by
Madisyn Taylor
Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place
that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important
that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, remembering how dangerous it is
to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion
whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel
more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It
can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we've done
something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting
both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our
lives.
If it's true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing
you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see
a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your
first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the
pattern doesn't become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal
about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The
good thing about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more
deeply in it--from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of
anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of
awareness can be a formidable agent of transformation.
Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can
harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most
cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the
emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its
power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role
anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring
new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life.
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