Share on bskyI’m a man and here’s how I feel about the Cornell 7 case.
Maybe it should be obvious. But given the overwhelming silence of brothers and uncles and fathers and sons…I’m going to assume many of us men feel guilty by association (“all men”) and scared of speaking up and getting something wrong. That happens, often, when any of us speak up about anything, and it’s scary. It’s the part of so-called “woke” that I don’t like, the kind that silences or punishes those who are “cringe”—those who dare to try, clumsily.
We should encourage, not discourage, those who care to speak up, to be active allies—but don’t know quite how to put things perfectly.
But instead so many would-be care-ers chicken out, and don’t speak up at all.
Well here I am to say something simple, and leave it at that, because this is a time to show up. Period. This is a time to express support and solidarity and that we men are not okay with assault, not okay with rape, and are willing to do our part to change rape culture and The Toxic Patriarchy, and raise the next generation to do better than we have.
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I don’t have all the answers and it’s not for me to be talking or taking up space right now but it is for me and all men to be platforming justice and basic human decency and calling out rapists and rape culture right now and not hiding in our comfort zones until the news cycle revolves again.
One of the most powerful among many things I’ve read over the last years is if you hear so-called locker room talk you call it out. That may seem obvious to you but it’s not to most of America. There’s no room for being polite about hate or those who like to hurt others.
Another is that for the many of us who are parents to push back against the idea that boys will be boys. I was raised by my mommy to be respectful and honest and caring and never call a woman a bitch, etc. so many men do. Call it out, or even better call it in, but speak up.
PS: I’ve always said rape is the worst thing in the world: because it’s taking one of the best things in the world and turning it into horror and hurt. For that reason I’ve never liked shows, like GoT, that showed a lot of sex plus violence, including rape and torture, and made it titillating at all. It shouldn’t be. It isn’t. It’s awful. It’s hurting a being, a full real caring being.
PPS: make sure you’re registered to vote, and—vote.
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