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“This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.”
~ T.S. Eliot, The Hollow Men
In 2016, I published an article here on Elephant Journal.
This is the article: Five things Red & Blue have in Common: Notes from Outside the Liberal Bubble.
Here is my final plea.
An open letter to my fellow progressives:
I am going to do my best at brevity, which has always been challenging for me. Only recently did I learn that this, and many other challenges were at least in part due to undiagnosed “Audhd” and not stupidity, obstinance, and laziness as many people including myself once believed. By the way, if you had any part in cultivating an awareness of “neurodivergence,” thank you. Word choice is powerful. Words can hurt and words can heal.
Back to brevity:
No one is “okay” right now; it would be pretty fd up if they were, to be honest. Things are bad. I think we all can admit that.
I encourage you to resist common platitudes like “there’s a reason for everything” or someone’s “higher self” chose their terrible circumstances, or it is due to their “karma” or the like—you are usually my people and I love you, but if you wouldn’t say that directly to the person suffering, you might consider whether this is why there is a lack of diversity in some “new age” spiritual communities.
However well-meaning your intentions, it’s equally important to be intentional in how something is said and how it is being interpreted.
But, of course, everyone is entitled to their beliefs, so feel free to ignore me (preferably rather than berating me in the comments, if possible).
Which leads me to my plea: for us to consider whether it is possible that in our fight for equality we forgot to include other vulnerable groups of people who may have inadvertently wound up on the wrong side? I know an otherwise good guy, for example, who got hung up on the semantics of “All Lives Matter” not understanding why “Black Lives Matter” essentially meant the same thing.
Not all people are pros at discerning nuance; not all people trust themselves more than they trust the majority of people around them. Have enough people around you saying the sky is purple and you’re bound to think you’re the one with the eyesight problem.
Often what looks like anger is actually fear, frustration, confusion, loneliness, pain of all kinds. Did we forget that every human is conditioned, programmed, manipulated in too many ways to list? Follow the money—if it does not flow into the person’s home, they’re probably being manipulated by whomever benefits from people hating themselves and one another.
Who do you know who doesn’t seem an inch away from falling apart?
Those who have been the bigger animal went wild with that power. They did despicable things, allowed despicable things, at best turned a blind eye, played dumb. And as the power has finally started shifting, they refuse to admit the truth because they are scared af (as f*ck).
Before we say they deserve it, is it possible that every human is capable of the same things under the same conditions? Is it possible that humans are allergic to too much power and lose perspective, which would make sense since we are designed to share power and resources as an interdependent species?
Is it possible that as a Jewish female I would have different views had I been brought up in Israel, for example, versus New York City? Depends. Who the heck knows who you or I would be if our DNA, environment, and/or various circumstances were all different.
Can I tell you about someone real quick? He is an a-hole who used to live in my building. The first time I met him he called me a self-hating Jew. I heard him out and told him to lower his voice. After he was done insulting me, I asked what his life was like.
He told me it sucked. He was obviously lonely. He was shot when he was younger. He had untreated PTSD. He was sh*tty at engaging with people.
I don’t think anyone would’ve paid him any attention had he not annoyed them. It might’ve been the only way he knew how to have any interaction. We became friends. He eventually got kicked out of the building for antagonizing people. I get it.
But what could’ve happened if we set some rules for him? He stepped over the line a couple times when we spoke but stepped right back when I told him to. Clearly, he was in it for the company, not the argument. He was relatively harmless (I was still careful, as one must be) and at times generous and kind, but you had to look past the offensive armor to find the human inside.
Not everyone is like him; some people are so hardened they can kill you, I get that.
I only suggest that we can and should acknowledge how easy it is for intentions to get lost in the delivery.
Anyway, this is simply my opinion and an invitation for respectful discussion:
In whatever way you can, are willing, and are able, I encourage you to:
>> Consider that you can probably be a jerk sometimes.
>> Consider the possibility that under certain circumstances you and every other human is capable of being a jerk.
>> Consider that it’s relatively easy to lose your way and to figuratively or literally go insane in this insane world.
>> Consider that most people have the ability to be kind and compassionate, even if that part of them has been systematically buried by fear and misinformation.
Are there really this many truly irredeemable people out there? Even diagnosed narcissists are sometimes if not often willing to channel their energy into a collective cause, as long as they receive appropriate support and genuine appreciation, since their self-esteem is completely in the sh*tter.
I certainly don’t recommend ignoring risk and making one’s self vulnerable to harm. I instead recommend creating appropriate boundaries and just interacting with less judgment.
I think at the end of the day most humans wanna be included, safe, loved, respected, understood, appreciated, educated effectively in a way that acknowledges neurodiversity and other factors that impede learning. The United States has not provided or allowed adequate resources for people to create much less sustain a fair and symbiotic society. In fact, there are several entities that would lose a lot of money if this were the case and have directly and indirectly thwarted such attempts.
We cannot snap our fingers, pretend it’s all a wash, forgive everyone, and start over. Many wrongs will need to be made right in any way possible. But I think its worth considering that T.S. Eliot was right when he wrote about The Hollow Men. This is all of us. Indoctrinated, powerless, disconnected, confused, ashamed, enraged, lonely, afraid. Often, we are angry at the wrong people, looking in the wrong direction, instead of looking at where the money flows.
In every human, there is a scream that comes out like a bang but began as a whimper.
All I suggest is that whenever possible, we listen for the whimper.
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