Most of us pride ourselves on our self-sufficiency. We like to
be responsible for taking care of ourselves and pulling our own weight in the
world. This is why it can be so challenging when we find ourselves in a
situation in which we have to rely on someone else. This can happen as the
result of an illness or an injury, or even in the case of a positive change,
such as the arrival of a newborn. At times like these, it is essential that
we let go of our feeling that we should be able to do it all by ourselves and
accept the help of others.
The first step is accepting the situation fully as it is. Too often we make
things worse either by trying to do more than we should or by lapsing into
feelings of uselessness. In both cases we run the risk of actually prolonging
our dependency. In addition, we miss a valuable opportunity to practice
acceptance and humility. The ego resists what is, so when we move into
acceptance we move into the deeper realm of the soul. In needing others and
allowing them to help us, we experience the full realization that we are not
on our own in the world. While this may bring up feelings of vulnerability, a
deep feeling of gratitude may also emerge as we open to the experience of
being helped. This realization can enable us to be wiser in our service of
others when we are called upon to help.
It takes wisdom and strength to surrender to our own helplessness and to accept
that we, just like every other human being, have limitations. The gifts of
surrender are numerous. We discover humility, gratitude, and a deepening
understanding of the human experience that enables us to be that much more
compassionate and surrendered in the world.
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