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Why does it so often feel like we’re waiting for something just out of reach to make us happy?
A new job, a vacation, a better version of ourselves, a weekend of rest—we chase these things thinking they’ll satisfy us. And when they finally arrive? The satisfaction is fleeting. Before long, we’re already craving the next thing.
Take rest, for example. When we’re overworked, we long for a break. But once we get it, our minds start wandering: Should I be doing something else? What am I missing out on? What’s next?
Even something as basic as hunger follows the same pattern. We crave food, enjoy the meal briefly, and then—often before we’ve even finished—we’re already thinking ahead: dessert, plans for later, tomorrow’s breakfast.
This endless loop mirrors the Buddhist concept of the “hungry ghost”—a being with a huge belly and a tiny mouth, cursed to always crave but never be full. It’s a vivid metaphor for modern life: always wanting, never quite satisfied. (Think Slimer from Ghostbusters—devouring everything in sight but never truly full.)
So if nothing really lasts—if every pleasure fades and every accomplishment has an expiration date—what’s the point?
The addiction to seeking.
The key insight here is this: it’s not really the thing we want. We’re hooked on the act of seeking itself.
“What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.” ~ Hermann Hesse
If we truly wanted the thing, and it made us whole, we’d stop. But we don’t. We move on—often immediately—to the next goal, the next craving, the next upgrade.
Even big, long-term wins like a promotion or dream vacation offer only temporary highs. Afterward, there’s always something else—the next milestone, the next “fix.”
This is the heart of many addictions: the mistaken belief that this next thing will finally satisfy us. But it’s not the object of desire we’re hooked on—it’s the feeling of wanting, of chasing, of hoping. The dopamine of the hunt.
So what do we do?
This doesn’t mean we should stop setting goals or striving for meaningful experiences. Growth, effort, and ambition are all vital parts of life. But here’s what can change:
1. Recognize that no achievement will bring lasting happiness. It can bring joy, pride, and fulfillment—but these are always temporary. Let that be okay.
2. Notice the cycle of seeking. Watch yourself as you crave something, wait for it, get it, and then move on. You don’t need to stop the cycle—just see it clearly.
This awareness alone can be transformative. When we stop expecting permanent happiness from impermanent things, we suffer less. We can still enjoy the ride—but without being fooled into thinking it will finally “complete” us.
So next time you catch yourself chasing something, pause. Feel the pull. Watch what happens before, during, and after you get it.
You may find that what you’re really seeking…is already here.
~
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