CoDA Weekly Reading

 

Hello! I am a codependent in search for recovery.

To me, being in recovery is being in peace.

Obvious, that I, like a good codependent, am always attracting situations that take out my inner peace.

CODA program helps me identify these situations and disconnect myself from them.

However, many times, I don't want to.

In those moments, I suffer.

In those moments, I need a lot of help from my High Power, to have the strength and courage to do His will, not mine.

I have a strength believe that the will of my High Power to me is for me to have peace, and for me to develop my potentials, whatever they are.

However, many times, I don't want to accept the responsibility to develop my potentials. On the other hand, I let go of my inner peace. The condition to have inner peace is to resign my own fantasy, that many times are in conflict with my spiritual principles.

To fulfill, I get in a cycle of blame and rationalization. I judge myself.

My High Power loves me unconditionally.  My High Power forgives me. My High Power knows I'm human.

But My High Power is also fair. The spiritual laws aren't only for me: everybody has to follow them. One spiritual law is that we can not control other people. We can not force a connection. I can not obligate someone to love me.

On the other hand, I forget that this principle gives me a great freedom: I am also not obligated to love someone. Nobody is obligated to love nobody. We are free. I am free.

I know that a relationship is much more than love. It is commitment and responsibility. Again: I can not obligate someone to commit with me. And again it gives me a great freedom: nobody can obligate me to commit with somebody.

I am not God.

I am just another human being.

Other persons aren't God either.

 

Vanessa C – 5/21/21