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Having a pity
party for yourself is alright as long as you learn from it and don’t dwell in
it for long periods of time. We all have days when the bad things seem
to outweigh the good ones and we begin to think that life isn’t fair. You get
stuck in traffic, which makes you late for an important meeting, and then
your car gets towed. You might ask yourself, “Why me?” Events like this one
can test anyone’s ability to be grateful and feel optimistic. If you have a
tendency to feel sorry for yourself, and many of us do, things usually
progress to the next stage: the pity party. You begin to feel like the
innocent victim of a dismal fate because you are seeing your life through
inaccurate lenses. Most of the thoughts that run through your mind at times
like these are not helpful, and they mainly serve to increase your
indignation and feelings of powerlessness. What these feelings and thoughts
don’t do is change your circumstances or make you feel better. When you have a terrible day, there should
definitely be a time and place to have your feelings so you can process them.
It’s important not to pretend that you are fine with things when you aren’t.
It’s also important, however, to notice when you’re having a pity party. It’s
a good idea to set a time limit in which to fully express your emotions and
not feel guilty, ashamed, or judge yourself. Having a friend witness you
during this process can be helpful. You may also want to write about your
feelings. When your time is up, let go of the negativity you just expressed.
You can declare your intention to your friend. If you’ve written down your
feelings, you can burn the piece of paper or throw it in the recycling bin. Try not to dwell on unpleasant experiences
and do everything you can to avoid holding on to negative emotions. When you
indulge in self-pity, you only make a bad day worse. Stop feeling sorry for
yourself, release the notion that you are a victim, and notice the good that
exists in your life. |
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