“Change is inevitable. Growth is a personal choice.” ~ John C.Maxwell
“I’m feeling stuck.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not happy. I wake up, get ready, do the same things that I always do, and at the end of each day I feel like I’ve done nothing at all…”
This is how you feel when you’re not living the kind of life you want to live or do the things that you actually want to do. You start and end your day on autopilot mode along with the feeling that you’ve really done nothing at all. But why is that? There’s a lot that you’re doing during the day, aren’t you?
Perhaps, the question here is not about the amount of work or number of things that you’re doing or not doing; it’s actually about how you’re feeling about the things you’re doing. Most of us spend our lives going from one necessity to another because we know that certain things have to or need to be done; in the process, we might lose sight of our own goals, visions, and dreams for life. We work on becoming good parents, children, employees, professionals, friends, and so on and disconnect from our inner essence that wants us to be good for ourselves too.
We get stuck in the never-ending loop of “I need to or have to do this,” get into the comfort of fulfilling duties and responsibilities, and don’t even realise when we’ve stopped growing. Our inner voice calls out to us several times and we push it away and stuff it down every time it comes up by making excuses such as “I don’t have time,” “I’m not ready,” “I can’t do this,” or “I’ll do it later.” But what is later? When will it come?
While it’s important to do what’s necessary to keep our survival and basic functionality going, it’s also important to pay attention to that little voice that keeps telling us that we need to focus on what we want and grow in that direction. After all, our comfort zones are only comfortable until we are actually happy and comfortable in them—and that may not stay for long. At some point, we are going to outgrow this comfort and will have to look for other things or be a certain way so that we can become better, grow, and evolve into a version that feels closely aligned with who we are.
“Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your biggest opportunity for growth.” ~ Bryant H. McGill
Before we get there, we need to pay attention to the voice that keeps highlighting different ways in which we aren’t growing in the present such as:
1. You feel like you’re stuck in a rut. You do the same things day in and out. There is nothing new or stimulating that brings you joy, satisfaction, or excitement.
2. You don’t feel excited or passionate about anything. Your hobbies and interests are a thing of the past. You know you have things to do, but none of them fill your heart with joy.
3. You feel like you don’t have any goals or something to look forward to. You could just sleep-walk through your entire day and nothing would happen.
4. You resist change. Change is inevitable and the only constant. This is the only way you’re ever going to grow into a different version or create something different for yourself. But if you stay confined to your comfort zone and don’t embrace the next step you need to take to shake things up, you’ll always be dissatisfied.
5. You keep engaging and reinforcing negative, self-defeating self-talk in your mind. For instance, you keep repeating “I’m stuck,” “I don’t know what to do,” or compare yourself to others, which ends up making you feel even more stuck, helpless, and confused.
6. You procrastinate a lot.
7. You don’t reach out, talk to, or meet new people. Hence, you may stay stuck in the same rut.
“All growth happens at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ Tony Robbins
Our tendency to stick to our comfort zones and resist change can keep us stuck and prevent us from growing. It can turn us into bystanders, watching life go by while wondering where it’s going. Living our life on autopilot is like being driven by someone else in a direction they choose for us—even if the drive isn’t that good.
As long as we allow someone or something else to sit in the driving seat of our lives, we will always be unhappy, stuck, and dissatisfied. To change that, we will have to sit in the driving seat, drive our car in a direction that comes from a place of choice, and take ownership of everything that may happen on the journey.
Breaking out of our comfort zone would need us to:
>> Become aware and acknowledge the areas in which we aren’t feeling stimulated and happy.
>> Reflect on our own ideas, goals, and visions for our life. We are constantly growing into new things and outgrowing some others. If we don’t introspect and reflect on what we want now and where we want to go, we’ll never be able to switch off this auto-mode.
>> Change the way we think about change. If we keep scaring ourselves with all the things that may happen and never look at the wonderful possibilities that also come with change, we’ll never grow.
>> Be okay with messing up because we will; that’s how we’re going to evolve into someone better.
>> Take risks and embrace the possibility of things not working out. The fact is that a few years later when you look back, you’ll at least save yourself the regret of not trying when you had the chance.
>> Explore new relationships, opportunities, and activities to feel excited, interested, and stimulated. That’s how you’ll also find things that fill your heart with joy.
>> Stop scaring ourselves with our own thoughts.
>> Trust ourselves enough to know that we can handle whatever life throws our way.
Growth doesn’t come from being where you are. It comes from being willing to move to a different space, open to possibilities, exploring the new and unknown, and believing that the right things will come to you at the right time—only if you are ready to do the work.
“Everything will work out exactly how and when it is suppose to, regardless of how and when you may want it to. Let your faith in the journey be stronger than your doubts and fears. Be patient with yourself and your growth, knowing that good things always take time. Give yourself time and space to try things and explore different paths. You will get there one day, so don’t forget to enjoy the journey too.” ~ Nicki Banas
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