Convos With Newcomers
In
my CoDA experience: newcomers reaching out, means I'm working with a newcomer
which is service and leads to me getting outside myself for half a second and
having a daily reminder that I need CoDA more than I realize. It can't bother
me because as a sponsor I have developed boundaries: when I am
unfit/unavailable physically or mentally I will not answer/respond. When I was
a newcomer my sponsors asked me just reach out anyways, leave a message, text
me and I'll get back to I as soon as I can; turns out it was still effective.
Now
on the length. I've had many sponsees including myself attempt to write
responses/assignments like they are book reports. I had to be strongly
discouraged from writing more than was asked for. So now I ask all my CoDA
sponsees to be very mindful of the length of responses (not because I'm bored
or bothered but because it's not sustainable, Step work is rigorous where it
needs to be). Sustainable is good because this isn't a flash in the pan. So
when I wrote my assignments or answered the questions in the workbook all I was
told all I needed were two sentences of reflecting. No need to win the prize,
get an "A" or impress my sponsor. My sponsor told me "I will not
ask you to do something I have not done". Also, concise is hard...
communication is hard period. But I find that it's important practice for
meetings (when trying to keep my share to 3 minutes and still get my point
across) and also for all Step work. This is a spiritual program, at the end of
the day I can't work myself into a state of peace and serenity; tried that out,
didn't work. Also, I can't earn my sponsor's love or higher power love... it's
given freely not earned.
Anonymous
5/23/2023
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