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We are born equipped to experience a complex array of diverse emotions. Many
of us, however, are uncomfortable confronting our most powerful emotions. We
may shy away from delight and despair and deny life's colors by retreating
into a world of monotone grey. We may numb ourselves to what we are truly
feeling. It's easier to suppress our emotions than to deal with them, so we
may momentarily turn to pleasures such as alcohol, food, sugar, shopping and
too much television. We may even numb our hearts. While it's normal to
temporarily seek distractions as a means of coping with intense emotions,
numbing yourself prevents you from confronting your issues and keeps you from
ever finding resolution or peace. When you are numb, there is no pain or
powerlessness, but there can also be no joy or healing.
The activities that numb you may seem harmless or pleasurable, but using them
to numb yourself diminishes the quality of your life. Numbing yourself so
that you don't have to feel intense emotions can often satisfy a surface need
while blocking your awareness of a deeper need. You may find solace in food
or shopping when what you really need is spiritual nourishment. The less you
feel, the less alive you feel. Your feelings add vividness to your
experiences and serve to connect you to the world around you. It is possible
to disavow yourself of numbing behaviors a little at a time and once again
taste life's rich flavors. When you sense that you are engaging in a
particular behavior simply to deaden your emotions, stop and ask yourself
why. Examining the feelings that drive you to numb yourself can help you
understand what is triggering your desire to emotionally fade out.
With each numbing activity that you cut out of your life, you'll find
yourself being more aware and experiencing a greater emotional acuity. Senses
once shrouded by the fog of numbness become sharp and acute. Traumas and pain
long hidden will emerge to the forefront of your consciousness and reveal
themselves so that you can heal them. You'll discover a deeper you -- a self
that is comfortable experiencing and working through intense emotions with
courage and grace.
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