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The other day, I was talking to a friend about the reality of being a Black woman in this world and how there’s always this sense of unsafety floating over our heads.
I mean, you can be strolling down the street, walking your dog, minding your own business, and someone may be so disturbed by your presence to the point where they throw a racial slur at you for no reason whatsoever. (That’s a true story, by the way.)
Situations like this make you realize that sometimes, the world isn’t a safe place. You may have experienced something similar to me, or maybe you’ve found yourself scrolling through social media, heart racing in fear and hopeful disbelief. Either way, many of us are experiencing the unsettling feeling of not feeling safe right now.
I’m usually a chilled-out person who prefers to see the good in the world and remain calm and focused on the positive. But I’m also not delusional; the bad and the ugly are out there, and we must acknowledge it.
However, what we can’t do is live our lives in fear, looking over our shoulders just in case something happens.
Speaking from experience, this way of living is emotionally and physically exhausting, and honestly, it hurts our soul. We’re not here to live in fear. We’re here to live, period. We must find calm in the chaos so we can have a healthy and happy life. Plus, it helps us make better decisions and deal with anything that comes our way in a more effective and balanced manner.
If you’re asking yourself how to find the calm I’m talking about, don’t worry; you’re not alone. I asked myself this question many times in the past, and you’re about to get the answer that has been keeping me sane and centered in this crazy world and these turbulent times that we live in.
Actually, three answers, or keys, if you will.
1. Mindfulness
When we feel unsafe (and there is no direct threat), it’s almost always about something out there that we’re not sure will happen or to what extent it will affect us. The key to finding peace when that happens is to bring ourselves back to the present moment and focus on being here and now, where everything is okay.
There are many ways to practice mindfulness, but one of my favorites (and the quickest way I know) is to touch something solid to ground myself and direct my energy here. It can be my desk, a chair, or a textured wall. Then, I take a deep breath and look around the space I’m in, soaking in the details, allowing my brain to process the safety of the present moment.
This exercise will bring you to the only moment that truly exists: now. And if you’re cringing at this idea in fear that you won’t be ready in the event of something happening, know that the more grounded you are in the present, the better you deal with anything that comes your way. Trust me, mindfulness is the way to go!
2. Summon peace in the body
This is your cue to unclench your jaw, loosen the grip on your hands, lower your shoulders a bit, and soften your face. It’s time to bring peace to the body.
Finding calm in a world that feels unsafe starts with finding peace within you. Our bodies keep the score of all our experiences and emotions, so we need to ensure we reset the scoreboard from time to time.
The best ways I know to do it are yoga and meditation—both incredible mindfulness practices, so it’s like getting two for one! These practices, I discovered, help me connect with myself and return to a sense of safety.
Every time I finish a yoga or meditation practice, I feel like everything will be okay. That’s why they are my favorite! But you can choose any practice that helps you reconnect with your body and feel more regulated and safe from within.
3. Slow down
The thing about not feeling safe is that sometimes it freezes us, but other times it makes us run. Have you noticed how sometimes you don’t even know why you’re running or where you’re running to? You simply rush everywhere, do everything fast and with intensity, and…Never. Ever. Stop.
This is your invitation to pause and slow down.
That’s where calm is. In the moments when you allow yourself to pause and reconnect. When you stop scrolling frantically and go for a walk or wake up a bit earlier and journal for five minutes before rushing to open your emails. Slow down on the good stuff; run from the toxic.
That is how we find calm when the world feels unsafe. Yes, it is real, the unsafety part. But so is the good and the beautiful. Let’s not miss the good part.
~
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