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As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the sadness by
rediscovering themselves and honoring the strides their children have made. Once individuals become parents, they are
parents forevermore. Their identities change perceptively the moment Mother
Nature inaugurates them mom or dad. Yet the role they undertake when they
welcome children into their lives is not a fixed one. As children move from
one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these
transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an
empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have
achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of
kindergarten or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of
themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental
life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover
themselves and relate to their children in a new way. As children earn greater levels of
independence, their parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being
depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes
forget that they are not only mom or dad but also individuals. As the nest
empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by
rediscovering themselves and honoring the immense strides their children have
made in life. The simplest way to honor a child undergoing a transition is to
allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of
maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age
children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position.
Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job
can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that
they will always be there to offer love and support. An empty nest can touch other members of
the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when
their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help
them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more
leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and
lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the
significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both
celebrate and honor their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension
the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still
cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature
relationships with them in the future. |
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