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I have struggled with these two little words over the course of my lifetime.
I have struggled with lining up my actions with my words too. These habits are deeply engrained in my past, all the way from my childhood.
How do I change this and grow up?
Owning something is so much more than saying I take responsibility for my mistakes. It’s going through the motions inside my mind and feeling it in my body and soul. Knowing the responsibility was mine and reprogramming myself to make sure I am present in the future to avoid my tendency to blame others, lie about it, or cover it up.
Taking ownership has a vast sea of positive vibes that flow from within me to everyone and everything around me. It creates confidence in me and engages others’ confidence in me. This can minimize the stressors of daily life around me if I’m facing everything with confidence and a positive attitude.
Owning my actions increases trust in myself and it allows others to have trust in me. This can build my integrity and flow over into aligning my words with my actions. If I can trust myself to follow through with intent and purpose behind everything I say I will do, then I create consistency that others can also trust.
Over the course of my entire adult life, I have continually gone back on things I’ve said, had little follow through, simply given up, or become too overwhelmed to complete things because I have spread myself too thin with too many promises, made too many plans, shared too many dreams or just spoken too much. Learning restraint here is the key to my redemption.
Sharing less is difficult for me to do because I love sharing my ideas, plans, and dreams openly with my partner, family, and friends. However, this weighs down on them when I keep sharing ideas and nothing comes of them. This creates inconsistency and a lack of integrity, especially when I think I’m just talking and they think, “Is he really gonna do it?”
Journaling has helped me the last few months to minimize sharing anything bouncing around in my head. It also gives me time to reflect on any ideas and plans and gives me a chance to think about how probable the fruition of the initiation and completion are with everything else going on in my life.
This creates more stability and encourages me to lead myself with more confidence and trust toward my own success. Leading with confidence and trust can really help me develop my own personal security and help to show my family they can feel secure with me. This is important to me at this juncture in my life. I want to be the pillar in which my family and I can be supported by with strength, confidence, security, love, humility and trust. Abandoning the insecure and unsure that leads to instability or tyranny.
Tyrannical reign doesn’t give anyone assurance, especially ourselves. I can’t be in control by losing it. Calm, collected, and methodical execution of plans and ideas is what I’m learning to put forth in my life. This all starts from within; the guidance I seek comes from my soul, not a busy mind.
It’s challenging to break the mold from which I was cast. Growing out of old habits that have built my existence in this world is one of the toughest adventures I’ve embarked on. The transformation of so much, so fast, can scare the living daylights out of anyone. I’ve been scared, and the more I face the change, the more eager I am to see the individual on the other side.
I have been updating my affirmations throughout the last six months of my journey toward change. They now include such statements as: I fill my life with intent and purpose, and I stand confidently behind my words and follow through with action that I own indefinitely.
When I come across an experience, learning, or opportunity to witness my missteps during the day or if something comes up later in my journaling, I remind myself these affirmations to clear the old habits for the new foundations I am building for my future.
I also like to remind myself daily that working on myself will be a lifelong journey, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the ride and bask in the little changes I’m making. Being proud of myself is rewarding; after all, none of this is easy and seeing my own progress and feeling happy is paramount to staying on my path and journey onward into the unknown.
Speak and act, then own it. If it doesn’t work out, it’s okay. I did my best and learned from the experience. Tomorrow I’ll do something different, with purpose and intent, to make it more marvelous than yesterday.
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