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Living in fear of sounding intelligent can rob your friends of knowing the real you The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier
that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the
people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently
try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our
professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and
capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often
stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women in particular have the
fear that they may appear not smart. Yet overcompensating for this fear can
have the opposite effect if others are driven away by what they see as an
immodest attitude or sense that you are urgently trying to prove yourself.
The simple desire to be judged smart by both new and old acquaintances can
cause you to reject your true self and adopt an affected persona. But in
trying so persistently to project an image of supreme intelligence or
capability, you deny others the opportunity to become acquainted with the real
and terrific individual you truly are. The fear that others will perceive you as unintelligent can further influence
your behavior, causing you to consciously avoid speaking your mind or asking
questions. You may feel uncomfortable participating in activities if there is
a chance that you won't excel or taking part in discussions with others who
may have more knowledge than you. In essence, you become ashamed of who you
are and attempt to encase your identity in a veneer that others will find
pleasing and impressive. It is, however, a common fear -- one experienced by
almost everyone at some point in their lives. The simplest way to combat it
is to make a personal commitment to being yourself in your home, your
workplace, and among strangers. Ask yourself how you believe the individuals
you encounter will react should you speak awkwardly, need clarification, or
fail to be the best at some activity. By being yourself, you will discover
that all people make mistakes and ask questions and that others will like and
respect you because they recognize the goodness in your soul.
The fact that you are willing to be yourself, letting your many affirmative
attributes express themselves naturally, will help you make a positive first
impression on everyone you meet and earn the esteem of your family and
friends. Your confidence and easygoing manner will say, "this is who I
am and I am proud of the person I have become." |
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