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Motherhood has a way of transforming you.
The moment I held my baby for the first time, I knew I would never be the same. In that instant, it felt like I had stepped through a portal—one that connected me to God, to source, to something infinitely bigger than myself.
Holding that tiny miracle was like holding the very essence of life.
It’s not just the biological changes, though those are profound. Our hormones shift, our brains rewire, and our bodies morph to care for this completely dependent little being. But there’s a spiritual transformation, too.
Motherhood cracks you open, pours you out, and leaves you utterly exposed. It consumes you, entrances you, and changes you to the core of your being.
And yet, amidst the magic of it all, there’s another layer: the endless to-dos. The sleepless nights. The diapers. The laundry. The toy piles that seem to multiply overnight.
Somewhere in that whirlwind of caretaking, I started to lose myself.
Society likes to tell us that’s a bad thing. We hear we need to “bounce back,” to somehow return to our old selves, as if the goal of motherhood is to come out the other side unchanged. We contort ourselves, shame ourselves, and exhaust ourselves trying to fit into a version of life that no longer exists.
But honestly? That sh*t is exhausting. And it doesn’t work.
I lost myself completely in motherhood—and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
The Magic of Letting Go
Instead of fighting to get back to my old self, I decided to let motherhood change me. I let it transform me.
In the depths of it all—the late nights with nothing but me, my baby, and the moonlight streaming in; the nerve-wracking car rides with baby screaming in the back seat; the third outfit change of the day, the spit-up-stained sweatshirt, and the messy mom bun—I was reborn.
I didn’t just lose myself; I found a new version of me. A version I didn’t know existed. And rather than resist her, I chose to embrace her, hold her, and consciously co-create her.
This new me isn’t the person I was before. She’s stronger, more patient, more connected, and more grounded. She’s learned to find joy in the chaos and purpose in the mundane. And this new version of life? It’s so much richer and more beautiful than I could have imagined.
But re-inventing myself didn’t happen overnight. It took reflection, surrender, and a willingness to let go of who I used to be.
Here are a few things I did—and continue to do—that helped me step into this new season with purpose:
1. Journaling: Writing My Way to Clarity
I started spending just a few minutes each day putting pen to paper. Sometimes I wrote about who I used to be and what I missed, other times I imagined who I wanted to become.
Journaling helped me see that I wasn’t going to magically revert to my pre-mom self—and that maybe I didn’t want to. Slowly, I began to picture a new version of me: one who embraced motherhood without losing her individuality.
2. Routines that Support (Instead of Stifle) Me
Motherhood can be unpredictable, but I found that simple routines grounded me. A quick morning ritual, a loose meal plan, or an end-of-day tidy-up gave me more mental energy to focus on what really mattered.
I wasn’t forcing myself into rigid schedules —I was creating anchors that helped me feel steady in a sea of changes.
3. Including my Little One in…well, Everything
It struck me one day that I didn’t need to separate every activity or task from my child. Sure, it slows me down when I hold the baby while folding laundry or let my toddler help put away dishes—but maybe that’s the point.
When I want to journal, I don’t need a big block of “me time.” I break out the crayons, let them doodle or race toy cars across the floor, and squeeze in a few moments to reflect on the page. It’s not the uninterrupted space I used to have, but there’s something unexpectedly beautiful about making them part of my everyday life, even my personal growth.
4. Embracing the Mess
I also had to make peace with the fact that growth is rarely neat or linear. Some days I felt unstoppable; other days I barely recognized myself. I gave myself permission to have bad days—to cry, to rest, to admit I needed help.
But I also realized I’m in charge of how I view motherhood. I don’t have to buy into the narrative that it’s always exhausting and draining. Yes, it’s tiring at times, but I can choose to romanticize the mundane—seeing the magic in washing tiny socks or finding calm in a quiet snuggle. The story I tell myself shapes my experience, and I’d rather focus on the moments of wonder than the moments of chaos.
Motherhood didn’t just change me—it created me. And who I’ve become? She’s worth the sleepless nights, the chaotic days, and every tear shed along the way.
What If You Let Motherhood Transform You?
If you’re a mom feeling a little lost: you’re not broken, and you’re not failing. You’re evolving. It might be scary to let go of who you once were, but there’s so much beauty in letting motherhood shape you into someone new.
What if you stopped fighting it? What if you surrendered to this metamorphosis and emerged not as the same person, but as someone even more aligned, intentional, and powerful?
I used to think losing myself was the worst possible outcome. I was so scared of this possibility when I first learned I was pregnant. But looking back, it was exactly what I needed. I lost the parts of me that no longer fit and found someone I like even better. I used motherhood as a catalyst to become a version of myself that I actually like a whole lot more.
So if you feel like motherhood is changing you, what if you just….let it? Let it refine you. Let it guide you toward the life and the person you’re meant to be.
Sometimes, losing yourself is how you end up finding the best version of who you really are.
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