CoDA Weekly Reading

That clever phrase in the title caught my eye. It was from a recent Weekly Reading and it was followed by a reference to Group Conscience, a part of CoDA I am particularly grateful for.

Even with meetings and sponsors, my recovery is mostly interior, meeting attitude challenges one by one. The quiet satisfaction of that interior growth is surely gratifying but it doesn't seem enough for me. I need to give it away, somehow, to engage it with others. That is how the Twelfth Step was discovered I have heard; success began only when service was added to the recovery program.

So I do service work. Sometimes I have to push myself to get on with it, but, as with writing this piece for the Weekly Readings, once I get going, I do enjoy myself.

That is me alone, though; I need interaction. My enjoyment writing this piece comes from imagining you reading it, a definite help.

It is when I share the job immediately with others that I am most enlivened. I say what I think. Others say what they think. We craft around the edges; sometimes we pitch it all and start anew. But it becomes as if we are of one mind, not many, with multiple inputs beyond what any of us alone might offer. And when we are done the result can be wisdom, for that moment in time at least—more than any of us could achieve on our own. And for me, great gratitude.

What has changed is my attitude. Now, "winning" is a defeat for me. Now I have to have unity: "Personal recovery depends upon CoDA unity." I cannot fully enjoy my recovery except in the midst of the ongoing recovery of others. And I most fully experience that in shared activity. My inside needs that outside as much as that outside needs my inside.

JB – 1/11/19