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Whenever we make the effort to free
ourselves of an addiction or a habit we no longer need, we are often
surprised to find ourselves missing the old pattern as we would a
familiar friend. This sounds counterintuitive because we think we should
instinctively gravitate toward what is good for us. And yet, it makes a
lot of sense when you consider that we humans are creatures of habit.
This is why we gravitate to people, places, and patterns of behavior that
make us feel comfortable. Therefore, many of the habits we form are not
conscious and are based on learned behavior from role models who were not
always making the healthiest decisions.
Most addictions begin as a way of
avoiding feelings that are extremely uncomfortable, so it makes sense
that stopping the addiction means a fair amount of discomfort for a time.
The same, of course, is true of habits that we have developed over time
that we are ready to release. Just knowing that this is hard and having
compassion for ourselves as we work through this process can help us to
stay the course when we feel the urge to backtrack. It’s also helpful to
remember that in time we will establish new, healthier patterns, and the
yearning for the old ones will disappear. Eventually, we will
instinctively reach for things that are good for us, and the longing for
positive change may form the basis of a new habit.
The only way to get to this new place
is to endure a time of difficulty, which is a challenge we can
confidently handle if we remember that it will lead to the change we seek
in our lives. Our bodies, hearts, and minds always need time to adjust to
a new way of doing things, but they will adapt and even become our allies
if we remain true to our vision of a new way.
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