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My whole life, people have assumed I’m something I’m not.
It’s wild how quickly labels get slapped on us based on a tiny sliver of what people see. But here’s the thing: labels rarely tell the whole story.
I grew up an athlete—sports were my world from the moment I started walking at nine months old. I was the quiet kid, the peacemaker, the one who never rocked the boat at home.
But my daughter? She’s got sass for days, and while I love that about her, I have no idea where she gets it. I never had the courage to speak up or push boundaries like that. Funny thing is, now as an adult, I apparently push boundaries all the time—just not in the way people think.
Growing up, my dad was always naked. He taught me it was natural and not something to be ashamed of. But the world? The world tells me my comfort with my body is “inappropriate.” It’s confusing, to say the least.
I was the girl who didn’t drink until I was 25, who drove everyone home from nights out, who loved dancing for the joy and sensuality of it, not for attention. People assumed I must be wild, untrustworthy, or reckless—just because I swayed my hips with freedom. On a cruise ship job, my nickname was “Filthy Pirate Whore” (yes, really) because I loved to dance and I didn’t fit the mold. I wasn’t drinking or hooking up; I was just a broke personal trainer trying to make ends meet.
Social media was no different. When I started sharing my body and movement online, people called me “that naked girl.” It broke my heart. I’ve always been the person who works hard, who treats others with kindness, who tries to do the right thing. I studied so hard in school people called me “Spock,” and with dyslexia, nothing ever came easy. I’ve had to earn every inch of success, flexibility, and strength through sheer determination.
So here’s the truth:
Yes, I like being naked.
Yes, I love dancing sensually.
Yes, I swear like a true Aussie (though less now as a mum—except when my mum accidentally taught my daughter the F-word at age one, but that’s a story for another time).
But I’m also just a woman who works seven days a week to provide for her family.
I’m not rich, yet I’ve traveled the world because I chose that over drinking, smoking, or dining out.
I train in the early hours, not because I’m naturally talented but because I put in the work.
My health is a daily battle with autoimmune challenges, but I keep going.
The most important version of ourselves is the one we decide to be—not the one the world decides for us.
So let’s take a break from labels. Let’s stop hiding behind filters and masks. Let’s be real humans sharing real stories. Maybe then, we can build connection instead of disconnection.
Letting go of the labels others put on us can be one of the most liberating things we do for ourselves. Here are 10 ways to help us shed those unwanted assumptions and live authentically:
1. Understand that labels reflect others, not you.
People’s labels often reflect their own biases, insecurities, or limited understanding—not your truth.
When someone labels you, pause and ask yourself: Is this about me, or about their perspective? Often, you’ll find it has little to do with you.
2. Anchor yourself in self-awareness.
Get clear on who you truly are. Ask yourself:
What are my values?
What makes me feel alive and authentic?
How do I want to show up in the world?
Journaling or reflecting on these questions can help you define yourself on your own terms, making external labels less impactful.
3. Focus on your own voice.
Replace the noise of others’ opinions with your own inner guidance. Meditate, write affirmations, or visualize yourself thriving without anyone’s labels holding you back.
Remind yourself: I am the author of my story. I choose who I am.
4. Challenge the labels.
Ask yourself:
Is this label true?
Does it serve me?
Who would I be without this label?
Often, you’ll realize the label has no real power once you question it.
5. Practice self-compassion.
Be kind to yourself when the labels sting. Acknowledge that it’s human to feel hurt but remind yourself you don’t need to carry someone else’s opinion.
Say to yourself: I am worthy as I am. No label defines me.
6. Set boundaries.
If someone persistently labels you in a way that feels damaging, it’s okay to call it out or distance yourself.
Say something like, “I appreciate your opinion, but I don’t see myself that way.” Or simply disengage.
7. Surround yourself with support.
Spend time with people who see you for who you are, not who they think you should be. These connections will remind you of your worth and help you feel safe expressing your true self.
8. Redefine yourself daily.
Remember, you’re allowed to evolve. Just because someone labeled you a certain way in the past doesn’t mean it’s your identity today.
Embrace the mindset: I am a work in progress, constantly growing and becoming.
9. Release through gratitude.
Be thankful for the lessons those labels have taught you—about others, about yourself, and about the strength it takes to rise above them. Gratitude can help you let go with peace.
10. Remember: labels are limiting.
The most amazing people defy labels. They’re complex, dynamic, and multifaceted—just like you. Labels shrink us; authenticity expands us. Choose expansion.
Here is a mantra for letting go of labels:
“I am more than others’ opinions. I am dynamic, limitless, and free. I release what doesn’t serve me and embrace the truth of who I am.”
Letting go of labels is a process, but with time, you’ll realize you never needed their approval to begin with. You are already enough.
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