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We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the
point we feel we can’t take it anymore, and chances are, we’ve all pushed
somebody else’s buttons — with or without knowing it. The button pusher
may not be conscious of what they’re doing, but in the end, the buttons
belong to us. We are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more
we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less
tender these buttons will be.
We’ve all had the experience of having
someone snap at us, seemingly out of nowhere. This happens when we
unconsciously push a button that we didn’t even know was there. This can
happen with a complete stranger, or with a person we’ve been close to for
years. We may even have a relationship with someone whose buttons we
secretly like to push. Buttons are soft spots that have been touched one
too many times, and they symbolize some pain that needs to be
acknowledged and healed. This may be a wound from childhood or some
recent trauma that hasn’t been adequately tended. Whatever the case, when
our own buttons get pushed, the person who most needs our attention and
caring is us, and blaming the button pusher only distracts us from
finding a true resolution to our suffering.
At the same time, if someone
continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we are
well within our rights to set a boundary with that person. Compulsive
button pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us,
are not welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our
buttons are enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes
when we deal with the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our
automatic reaction to being pushed.
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