Tuesday, 30 November 2021

Nobility

 


When a man has pity on all living creatures, then only is he noble. -Gautama Buddha

I saw a man on the freeway putting himself at risk to save a runaway dog. Occasionally, I see a lady in my local park feeding the ducks. When I'm at the airport I occasionally observe a blind person being helped by a guide dog. Love, concern, and trust are all aspects of Say Yes to Your Spirit. And none of this is complicated. The above stories that include animals are all everyday experiences. None of them are complicated theory. Rather they represent feelings. They are an emotional response to life. Nobility is demonstrating love as a response to the many happenings in our life. It is the love dance. - Leo Booth

Today I am able to appreciate the creatures who share our planet.

On this day of your life

 

I believe God wants you to know ...

 

... that the truth lies within you—as does all the power

you will ever need to change the direction of your life

and the course of human history.

 

Wow. Can you imagine that? All the power you will

ever need to change your life...and the course of

human history.

 

And you may tap that power whenever you wish.

Today, if you choose. Indeed, you tapped it just now

in the sending to yourself of this message...

A Self-Healing Day (OM)

 


 

A beautiful gift to yourself, is a day of healing and nourishing just for you.


Human beings carry within themselves the seed of healing. Our choices affect us more than we realize, and it is because of this that we tend to place responsibility for our wellness in the hands of others. As beneficial as regular visits to a healer can be, we have the power to heal ourselves at will. When we dedicate a day to the pursuit of wellness, we can relax and renew ourselves in a nourishing and comfortable environment. A sincere desire to open ourselves to the highest realities of our physical and spiritual selves is the key to self-healing so that healing energy can flow into us unimpeded. 

A self-healing day should address the vital needs of the self as a whole while directing healing energy where it is needed most. Solitude is an important part of the process as is the ability to take refuge in a space that is both beautiful and peaceful. Start your healing day by setting the intention that you are dedicating this time to healing yourself. Flowers, candlelight, incense, and music can guide our focus toward a more tranquil state. For a more intense session, try listening to music through headphones since tuning out can help you tune in. It is up to us to decide what we need to do to cultivate wellness in our lives. For some, it may be time spent in reflection. Others will turn to calming activities that help them remember their purpose, such as journal writing, being in nature, or studying. Our healing may even take a more direct form as we use color, sound, or crystals to balance and ground ourselves. 

Ultimately, your wholesome intentions transform what might otherwise be a simple day of rest into a day of healing. Grant yourself permission to relax and savor the stillness. If you attune yourself to the calm around you, worldly distractions will be minimized and the unadulterated flow of your consciousness will reestablish itself in the forefront of your mind. The needs of the body, the heart, and the soul will then be revealed to you, empowering you to tap into the essential healing energy of the universe. The mechanism you use to channel this energy will be dependent on your shifting requirements, so each day of healing you enjoy will be unique. All will replenish you, however, allowing you to recreate yourself in a perfect image of health.  

6 Signs You May Be A Target For Narcissists

 Today with this article I want you to know a very powerful truth – narcissists can’t hook in and take down just anyone.

They go after specific people with particular susceptibilities. I promise you that I know this to be true after working with tens of thousands of people.

In this article I’m going to share with you the top 6 susceptibilities that narcissists actively identify within you, when they are meeting you, to work out if you are a target worth ensnaring, abusing and inevitably sucking the Soul out of.

The information in this article could save you years of heartache and pain, because if you know what these susceptibilities are you’ll be able to work on them – and not fall for a toxic abuser that will make your life a living hell ever again.

Okay, so how do you get empowered and inoculated against narcissists?

It’s not by learning about them. It truly is about recognising what it is about you that has made you susceptible to a narcissist so you can heal, tighten and toughen these things up!

That’s what the Thriver Recovery work is all about, so that not only do you get released from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, but also Thrive in your new life moving forward.

When I share these top 6 susceptibilities with you, I know that you will understand how narcissistic abuse happens to wonderful, good people who were usually indoctrinated into being the way they have been.

Today, these truths will help set you free.

Let’s get going!

 

Number 1 – You Find It Difficult To Speak Up And Set Boundaries

Most of us were not taught healthy assertion. We were not trained to be clear about our own established healthy values, truths and choices. Rather we were taught to “go along to get along”, to “keep the peace” and not hurt other people’s feelings.

This meant even when things felt “wrong” or “not true” or “not healthy” we may have not spoken up because we didn’t want to confront someone.

Absolutely, we have had the fears of CRAP (criticism, rejection, abandonment and punishment) if we expressed our own opinion. This is especially true with the people who we want to love us, be with us and grant us love, approval, security or even survival. As little people we may have discovered that it was easier to please others, and that by doing so it was much safer.

This I know with all of my heart, and have experienced it personally, as well as helping people worldwide heal from these self-limitations. Our relationships are not formed by “treating others how we wish to be treated ourselves”, they are created from treating ourselves with love, value and respect and speaking up, saying “NO” and not staying attached to people who don’t have our best interests at heart.

Narcissists are experts at identifying people who as yet, (which used to be me and so many of us) don’t know how to disagree with people, and choose ourselves, even if it means losing people.

For those of you who are Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program Members, I am such a fan of Module 2 work in NARP to establish your own solid sense of self, so that you are no longer agreeing with someone to be loved. Also, Module 6 is powerful to help you establish boundaries, and Module 8 to help you get past the fear of the repercussions of what people may do when you assert yourself.

 

Number 2 – You Have Unresolved And Unhealed Inner Trauma

In a world focused on trying to address symptoms rather than truly helping us heal at our core, many people who have had painful childhoods and relationships are carrying unresolved trauma within.

Arguably, in a deeply often unconscious world where healthy inner programming was never learned or promoted – this is incredibly common! It relates 100% to all of us here who have been narcissistically abused!

As top neuroscientists now know – it isn’t what we “think” that creates our future. It is how we FEEL. If we have the inner somatic emotional programming of, “the people I love hurt me, invalidate me, replace me, abuse me or even annihilate me” (as examples) then these are exactly the people we continue to attract, be attracted to and make excuses for. It is familiar.

More than this it is an energetic match with these strong subconscious programs that are fuelled by e-motion (energy in motion, namely how we FEEL about certain topics in our life) that keeps us replaying the same patterns with the same types of people over and over again.

In the case of narcissists, they are very in tune with sniffing out people with unhealed wounds to capture them as new supply. It is easy for them. As soon as you tell them what still hurts or what is missing, the narcissist will tell you how they are not this person and how they are not capable of such things.

This is done with such feigned sincerity that you believe it. You feel like you have won the jackpot – here is the perfect kind lover or an incredible business opportunity, the next best friend, the kind, caring neighbour, the miracle therapist, the fantastic tradesperson …

This is the narcissistic con.

You think all of your dreams have come true, but instead your nightmares are about to begin. Meaning – the same unhealed wounds will present and get ripped open all over again.

Look back over your life, and if you are honest, you will be able to pinpoint and realise that this is exactly true.

The solution to this is heal up these unhealed parts and then this unhealed trauma within, that was matching you up with “more of the same”, will no longer exist.

Your life is not being generated from your mind, it is unfolding from the subconscious engine, deep within you, this is why the inner work is so necessary!

As far as my recommendation for NARP Modules go, the entire NARP Program in its 10 Module sequence is the healing and antidote to heal from your present and previous traumas, all the way back through your Soul’s timeline!

 

Number 3 – Your Integrity Level Is High And You Are Dismayed If Questioned About It

One of the most powerful ways that you can be gaslighted by a narcissist is by this person telling you that you are a bad person – thoughtless, selfish, and don’t care about them or others.
Then you will be hooked in trying to prove to this person that you are decent and a good person.

The narcissist keeps accusing you of bad things (what they are doing themselves) and you are distracted from their shocking deeds and behaviour whilst defending yourself.

The narcissist can also keep moving the goal posts, confusing you about what is expected from you and raising the bar to make you jump over more and more hoops to prove “you are a good person” to them.

They can also use imagined allies against you, making you doubt you own integrity who you are and what your rights are. The narcissist will campaign against you trying to make you believe that they have it right, and you have it wrong, and that the popular opinion is that you are the bad person if you don’t comply with their version of things.

What is the remedy to this? Having a strong sense of your Inner Being. YOU knowing who you are and not falling for other people’s versions of you. And, absolutely ceasing to be around people who don’t accept you as you accept you and try to project their own deceptions onto you.

NARP Module 4 heals the triggers of injustice of being wrongly accused, and helps bring you peace, regardless of what anyone thinks of you. Module 5 will release you from the need for closure (you will have achieved it deeply within) and the Goal Setting Module of, “I know myself to be an extension of Source”, and clearing all traumas and resistance will give you a powerful shift back deeply into your Soul’s centre.

 

Number 4 – You Are Incredibly Hard On Yourself

Many of us who are perfectionists and regularly scold ourselves for what we haven’t achieved, rather than loving and supporting ourselves for what we are, have been caught up in relationships with narcissists.
Why is this?

Because who we choose in our life is a match for the way we treat ourselves.

If you are your own worst critic, then you will naturally be attracted to people who could initially be “lovely” and “charming” (to hook you in) yet will morph into who they really are, people who love you at the level you have been loving yourself – conditionally.

You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

You are only acceptable if you do a) b) c) and d) and that is a bottomless pit and never ends.

They are never durably happy with you.

And … of course, you are simply never good enough, no matter how many pretzel shapes you try to twist yourself into.

If we are honest with ourselves (as was one of my biggest realisations about why I got caught up with narcissists), you know that if anyone had been treating you the way you speak to yourself, you could probably seek a protection order for constant abusive harassment!

I want you to know the following with all of my heart – you will never accept a level of love less than the way you love and treat yourself.

Let that sink in.

Can you now see how self-partnering, turning within and doing the inner work to heal the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship work you will ever do?

A very powerful NARP shift that you can do is by working with Module 1 or the Source Healing and Resolution Module with, “I am targeting the trauma in my body that causes me to be so hard on myself”. Clear all of this out until no more trauma remains. You will be amazed how much kinder and supportive you start becoming with your self-talk and self-treatment.

And, you will have no stomach for anyone else’s abuse anymore!

 

Number 5 – You Try To Fix And Change Others

You may have believed while you were stuck in your righteousness (as I did too) that it was your responsibility to point out to other people where they were going wrong, trying to change them so that you could have a happy life with them.

It’s easy to think we are doing the right thing by doing this – yet the truth is when you try to control people, who don’t want to change, you end up out of control.

Narcissist don’t have the desire to change. More than that, they don’t have the inner resources to be kind, caring, considerate, honest, and they don’t want to cooperate with teamwork and build towards solutions with you.

Narcissists regularly get involved with co-dependent people – lovely, giving, caring people who unfortunately try to change people outside of themselves in order to be safe, loved and happy.

Narcissists know that whilst you stay attached handing them energy and attention by lecturing and prescribing to them, they can continue triggering you, get the significance from you that they are emotionally affecting you (A-grade narcissistic supply) and taking your Life Force, resources and any other goodies they want to empty you out of.

One of the greatest realisations in my healing journey, which I know also applies to many people in this community who are natural (or professional) caretakers, healers and helpers, is that changing people and helping them heal must not come with ignoring our own healing and development.

Otherwise we create unhealthy healing dependencies with clients, and horrific trauma-bonds within abusive personal relationships.

With clients it is easier to have healthy boundaries (if we work on ourselves) because we don’t need to share an abode, bed or life with this person. In our personal life where we do, the only option is to detach, and heal the parts within us that are tolerating, participating with and clinging to these people.

That way we lead by example for others, our children and our future generations, rather than being engaged in rolling around with people who can’t and won’t change and holding them responsible for our lives.

Module 6 work in NARP is the absolute Module to do thoroughly to clear up granting responsibility to others who are painful and abusive, to settle into being responsible to yourself.

 

Number 6 ­– You Are An Empath

I know there is a good chance that you, reading this article, are an empath.
This means more than being a nice person who cares about others. An empath is someone who feels other people’s emotions intensely. It means that you are a sensitive.

As a young person you may have needed this psychic skill to be able to stay ahead of what other people were doing. Maybe you had an unsafe parent, and you had to try to “read” how they were going to be at any given time.

Possibly you had a sick or a needy parent who needed your attention to try to help or placate them in order to receive love, care or security.

Narcissists gravitate towards empaths easily – and this is the reason why – because the empath rather than being in touch with their own feelings, values, truths and boundaries will be dancing around the narcissist’s wounds trying to grant them what they need so that the empath can feel loved.

The empath’s real job in life is to turn their focus from “the outside in” to “the inside out” so that they can take back their power and interact with people from that inner place, and then they are no longer susceptible to narcissists.

Let me grant you a simple example of an “outside in” empath. Let’s say this person stood up to give a speech. This person is nervously looking out into the crowd trying to read people before speaking.

The empath thinks, “That person is looking at their phone. How do I get their attention?” and “That man looks bored, maybe he doesn’t even want to listen to what I have to say.”

Now imagine the “inside out” empath. He or she takes a deep breath, stands and delivers from their Soul and heart, channelling through from Source their true authentic contribution to the world regardless what anyone else is or isn’t doing.

Who do you think is going to have the most powerful and successful impact?

I promise you that after doing the inner work, and anchoring comfortably into your true power, you will no longer hand your power away to a narcissist, you will just powerfully start being and generating our authentic life, that is a match for your relationship with your own true values.

As an authentic self you will flush out a narcissist easily. They can only be with you (meaning having to manipulate you) if you are NOT being your true sovereign self.

From the first moment you stand up and back yourself and disagree you will see the cracks of the False Self suffering a narcissistic injury. It’s childish, it’s a trigger that goes off on a hairline. The narcissist sulks or lashes out. As a mature person in your own body, you will have zero attraction for this! And the narcissist will know you are way too “whole” to be a target.

As an empowered empath, of course you will still care and be there for people, it’s just you will no longer drown with people who are intent on drowning you.

Module 9 of NARP helps you disconnect from the psychic ties with narcissists and take your Soul back. This coupled with all the other NARP Modules, allows you to come back into your body, and feel safe in it, as well as life by navigating your life from a calm, empowered inner state.

 

In Conclusion

I really hope that today’s article has helped you get clear that it’s not outer knowledge that protects you, it’s inner development.
Not only does the inner development help you remain safe from narcissists, it also evolves you into higher states of consciousness and life trajectories that you did not have access to before doing the inner work.

When you heal and Thrive you will be free to be your authentic self in ways that just weren’t possible before.

Today’s article included information from my book, “You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse”.

Rituals to cultivate a Healthy Mindset if you Live Alone.

 


 

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I’ve been living on my own now for two years.

It’s been a character-building experience that while I recommend for everyone to try at least once in they life, I’m also aware it doesn’t come without its challenges.

My experience of living alone started on the brink of the pandemic. Just a few months before COVID-19 hit, my sister, who was my housemate, moved out to London and I stayed in Australia. I found a small studio to move into to get settled, and I was excited to have my little corner of the world—a place where I could design my surroundings in any way I wanted, be whoever I wanted, and just experience independence on my own terms. If you come from a cultural background where family interference is the norm, you know that this kind of freedom is a sweet release.

But no one could’ve prepared me for the loneliness I felt. Once the excitement wore off, the pandemic began and I did not manage isolation well at all. Every time someone posted a TikTok video of a dance they did with their partner or a family bake-off, I just felt like I had no one to share these experiences with. All my family was overseas, and I was single and living alone.

It took me a few months till I started to create a routine for myself that got me out of the trenches. To be quite honest, I’d say it took me a little over a year to find myself in a solid, happy place. When I was struggling then, I definitely had my happy moments too. It wasn’t all bad but I wasn’t feeling consistent joy. I think when you’re experiencing big changes, you don’t feel “good” until the change is done. There’s this expression that says “a caterpillar disappears in its own transformation.” I think that’s very true. You don’t see yourself clearly when you’re in the process of changing until you become the butterfly, but before that, you’re in a kind of metamorphosis fog.

I learned that there are essentials to keeping a healthy state of mind. That having nonnegotiable values around health is necessary for success and fulfilment. Knowing it theoretically is one thing, but practicing it completely turned my life around.

Whether you live alone or with others, these are the rituals I recommend trying if you want to have fill your cup:

It starts with the night before

If you have a good winding down routine, you wake up feeling so much more refreshed. I like to get into bed an hour earlier before sleep to make sure I have enough time to transition between the day and night. I think abruptly deciding it’s time to sleep doesn’t give our brains a chance to process the day and let go of any energetic overload.

I make a cup of sleepy tea (anything with chamomile, lavender, valerian root, spearmint, passionflower, or whatever you fancy), then I put five drops of a “sleep easy” spagyric formulation under my tongue. It’s like a concentrated formula of some of those herbs. It tastes wonderful, and also sets the intention in my mind that I’m about to sleep soon.

I wind down the lights, switch on my bluetooth speaker, and get my sleep playlist rolling. I recommend looking up Miracle Tones and listening to their “Bianural Beats – Sleep (Delta Waves)” album. Other times, I feel a bit wordy and I have more of a Norah Jones playlist going. Depending on the kind of day I’m having, it will be something to suit the mood. I also recommend something standard like Yoga Nidra, if you don’t want music but are looking for some quiet, guided meditation.

Horizon gazing

Lots of research is now showing that gazing at morning light anywhere from five to 20 minutes can optimise brain function and circadian rhythm. The eyes need to absorb light, and preferably from being outside and not just from rolling the blinds up (though that’s still better than being in a dark room). I started a ritual of getting out of my apartment within the first 30 minutes of waking and going on a short walk to the park, sitting on a bench, and simply looking at low-angle sunlight. I use a light meter app that measures how much sunlight is present to me, and most of the time, it’s well over a 1000 lux. Dr. Huberman has a podcast that goes into depth about this.

Morning meditation

It helps to hold off on coffee the first two hours of waking so as not to disturb the body’s natural cortisol level. Meditation with a big jug of water can be a good habit to get into. On weekends, I’ll usually do my meditation in the park with coffee, but on regular work days, I do it from home. I recommend meditations by Sarah Blondin if you need an emotional release, or Dr. Joe Dispenza if you want to connect with your vision of the future, or Mooji if you feel like being simply present and empty of worry. There are plenty of guided meditations out there to choose from, but these have to be my favourites.

You could also sit in complete stillness with your thoughts, do breath work, or listen to the sounds of the world around you. There are many paths that ultimately lead to the same place. Finding something you like is key to consistency.

To-do list

I jot down what I need to get done in my curation diary. It’s the brain dump I need so I don’t have to worry about forgetting anything. I see where I can schedule a workout or reading time in, too. It’s essential that the to-do list doesn’t get wrapped up in work tasks or life admin only, but also something that keeps me connected to my mission.

Sweat

I stopped calling it “exercise” this year. I now schedule it in as my “sweat” time. There’s something about the idea of sweating out the day and releasing any tension, mind and body, that makes it more appealing for me. My inner monologue seems to really have a love of words that accurately represent my emotions. I do a HIIT workout three times a week. This has truly changed my life and my body. I used to despise HIIT workouts and always had a preference for slow, weighted exercise instead. But since discovering the magical endorphin release and therapeutic benefits of it—I’ve converted. It helps to have an exciting playlist that hypes you up. I’ve found that when I’m pushed, I get excited, and this has a wonderful snowball effect on all aspects of my life. I become my own cheerleader.

Eat well

Ever since I went vegan two years ago, unfortunately, it created hormonal havoc for me. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but it certainly was for me. I’ve started incorporating a moderate amount of protein in my diet from all different sources, but I do try to be as sustainable as possible and I look for plant-based options wherever I can. As long as the rule is this: I have 25 grams of protein with every meal. This has changed my body. The right supplements also make a world of a difference. Make sure to check if you have any deficiencies in Vitamin D, B12, Zinc, or Iron.

Connect with others

Living alone isn’t healthy if it drives you into hyper-independence. This could be a trauma response disguised as a triumph. I think it’s important to be aware that we are creatures of connection; we came from tribes, we were born in a womb and got nurtured in it from a mother, we are raised and socialised into being who we are. So, complete isolation from that can be detrimental to our mental health.

I try to FaceTime with family or friends on Mondays after work; it gets the week started with connection in mind. I also try to have genuine social media interaction to support my friends or express myself throughout the week. I didn’t realise how helpful sharing my life on socials (reasonably) could be until recently. On the weekends, I schedule something more social so I can have fun and bring more lightness in my life.

Overall, I think living alone has tremendously solidified my sense of self, and it has allowed me to be responsible for my life—a skill we all need to cultivate one way or another. But I know it’s not for everyone. Some of us thrive when we are around others more and that’s okay. But for my fellow single people out there, you’re not alone.

Finding our feet in this crazy, messy world isn’t easy. It starts with our mindset, a strategy, a routine, and most importantly, a powerful “why” behind our actions. This cultivates the burning desire that fuels you onward and upward.

~


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“You’re Mine & I’m Yours”: Why we Need to Let Go of Control & Ownership in our Relationships.

 


 

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Someone who will walk with me sometimes in silence and sometimes in song. Sometimes together and sometimes apart. Independent and united.

Not together in ownership—together in awareness, in synchronicity, in understanding, in friendship, in communication, in passion.

Not one: two. Whole apart and whole together. United individually.

~

I stopped into the corner store next door for a pint of Dutch chocolate Blue Bell ice cream and a single Bota Mini Cabernet Sauvignon. The ice cream now has fork lines raked across the newly vacated top layer. A white, curved, ceramic coffee mug works just fine as a wine glass. I think about the obvious singleness of my purchases as I savor the flavors, alone in my warm and comfortable home.

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships. I’ve been thinking about why I keep getting onto Bumble and then right back off. I think about why the three dates I’ve been on in the past four years were single dates without a second because I called off any chance of a second before there was even an attempt to ask.

I think about why I find myself wishing for a man’s arms around me and all of the lovely parts of that kind of relationship, but then find myself stopping short because of the societal depiction of that kind of love.

I think it comes down to ownership and control. I would love to find a partner who can be a friend and a lover, someone who can be in my life in that singular physical way, and also be the person I would want to call when I need to know someone has my back. But it seems that relationships of that kind often get so bogged down by “supposed to” that they get filled with a sense of ownership that eventually (or immediately) leads to a desire to control.

Many will get this far and think, “Oh, this is an article proclaiming the joys of polyamorous relationships.” No. Actually, since I’m putting myself out there, I’ve recently realized that the correct term for my personal sexuality is demisexual.

On WebMD, it says, “Demisexual people only feel sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond with the person. They can be gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and may have any gender identity. The prefix ‘demi’ means half—which can refer to being halfway between sexual and asexual.”

So, for me, in order for sex to be great, there needs to be a damn good emotional connection as well as sexual chemistry. And I don’t find myself sexually attracted and emotionally connected to the same person often.

So, while I have lots of dear friends who live polyamorous lifestyles, and I respect and admire their ability to love in that way, this is not an article written to convince anyone of the merits or demerits of any particular kind of sexual lifestyle.

What this is first, is a question. Why when many of us get into relationships, do we find that we feel a need to act as if our partner is in some way “ours?” We romanticize that idea of “you’re mine and I’m yours” as if it were something beautiful and good.

Vast landscapes of film, literature, song, and daydream have come out of this idea that to truly love someone, you must proclaim some sort of ownership with them, you give yourself to them fully, and they must do the same for you. But, really, honestly, is that even healthy?

Excessive control in relationships is running rampant these days. There are so many controlling partners who abuse their wives/husbands with restrictions and limitations—financially, socially, emotionally, or in other ways.

This is a virus, maybe as widespread as COVID-19, maybe even more rampantly raging. The word “narcissist” is everywhere. I have experienced firsthand this kind of controlling behavior. It is extremely damaging, and it is why I am still single. I will never allow myself to be considered “owned” by another human being again.

Instead, to my future partner, whoever that may be, and to others who have experienced the damaging effects of love as defined by fairy tales and other disturbing ideologies, the second reason for this article: a suggestion. A new way to love, or maybe an old way, reinvented.

Yes, we can romantically love and be loved by only one other person. Yes, we can have deeply committed monogamous relationships. Yes, we can be each other’s “person.” But instead of being owned and owning one another, we can hold one another passionately and yet wholly. We can allow one another space and time.

We can’t know what the other person is up to on any given night, because it is not always our business. It is our business when they are with us. If they have told us they aren’t going to be sleeping with another because that is our agreement, that’s enough. We don’t keep tabs on one another. Instead, we trust them to be truthful because we are the same.

We hold our lovers in the same respectful space as we hold our truest friends. We are fully present when we are together, and then, when we are apart, we are living our lives with contentment in that moment, knowing that the other is also living however they live best in their space. We own ourselves fully and know that the other does the same.

In that way, we build each other up when we are together because we bring our full selves, and when two people who are able to bring their full selves come together, that is when the real magic happens. That is the meaning of true love.

True love doesn’t demand to know the exact movements of the other at all times.

True love doesn’t keep tabs on the other, getting hurt if the other doesn’t respond in a timely manner. True love asks, “Are you able to be fully yourself and know I love you as you are?”

Now, there are many who aren’t ready to be in this kind of relationship. There are many in our world who aren’t safe to love in this way. In order to be in this kind of trusted and trusting relationship, there must be a deep current of honesty. There must be a friendship. And there must be enough emotional growth on both sides, that both are able to trust deeply and be truly honest. There must also be enough growth on both sides to be able to handle deep honesty from the other.

What I mean here is, if a relationship like this can work, it is because both sides aren’t afraid to have the hard conversations. Both people in the relationship need to be able to say, “I need space,” or, “Something here isn’t working right now,” or even, “I’m finding myself attracted to…in more than just a passing way” because many of those things will inevitably happen.

Both people in the relationship need to be able to hear the hard words sometimes and hold space for them and respond with their own truth in a present and non-damaging way. It is when people stop speaking their truth and their needs and go silent that relationships get damaged. It’s when people stop listening to one another.

My truest friend and I have meta conversations fairly regularly. A meta conversation means that we talk about the bones of the relationship. When one is able to talk about even the hardest things, that is when a relationship passes the surface test and is finally able to go deep. My truest friend and I sometimes go for long periods without talking. Both of us are okay with that because we are so deeply rooted in our trust for one another that we know if something were wrong, it would be brought up.

That understanding between us that we can talk about things if they are wrong also gives us trust that things are good between us, because if they weren’t, we’d be talking about it.

So, for now, I stay single. I won’t ever be owned or own another person again. Now and then I’ll eat ice cream with a fork, drink wine from a curved coffee mug, and relish the understanding that I am here, being fully myself, and that is just right.

 

  
Sunshine #604347

Now and then I read something that seems like it was written just for me. I’m in the midst of what you describe. Living on my own for the first time in many years, between 2 women I love dearly but don’t want to fall into a traditional relationship with either one. You’ve given me something to think about and shown me an option I hadn’t considered before. Thanks for writing this.

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