Most important relationship we have in our lives is with
ourselves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every
moment of our lives -- from birth onward -- this relationship can be the most
difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis
on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set
aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves,
however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our
mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be
comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to
have a relationship.
Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to
survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves
financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival
in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests
and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative
cohorts, and neighbors. Once we've satisfied our needs and created our
support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty
of all we've created and the beauty we've discovered within ourselves.
As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in
the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes
us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may
need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can
shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to
opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and
encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and
to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage
of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share
ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not.
Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important
relationship -- the one with our true selves.
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