We’ve been taught since day one that vulnerability is a weakness and not a superpower.
Thank God for Brené Brown shining light (and truth) on what it truly means to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is a lot of things.
It’s hard.
It’s messy.
It’s real.
It’s human.
And…
It’s the heartbeat that keeps humanity alive.
Her definition of vulnerability goes like this:
“Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
But vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.
When the barrier to vulnerability is about safety, the question becomes: ‘Are we willing to create courageous spaces so we can be fully seen?’”
Being seen is hard.
It’s messy.
It’s real.
It’s human.
But what other choice do we have if we’re not being vulnerable?
We have the choice to stay disconnected from one another, to feel not part of but apart from. When we’re not being vulnerable, we’re putting walls up between ourselves and everything we desire.
There are so many ways to step into vulnerability and out of fear. One of them being making connections with complete strangers (who later become friends).
Last year I started a new job at the same time as another woman, and the moment we met, I knew I wanted to be friends.
I thought about how to go about asking her the one question I ask many strangers without coming off as “too much.”
I played it cool (or tried to) and let the relationship unfold as it was meant to. But I do this thing my boyfriend calls, “turning your heart on full blast.”
In other words, I come in hot. Real hot. Why? Because life’s too short to be safe and I believe vulnerability is the only way.
I know it can be off-putting to the receiver and make them feel uncomfortable, but guess what? Vulnerability isn’t comfortable and life isn’t either. I’d rather put myself in uncomfortable situations if it means it’ll change my life for the better.
Just yesterday, I reached out to a complete stranger (yet again) who writes on this platform. Knowing very well she could reject my one question, I asked it anyway.
“Wanna be friends?”
I do this often. With women, I feel a bond with. Sure, I question how it’ll be received or if they’ll accept me. But I’d rather be met with a no than wonder “what could have been.”
I want to be a woman who normalizes asking complete random women to be friends.
I want to be someone who vulnerably calls out the strengths and beauty in other women even if it makes me look different.
There’s a disease in this world that infects us women and makes us sick. It’s called comparison. And I believe part of my purpose on this earth is to cure that disease through vulnerability.
I’m inviting you to do the same.
The next time you come across a person’s Instagram post or you lock eyes in the coffee shop, choose vulnerability over fear and ask them this one question: “Wanna be friends?”
The worst they can say is no. And even then, know at the very least, your bold act of vulnerability is like a domino effect—it’ll send a ripple in their life one way or another.
The best they can say is yes. And then, you’ve just let your heart connect with another, forever changing who you are and who they are in the best way possible.
Let’s continue breaking down the walls we’ve put up between ourselves and everything we truly desire—like deep human connection.
~
AUTHOR: JENNY NEAL
IMAGE: BRAD PEARSON/UNSPLASH
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