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*Warning: much needed strong language ahead!
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I have a low tolerance for bullshit.
Well, let me clarify.
When it comes to people I love, my tolerance is actually fairly high. Maybe too high. (I’m still working on that whole “boundaries” thing.)
But when it comes to strangers or acquaintances or just rude people out in the world, I tend to be quick to snap.
I’d love to say this attitude comes solely from the years I spent working in retail and as a server. Or those other years I spent in sales and customer service and management. Or possibly those months working at a venture capital firm. Years spent listening to people order me around or complain about me ordering them around. Years spent hearing “this isn’t what I ordered,” “that’s not what I want,” “get this for me now,” and “that’s not fair.”
Years spent with people spewing their negativity at me. Taking their bad days out on me. Forgetting how to be decent human beings.
But honestly, I think it’s just part of my personality.
I don’t like injustice. I don’t like cruelty. I don’t like when people act like assholes. (Myself included.)
And while I aim to take the high road in these situations—particularly when my job or safety depends on it—and respond firmly but with some level of compassion (because we all deserve the benefit of the doubt sometimes), I’ve also been known to respond with an equally firm, and decidedly less compassionate “fuck you” (or something more colorful).
I don’t regret any of those instances—because, honestly, “fuck” is such a satisfying word to say when you’re pissed off. But as I get older, I realize that I should probably have a few other, not-so-aggressive, slightly-more-mindful responses in my back pocket for these moments.
Here are two that are starting to grow on me:
The first comes from poet Nikita Gill. She is the level of compassionate I aspire to be.
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The second comes from writer, creator, and mom Elyse Myers (whose videos make me laugh regularly). She is the level of unbothered I aspire to be.
“When did I learn it is incredibly cool to not accept the negative things spoken about or around me? Great question. I would love to tell you.
I used to work as a receptionist at a hotel in Australia. I had a man walk through the front doors who was outraged by the fact that I would not let him check in 12 hours early, and I would not give him a free upgrade to the nicest room in the hotel. He slammed his credit card down at me, shoved it across the counter and said ‘Make it happen b*tch.’
Oh that’s cute. A lil temper tantrum.
I slide the credit card back to him and say, ‘I do not receive that.’ And I walked away.
My co-worker later asked me why I didn’t defend myself, and I said, ‘I did.’ I said, ‘I don’t receive that.’ I don’t have to think about his words. I don’t have to agree with them. I don’t have to get upset about them. I don’t agree with you and I do not receive that. You don’t get any other energy of mine. It is precious and I’m not going to waste it on somebody that is wrong.”
You can watch her video here.
How do you respond when people spew their negativity at you? Share in the comments!
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author: Nicole Cameron
Image: Vlada Karpovich/Pexels
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