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Thursday, 31 July 2025
On this day of your life
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I believe God wants you to know ... ... that love is
the center and the core of everything, and that Self is
the place where all love must begin. Those who love
others grandly are those who love themselves grandly.
Those who have a high toleration and acceptance of
others are those who have a high toleration and
acceptance of themselves. You cannot show
another a part of you that you cannot show
yourself. Therefore, begin where all growth, where all
evolution, where all love must begin: with the person in
the mirror. Will you not love
yourself grandly today? For the world's
sake? |
Connection (OM)
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Playing with the Fire of Desire & Not Getting Burned.
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Shantideva, in his classic work, Bodhicaryavatara, uses the metaphor of a barn catching fire to illustrate how to subdue the fire of desire.
He says to remove the fuel causing the blaze and starve the fire of its capacity to burn. Often, there are no external means to extinguish a flame, as we might expect in modern society. And during Shantideva’s time—the sixth century—the available options would have been limited indeed.
Whether by necessity or design, Shantideva’s metaphor is more about how to deal with desire than about putting out literal fires. Like so many seers and poets, he may have drawn from life experience to illustrate a point he wished to make. In this case, he is referencing a well-worn Buddhist teaching: how to be in control of one’s desires rather than be dominated by them.
Some think that moral teachings would have us all be celibate and free from intoxicants, greed for wealth and other ills, but the Dharma is not the Boy Scouts. There are many interpretations of what moral “restrictions” are—and are not. Too often, we are subject to moral policing from various religious affiliations whose proponents have never truly tasted life, and who would prefer that we don’t either. The idea that an informed “yes” to certain sense pleasures, a glass of wine, or pursuit of wealth, and so forth might reasonably fit within a spiritual life is a thought they refuse to explore, dismissing it out of hand.
Morality has run amok in our society through misunderstanding more than understanding. For the ordained to tell laypeople not to have sex or drink can be high-handed and unhelpful. The ordained often act as if the laity should play by the same rules they do, forgetting that monastics have chosen a lifestyle that imposes restrictions not required of laypeople. A committed monk with sincere intention will rise above the rules through fulfillment derived from meditation. For him, the rules are a byproduct of his way of life, and he hardly needs to think about them. However, not all monks are sufficiently committed or engaged in the inner work necessary to transcend the restraints they themselves chose when they adopted the monastic path.
All monks may mean well, but the effect they have on us will differ greatly. Some preach, others guide. Those who preach are often more concerned with promoting a belief system that promises dividends they may not have themselves received. Those who guide, while maintaining the same disciplines, have done the work and reaped the rewards. They truly, from the depths of their heart, wish to share with us the path they walk, and are capable of showing us how to walk it within the framework of our own lives. These guides can show us how to disentangle ourselves from the confusion love, intoxicants, money, and so forth can cause when they take control and help us to regain balance in our lives when it is lost to poor judgement. They are enabled to do this because they have themselves, in some form or other, been entangled as we are, and either during their prior lay life or current ordained life unraveled their issues. In short, they come from experience, and we sense it.
It is not so much what is said, but why it is said, that determines our receptiveness to the message. Well-motivated instruction—free of dismissiveness or the urge to impose an agenda—can move us to do what is necessary to avoid being scorched by the flames of desire. After all, fire is useful for many things, and it’s hard to imagine a world without it. But a fire can burn down the very home it heats if we are careless. Similarly, carelessness in relationships can bring as much grief as joy. In any case, refraining from sex does not solve the problem of the pain associated with sex and relationships. The same goes for other addictions. The solution must be sought within the activity itself, by moderation which keeps the reins in our hands. The exception is the one who, having navigated the rough waters of relationship and tasted its many variables, decides that the monastery and celibacy are the way forward.
No approach is easy—whether cloistered or actively engaged in the world. Desire holds all the cards, and how we play the hand we are dealt will determine whether we are burned by our pursuits or enriched by them.
~
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