10 Things All Narcissists Say

I know that narcissists all like to think that they are unique and no one else is like them. The idea being, “I’m so special, different, above, superior to (you) … and NO ONE has experienced or knows what I do!” It’s NOT true! The behaviours and tactics amongst narcissists are so uncannily identical, that it’s astounding! Once you know the behaviours, diversions and scripts, coupled with being able to show up authentically as yourself, I promise you that their GIG is up! A narcissist will never realise or admit that they are nasty, uncaring, deceptive and incapable of harmonious, loving relationships. But you will KNOW. (And that’s what truly matters!) # 1 Refusing to Respect You When asking the narcissist to not speak to you like that – with hatred, contempt, accusations or cruel personal attacks – he or she can’t comprehend, or take any reasonable levels of responsibility toward fundamental kindness or decency. Why not? Because you are not a human with feelings to him or her. You are an entity to mine and syphon, and transfer unhealed internal rage onto. Healthy, evolving, responsible humans simply don’t behave like that. #2 Shaming, Blaming or Threatening When You Leave You will be made to feel guilty, defective or frightened … to keep you hooked. You will be accused of being a terrible person, and uncaring – or what will other people think of you, for going against the narcissist’s agenda of you staying hooked to him or her to feed upon. Or, that you will never get any help, resolution, love or care in your life if you leave. Or that your life will literally fall to bits – because of your own incompetence, unlovableness and inabilities. People who are truly caring humans, allow others to make their own choices without this grossly abusive manipulation. #3 Discrediting Your Concern If you bring up the truth of what is happening (the abuse), you will be invalidated. Not only will you NOT be heard and conversed with in a healthy manner, you are demeaned and demonised for bringing up your concerns. You are made to feel like it is all in your head, and start to doubt your own sanity. Real and truthful individuals can address relationship concerns. #4 Actions Don’t Match the Words An example of this is saying, “I love you” and then doing an action that causes damage to you. Or saying, “I care for you” then betraying your trust by taking and harming your sanity, self-esteem, health and resources. An individual’s truth is defined by their actions. Not their words, or proposed intention. #5 Counter-accusations Examples include when caught out on infidelity saying, “This is about your jealousy issues!” Or, it’s a general tit-for-tat, no matter what you are confronting him or her about. If you start questioning or defending yourself against these counter-accusations, then the focus is off the narcissist. Decent people with integrity simply don’t behave this way. They stay on topic and address the issue at hand. #6 Using Your Past to Discredit You “You are damaged from your past!” is a common narcissistic divergence – with their version of what happened in your past to make you think like this. Naturally this is about the narcissist denying all culpability regarding his or her behaviour in the present that is causing you to be this way. Even though of course great evolution comes from healing our past patterns in repeat with painful people, this tactic is absolutely narcissistic, and all about avoiding accountability. #7 Circular Arguments In a disagreement with a narcissist, you will be stunned by the cruelty, twists and turns and out of bounds comments. Decent people don’t use demeaning comments, baiting tactics, non-topical senseless remarks and out of bounds madness that makes you feel like your head is spinning. Narcissists do … virtually all the time. #8 Gaslighting You “They know who you are!” says the narcissist. You are being told how selfish, immoral and nasty your character is and how other people have found you out and talk about you. The narcissist is projecting their disowned pathological self onto you. It’s only severely emotionally damaged, very unwell people, who are capable of doing this. #9 Breaking Promises You will hear the narcissist say things like, “Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.” Narcissists use promises to manipulate you, to get what they want, and let you down when he or she wants to lash out and punish you. Of course, decent and real people don’t do this. #10 It’s Your Fault The narcissist declares, “You make me behave like this!” This is a classic way of not taking responsibility for horrible behaviour and blaming you for it. That statement is so childish, it’s laughable! In closing … I know so many of you will relate to these statements, because I have heard about these identical traits thousands upon thousands of times from you in my community, over the last ten plus years. I really hope you now know that narcissists all act similarly, and we have all been in this together! Receiving the same (or very similar) ill-treatment, and experiencing terrible soul trauma, regardless of who the narcissist is in our life. This is why the healing process for narcissistic abuse, regardless of the narcissist and regardless of the individual components, is identical too, because it allows you to reach deeply inside and clear out specific narcissistic abuse traumas. I deeply understand them and have worked with them to create my own full recovery and help many people from over 120 countries world-wide achieve the same. If you aren't a NARP member and would like to check out the most successful program (humbly) in the world for recovering from toxic relationships (with over 25k graduates worldwide) then I’d love you to check it out. You may have read about NARP or heard people talk about it. I’d love you to check out some of our beautiful testimonies here. People from all walks of life who experienced the soul abuse of narcissism that we all went through, and who have come out the other side. These beautiful souls are now living (or are well on their way) to the happiest lives they have ever known. Just before I go, I also want to say that you can try NARP, with absolutely no risk for 30 days. https://courses.melanietoniaevans.com/p/narp Sending you love, healing and blessings always …