My mind comes up with so many excuses not to post this…
“It feels exposing. It feels self-centered.
It feels open to criticism. It feels stupid.
It feels scary. It feels contradictory to who you are – you are not your body, so why are you posting this?”
…Says the voice in my head.
But here’s the truth. My truth: my body and I have been on an intense journey. After years of inflicting so much pressure, pain, and stress on it, on my body, on me…I have finally developed a new relationship with it.
And I’d like to own that here and now.
I went from oscillating between starving myself and bingeing, from not being mindful of the food I consumed, following fads, trends and diets…
…to actually listening to my body’s needs, eating intuitively and filling it with wholesome, nutritious deliciousness.
I went from over-exercising, hitting the pavement every day, running it into exhaustion, hurting it with a build-up of lactic acid and killing my adrenals…
…to slowing down, taking a break, turning to yoga and meditation, and trusting the process that needed to happen.
I went from criticizing my every flaw, ripping myself apart in the mirror, feeling disgusted with myself, trying to conform to society’s idea of beauty, having serious body dysmorphia…to loving my body where it was, treating it with unconditional kindness, thanking it for its ability to breathe, move and experience, and being patient with it.
I went from being in physical pain, having amenorrhea for almost a year, feeling the symptoms of PCOS from hair loss to acne to weight gain, being told I need to take antibiotics and have surgery if I wanted to heal…
…to healing myself through patience, perspective and conscious holistic care.
I went from hatred to love.
Through that, it began to change, to soften, to trust me again.
Yes, I’m not my body. But I love my body—from the inside out—and I own that.
That’s when the healing begins.
Thank you beautiful Sarah, for capturing this.
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