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We have all had the experience of reacting in a way that was
less than ideal upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or being
told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because when our
emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting our
ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release the
tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it's yelling back at the
person yelling at us, or rushing to deliver words of comfort to a friend in
trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching ourselves to remember
to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks and insults
that can come our way in life.
For one thing, our initial response is not always what's best for us, or for
the other people involved. Reacting to childish rage with childish rage will
only escalate the negativity in a situation, further ensnaring us in an
undesirable dynamic. Similarly, when we react defensively, or simply
thoughtlessly, we often end up feeling regret over our words or actions. In
the end, we save ourselves a lot of pain when we take a deep breath and
really tune in to ourselves, and the other person, before we respond. This
doesn't necessarily mean we don't say anything, although in some cases, that
may be the best option.
Some situations require a fairly immediate response, but even just a moment
of grounding ourselves before we do so can help enormously. The next time you
find yourself wanting to react, try to pause, and in that pause, take a deep
breath. Feel your feet on the floor, the air on your skin, and listen for a
response to arise within you, rather than just going with the first thing
that pops into your head. You may find that in that moment, there is the
potential to move beyond reaction and into the more subtle and creative realm
of response, where something new can happen.
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