and gut issues—so, how can I preach about something I have never experienced personally?
The only thing stopping me at this point was fear.
To be blunt, I have no objections to things up my bum. I am not an “exit only” kind of girl. But the thought of being in a clinic—watching my poop flush down a sink, alongside an audience—was just too out of my comfort zone. Also, I did not want to “meet my parasites.” No thank you.
But, after a grueling two months in all aspects of my life and eventual heart breakdown, I thought, “What the heck, why stop here? Let’s go the whole way on this healing journey.”
The gut is connected to the brain. Any emotional trauma is often related to symptoms in our gut. A colonics series is, in fact, one of the best things you can do after a breakup. You are clearing emotional blockages from your large intestine.
According to gut Guru Amanda Brockett, the gut and the brain are connected by the vagus nerve:
“There are more neurons in the gut firing to the brain, than the brain to the gut…this also says a lot about why we should always trust our guts! Learn to listen to your gut instinct.
So much emotional baggage gets suppressed in our bodies, and our gut stores a lot of it; colonics are a strong detox, so with that, emotions come up too that are toxic and need to be released.”
(Side note, I was interviewing her about the gut, while she was having a colonic treatment.)
So, for those of you interested in what this journey entails, I am happy to share.
However, if you are not into detailed conversation about poop, please look away.
>> One colonics treatment takes about an hour.
>> The treatment begins with the nurse checking for hemorrhoids.
>> The tube is much larger than I’d imagined, so be prepared for this. It is inserted via a metal speculum that can give you a bit of a shock, as it is cold.
>> You’ll want to go to a registered nurse for colonics or to someone reputable. You don’t just want anyone poking around down there; tears in the lining have been known to happen, so someone with a medical background is essential.
>> Fast the morning of the procedure, if you can. Or, if you have to eat food, cease two hours before your procedure.
>> Colonics practitioners are really into poop. They may make comments on the food they see coming out of your colon—the color and such. They get excited about gas bubbles as well.
>> You will be offered a mirror to watch what is coming down the pipeline. Round one, I refused; round two, I was curious; round three, I was not fussed. It’s a personal choice.
>> The first time is the most challenging mentally. I did not enjoy my first colonics at all. However, the second time, I fell asleep—I was that relaxed! And, the third time, my body really did not want to let go of my emotions or poop—and it was a two-and-a-half-hour treatment.
>> When your large intestine is pumped with water, it reminds me of “bearing down,” which happens during birth when you arrive at the pushing stage. For some women, childbirth can be traumatic, and it took me back to that place. Just be prepared for this.
>> I was ungrounded after the procedure. Best to get a cab or have someone collect you from the clinic. Peppermint oil for the feet and grounding meditations should help you come down—or, perhaps, a nice Epsom salt bath, if you have access to a bathtub.
>> Directly after colonics, you need to drink coconut probiotics. You can also take probiotics for maintaining gut health after your treatments.
>> Try not to consume any solids for the rest of the day after colonics. Soups or mashed vegetables are okay, but no salads or roughage. Juice is fine.
>> The emotional release is huge. You may cry a lot after the procedure, as you will feel cleared of negative emotions. This, I was not prepared for. You really are clearing the past from all areas of your life.
>> I did not have any parasites—but apparently, when you do, this is really cool to witness.
You can, in fact, meet your parasites!
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Relephant:
Date a Girl Who Poops.
Oh, Poop—How to Deal with Stinky Situations.
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Author: Emily McBurnie
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