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Most of us were born and
raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result,
we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of
which we may not be conscious. What this means is that we tend to
listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our
bodies with little or no say in most matters. This is a physical habit,
which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk.
However, with effort and awareness, we can shift the energy into our
hearts, listening and responding from this much deeper, more resonant
place.
The brain has a masterful
way of imposing structure and order on the world, creating divisions
and categories, and devising plans and strategies. In many ways, we
have our brains to thank for our survival on this planet. However, we
also need the wisdom of our hearts if we wish to continue surviving in
a viable way. When we listen from our heart, the logical grid of the
brain tends to soften and melt, which enables us to perceive the
interconnectedness beneath the divisions and categories we use to organize
the world. We begin to understand that just as the heart underlies the
brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything.
Many agree that this is
the most important work we can do at this time in history, and there
are many practices at our disposal. For a simple start, try sitting
with a friend and asking them to tell you about their life at this
moment. For 10 minutes or more, try to listen without responding
verbally, offering suggestions, or brainstorming solutions. Instead,
breathe into your heart and your belly, listening and feeling instead
of thinking. When you do this, you may find that it’s much more
difficult to offer advice and much easier to identify with the feelings
your friend is sharing. You also may find that your friend opens up
more, goes deeper, and feels like they have really been heard. If you
also feel great warmth and compassion, almost as if you are seeing your
friend for the first time, then you will know that you have begun to
tap the power of listening with your heart.
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