Learning to care for ourselves and prioritize our needs is a journey that can take many shapes.
It often starts with doing things that feel good and evolves into making better choices. Choices that aren’t always easy to act on, but provide us with benefits in the long run.
There are often many barriers to making these kinds of choices. We may find that we make changes with ease initially, and then have a hard time sticking to them in the long run. So, what gives?
In musing on what it is that has helped me sustain the greatest success with shifting from improving my self-care routine to turning these changes into an actual lifestyle, I’ve discovered something profound.
Self-care in isolation can never meet all of our needs. No amount of self-love or behavior change can compare to what is possible with a community of support behind us. The missing element from most of our self-care routines is a community of like-minded souls on a similar path.
Why? Community shows us what’s possible. Riding the tide of inspiration from others, we are able to dissolve our perceived barriers and expand beyond the limited lens of our perceptions. Like magic, previous blocks can simply lift away, and rapid shifts become possible.
Isolated, we feel broken and alone, and anxiously scramble to glue ourselves back together again. Community reflects our innate wholeness, goodness, gifts, flaws, and shadows in ways we couldn’t see before. This allows for rapid processing and expansion.
In community, we also find our worth, for in acknowledging its inherent nature in others, we must acknowledge our own. We mirror one another and are mirrored into growth of proportions simply not seen when alone.
In the mirror of a good community, we can reconnect to the flow of life itself. We emerge from the painful isolation of our inner struggle and connect to the struggle of others. This can snap us back into reality and help us see that we are not alone, that we never were.
While self-care is wonderful, sometimes it can take us too deeply within ourselves and leave us feeling overwhelmed. In community, the illusion of separation shatters, and we emerge, remembering our true place in the world is part of a collective whole.
In the acts of being witnessed, and witnessing others, we learn to see ourselves more clearly. In a space of non-judgment, we can learn to let go of those parts of ourselves we no longer wish to carry, and to nurture those which we cherish.
In community, we come together and inspire one another. This inspiration is contagious and lifts us up to make and sustain healthy changes in our life. Changes that once felt impossible or were previously difficult to sustain. Rapid healing and growth are possible in ways that simply don’t happen on our own.
In like-minded community, we can break away from the people in our lives who are threatened by our new changes and how we are prioritizing ourselves. No longer reliant on the people we use to hold ourselves back, enormous growth becomes possible.
Most importantly, in sacred community we are able to experience new perspectives outside of the ones our early caregivers handed down to us. This can rapidly shift whole belief systems and unhealthy mindsets that were keeping us “stuck.” Sometimes in the blink of an insight.
And it’s not all about how community can help us, in helping lift up another who is struggling on their path, but we can give purpose and meaning to our own suffering and lighten one another’s load. While it’s wonderful to learn how to prioritize ourselves, what kind of world are we creating if we don’t connect with one another in our growth?
If you are struggling with making healthy changes in your life, find a like-minded community of support and try again. Like me, you may find that you are able to move mountains of barriers and step into a vibrant, healthy life.
Not only that, but you help to lift the whole world around you, too.
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AUTHOR: JANELLE BROWN
IMAGE: DAVID SWIFT / FLICKR
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