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The emotional trigger that begins an argument may have little to do
with your present situation, but has dug up a wound. When we find
ourselves in an argument, we may feel like we are losing control of emotions
that have taken on lives of their own. When we can become aware that this is
happening, taking a deep breath can help us step back from the situation.
Once we can separate ourselves from the heat of the moment, we may find that
the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present
situation, but may have brought up feelings related to something else
entirely. Looking honestly at what caused our reaction allows us to
consciously respond more appropriately to the situation and make the best
choices. We can make an
agreement with our partners and those closest to us that asking questions can
help all of us discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can
result in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood
sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously,
and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could also discover
that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the
chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper
issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we
allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier
it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions
that improve our lives. When we can be
clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them clearly, we have
a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control or allow
our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our
frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and
comfortable with them, but misplaced anger can cause more harm than good.
Arguing for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our
passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for
arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole
being. |
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