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A week ago, my sister had surgery.
Four days later, she had a second one. There was bleeding.
My sister has been in and out of hospitals since she was seven years old. She had rheumatic fever, which damaged her mitral valve. This time, it was her intestine. She had Crohn’s disease that went undiagnosed for over a year, even though she saw doctors frequently and complained about symptoms.
The first day, she left the ICU smiling and hopeful to go home in about five days. We laughed when we remembered our childhood growing up with four brothers, looked at pictures from her travels, talked about our children and how easy they had it compared to us.
But that night, she was back in the ICU. Her heart had become weak.
There is a moment when life changes the plan so quickly that your mind can’t keep up. You go from, “We’re almost through this,” to “We’re back here again?”
And in that space, something particularly human happens: the mind goes backward. It starts asking: What went wrong? What did we miss? Why did this happen?
But being there, knowing my sister well, and watching everything unfold closely, I remembered:
Looking back wasn’t helping.
It wasn’t changing her body. It wasn’t calming my heart. It wasn’t preparing me for what might come next. All it did was keep me suspended in a moment that had already passed.
Fire Energy Doesn’t Let You Stay There
There are times in life when you can process slowly. And there are times, like now, in these Fire Years, when life moves faster than your ability to make sense of it.
Things change quickly. Emotions rise quickly. Plans shift quickly. And if something in your life already feels off (in your work, your relationships, your health), this kind of energy doesn’t smooth it over.
It brings it forward—even though you had a plan.
The interesting thing about Fire Energy is that it’s not as loud as we would assume, but it’s undeniably flashy. So what do we do with that energy?
We start with something simple. Not a plan. Not a solution.
We start with the way we feel.
Just acknowledge your feelings. Don’t push them away. Let them roll with tears and the breath, drop your shoulders, close your eyes, and touch your body.
When everything outside of you is uncertain, that’s the only place you can begin.
Here are five ways to cope when life surprises you or you feel overwhelmed by too many walls collapsing.
Please don’t treat them as rules. They are ways to stay present with what is happening and rendezvous with the Fire Energy. (And yes, rendezvous is the correct word.) It might be the best thing that happens to you.
1. Letting Things Be What They Are
There’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that comes from trying to fix what is already in motion in your mind. So, I’ve been noticing when my mind tries to go into “This shouldn’t be happening…” and instead, just sitting with: “This is what’s happening. Show me the lesson.”
This is not giving up or agreeing with it. It’s just not fighting reality in that moment.
There’s more space there than I expected.
2. Clearing Your Space
Back in December and January, I started decluttering my already multi-times-a-year decluttered home. I went through everything (from the third floor to the basement to the closets, drawers, and small spaces), preparing my home to support me during the Year of the Fire Horse. At the end, I had removed over 70 items. It wasn’t planned but it felt like a stream of renewal.
And what surprised me most wasn’t the space in the closets—it was the space in my mind.
Decisions felt simpler. My thoughts felt less crowded. Surprises didn’t faze me. And even when I went shopping, I didn’t buy anything. It was as if my environment had been holding more weight than I realized.
Your energy impacts your space, and your space impacts your energy. But it’s easier to start with your space than your mind.
3. Protecting Sleep When You Can
Sleep hasn’t been perfect. I’m in an apartment in Rio with hotel services, and it doesn’t match the energy of my home. It’s not metal-crazy like the last apartment I rented in Paris, but it has too many shades of gray that represent metal. (And metal energy is not auspicious for sleeping.)
I have been waking up between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m., which in the Traditional Chinese Organ Clock represents the Lung, meaning breathing and grief, which calls to letting go. So I read, and then go back to sleep until whenever I wake up, unless I have an appointment with my mother’s doctors or my siblings.
Be intentional about the space you sleep in. Keep your bedroom clean. Make your bed every day, pick up the unfolded clothes, and remove the dirty laundry. It sounds simple, but it works.
Even when the day feels uncertain, these small acts create a place where your body can soften. And many times, that’s enough.
4. Finding Water
There’s something about being near water that shifts things, even briefly. Water is the remedy for too much Fire Energy, which can lead you to feel you have too much on your plate. And even if you think you are too busy, please remember this:
“Take a break in the water.”
Take a walk by the ocean, sit near a lake, or go to the beach or pool. The purpose is not to think or figure anything out, but to feel something lighter, even for a few minutes. You will have more time than before because your mind is open.
5. Asking a Different Question
Instead of asking:
“Why is this happening?” ask, “Given that this is happening, where do I want to land?”
Not in a big, life-defining way, just gently activating your creative juice so you can read the land of opportunities.
“What matters right now?”
“What feels true?”
“What kind of life do I still want to be moving toward?”
The question doesn’t fix anything, but it gives direction. Then, detach from the search for a way. This is the key—let the Universe, God, Fire Energy take you there in the best way, which doesn’t have to be fast.
Life doesn’t always give you time to process the past before it moves you forward. Sometimes it asks you to walk while you’re still trying to understand. And that’s part of this season.
We don’t need to have everything resolved. However, we need to stay connected to ourselves as things unfold.
A Thought to Leave You With
If something in your life feels uncertain right now, take it as an invitation to reflect:
“How do I want to meet what’s coming?”
And begin there.
~
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