We have all had the experience of realizing that something in our lives is
not working. This knowledge can come as a sudden realization or a nagging
feeling of doubt that grows stronger, waking us up to the fact that something
needs to change. Some people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping
changes before even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear
change, so they live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to
shift but don’t do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses
lies a middle way that can help us powerfully and gracefully change what
isn’t working.
The first step is remembering that your life is made up of parts that belong
to an interconnected whole. Changing one thing can change everything. Because
of this, small changes often have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes
are necessary, but the only way to know for sure is to take the time to
really understand the problem. Examine your life in its entirety — your work,
your relationships, where you live — and determine what specifically is not
functioning the way you would like. Once you have figured out the problem,
write it down on a piece of paper. For example, “I am not happy with my
relationship” or “I don’t like my apartment.” The next step is to figure out
the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go about making this change.
If you are unhappy with your relationship because you spend too much or not
enough time with your partner, you may want to discuss this problem with them
and come up with a compromise. On the other hand, if you realize your
relationship is not working to such a degree that it needs to end, begin
working through that process. Writing down the truth can be a powerful
catalyst for change.
The key to making changes that work is to accept the necessity of change as
part of life. As we change, we may find it necessary to fine-tune our
relationships, work, and living situations. Our lives are living, breathing
entities that reflect our dynamic selves.
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