by
Madisyn Taylor
Heredity plays a role in almost all human development, whether
physical, mental, or emotional. We tend to look like our parents and are
subject to the same sensitivities they have. We may even be predisposed to
certain behaviors or preferences. As we grow older, we become increasingly
aware of the traits that exist within us and the clear history of the traits
of our mothers and fathers. Our response to this epiphany depends upon
whether the inclinations, tendencies, and penchants we inherited from our
forebears are acceptable in our eyes. We may honor some of these shared
traits while rejecting others. However, there is no law of nature, no
ethereal connection between parents and children, that states that the latter
must follow in the footsteps of the former. We are each of us free to become
whoever we wish to be.
When we accept that our parents are human beings in possession of both human
graces and human failings, we begin to regard them as distinct individuals.
And by granting mothers and fathers personhood in our minds, we come to
realize that we, too, are autonomous people and in no way destined to become
our relations. While we may have involuntarily integrated some of our
parents' mannerisms or habits into our own lives, conscious self-examination
will provide us with a means to identify these and work past them if we so
desire. We can then unreservedly honor and emulate those aspects of our
mothers and fathers that we admire without becoming carbon copies of them.
Though many of the tempers and temperaments that define you are inherited,
you control how they manifest in your life. The patterns you have witnessed
unfolding in the lives of your parents need not be a part of your unique
destiny. You can learn from the decisions they made and choose not to indulge
in the same vices. Their habits need not become yours. But even as you forge
your own path, consider that your parents' influence will continue to shape
your life--whether or not you follow in their footsteps. Throughout your
entire existence, they have endeavored to provide you with the benefit of
their experiences. How you make use of this profound gift is up to you.
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