Popularity

 

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. -Albert Einstein

Why do I seek to be popular? I want to be loved. I want you to like me, and this desire to be liked often makes me hypocritical. In the last few years, as I've danced more and more in Spirit, I find that I'm moving closer to honesty. I still want you to like me, but I need to tell the truth. My truth is who I am.When I betray my truth and seek to appease the majority, I'm uncomfortable. Spirit is making me more real. Spirit is feeding integrity into my life. Spirit makes my life enjoyable.

I want to be popular, but not at the expense of truth.

On this day of your life

 

I believe God wants you to know ...

 

... that there are worse things in life than

are going on right now for you.

 

If you don't think so, pick up a newspaper.

If you don't believe me, talk to some friends.

This is not the end of the world.

 

My mother used to say, "Even this shall pass."

She also used to say, "When you are 90, how important

do you think this will seem?" Then she would

advise me, "give it that same importance today."

I just thought I'd pass that on...

The Flow of the Universe (OM)

 

Many people live their lives struggling against the current, while others use the flow like a mighty wind. The flow of the universe moves through everything. It's in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away, the sprouting of a summer flower born from a seed planted in the spring, the growth cycle that every human being goes through, and the current that takes us down our life's paths. When we move with the flow, rather than resisting it, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life.  Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It's just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Tapping into the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It's just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or dragging your feet. Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything that you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents.

6 Signs you are a People Pleaser (& How to Hold Good Energetic Boundaries).

 

Melissa Toy Ozeas (245)

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Yes. Yes. Yes.  

I’ll lead that meeting! I’ll host the family reunion! I’ll listen to you complain for five hours about all the reasons why you hate your life!

In childhood, I developed a sign on my forehead that says “People Pleaser.” I used to think I was saying yes because that’s what “nice” people do. And, of course, I wanted to be nice and thoughtful. I wanted to be liked.

But energetically, I was shrinking, overcompensating, and telling the universe that I would settle for less than my full worth.

 

  

 

Inside, I was feeling drained and often resentful. I was also feeling stuck in my career. So to help me, the universe brought me three difficult relationships: a confrontational neighbor, an antagonistic family friend, and a really draining co-worker—all so that I could finally learn how to hold good boundaries.  

But how do you know when you’re not standing in your worth?

Here are signs that you are not holding good energetic boundaries:

1. You hold resentment.
2. You feel guilty even though you have not done anything wrong.
3. Your body and your energy constrict when a certain person calls, texts, or comes near you.
4. You constantly hear yourself say, “I should…” and “I have to…”
5. You feel drained—emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
6. You have a hard time connecting to joy.

Okay, so you don’t have good energetic boundaries. Now what?

Here are questions to ask yourself before saying yes to anything:

>> Does saying yes to this light me up?

>> What does my intuition tell me?

>> What am I giving up by saying yes to this? Because if I say yes to this, it means I’m also saying no to something else.  

>> Am I valuing myself less than the wants and needs of this other person?

>> Does saying no to this allow someone else to step up and say yes?

>> What story am I telling myself about saying no to this? And is this story actually true? For example, if I say no to pet sitting my friend’s puppy, does that mean I’m a bad friend? Is this true? Or does saying no to 24-hour around the clock puppy care allow me the time, the space, and the energy to show up as my best self in other parts of my life?

>> When I say no and set good boundaries, do I actually make others feel safe because they know where I stand and can trust me?

By the time my neighbor called me to have one more long drawn out political conversation, I’d had it. I, super kindly, yet firmly, said no. Then when my co-worker texted me at 10 p.m., I decided that I will no longer respond to texts after 7 p.m. And in my evening meditation, I gently cut the energetic cords to our family friend and sent her off with love.  

And the universe, in her infinite grace, showed up for me swiftly and dramatically. All in the same week, my neighbor suddenly moved away, my co-worker retired, and my friend stopped talking to the entire family!

And guess what? All of that extra time, space, and energy allowed me to find my light and finally start a new career helping others find their own light and purpose.  

I’m enjoying the freedom and joy that good energetic boundaries bring to me and my relationships. And I proudly wear the new sign on my forehead that says,

“I am kind. I am worthy. And I love my good boundaries.”

10 Truly Simple ways to Clear (Physical & Emotional) Clutter from your Life.

 

Nicole Cameron (123,425)

Managing Editor

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Lately, my space has felt hectic, busy—cluttered.

By space, I mean my physical space: my apartment, which sometimes feels way too small for two grown people and a rambunctious puppy; my closet, which basically houses all my belongings at the moment (and there are a lot of belongings); and my bathroom, which is overflowing with hair products and face serums and things I tell myself I’m going to use one day but which often get pushed into the back of a cabinet.

And then there’s my emotional space: my mind, which is constantly moving in a billion different stressful, joyful, or anxiety-filled directions; my heart, which is often overwhelmed with love and sadness and care and worry; and my body, which is trying to hold everything that matters to me in just two hands.

On my best days, my life feels full in a way that leaves me overflowing with gratitude. And on my worst days, I want to put it all down, put it all away. I want to unburden my mind and my heart, along with my home and my closet.

I want to clear all the damn clutter and start fresh.

But what usually happens is that the thought of clearing my space, the stress over when and where to start, leaves me paralyzed and I end up on the couch, bingeing a show I’ve seen 100 times (I’m talking to you “Grey’s Anatomy”) and promising myself that I will organize the closet or meditate or whatever…tomorrow.

When I asked Elephant readers how they clear clutter from their lives, I was surprised how simple some of their suggestions were. May they be of benefit.

Here are 10 truly simple ways to clear clutter:

Physical

1. “Start with a mental check in: why does it matter to you/what joy and peace does it bring you? Then deeper, does it actually have that power you identify or do you have it in you? Next, repurpose, recycle, reduce, and rehome.”

2. “Donate! Clear physical clutter by donating items and donate time to someone in need of your help. Both bring freedom.” ~ Barbara

3. “Don’t put it down, put it away.” ~ Judith

4. “Cleaning. Literally. I always feel better after having given a space a thorough scrub down.” ~ Heather

5. “Sort through it and gently ask why you’ve been holding onto it and what is keeping you from letting it go.” ~ Whitney

Emotional

6. “Mental purging…cry, yell, talk it out…then Let. It. Go. Ask myself in real terms why does it matter, and deal with my understanding of it. Then tell it good-bye.” ~ Ann Marie

7. “Meditation for the mental declutter. Change of environment and being out in nature.” ~ Niharika

8. “For emotional decluttering : chant ‘If it comes, let it. If it goes, let it. If it stays, let it.'” ~ Yolanda

9. “Cut out those people who either drain your energy or refuse to see the real you.” ~ Daniel

10. “Turn off your phone.” ~ Marie

~

X

Nicole Cameron  |  Contribution: 123,425

Nicole Cameron is a lover of words: the simple ones, the powerful ones, the made-up ones, and those of the four-letter variety. She’s also a fan of N.Y. style cheese piz… Read full bio

AUTHOR: NICOLE CAMERON

IMAGE: GISELLE_DEKEL/INSTAGRAM

NUGGETS OF WISDOM - 515

 

• ·       “When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn’t want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.” – Mark Twain

  ·       “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

  ·       “Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.” – Mark Twain

  ·       “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” – Mark Twain

  ·       “Never miss an opportunity to shut up.” – Mark Twain

  ·       "When a prayer is apparently unanswered, the delay often betokens a better answer, although one which is for some good reason greatly delayed."

  ·       "The Teacher Sons even now visit your world for the purpose of formulating plans concerning their projected sojourn on your sphere. They will be due to appear on Urantia after its inhabitants have gained comparative deliverance from the shackles of animalism and from the fetters of materialism."

  ·       “You can only lose what you cling to.” ~ The Buddha

  ·       "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." - Don Herold

  ·       "He says that anyone who has seen him has seen the Father. And he says and does all these tremendous things with such childlike naturalness ... He seems to be so sure about God" - Nathaniel and Thomas teach about Jesus

  ·       I am beginning to trust myself. I am beginning to discover that I am okay. - Ruth Fishel

  
  

The Quote

 

Courage

 

"Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace." Amelia Earhart

How true this saying is. Whatever peace has been achieved in this world has been created by men and women who have shown great courage. Not only did they risk their lives, but many gave their lives for the cause they championed. Along the way they also suffered ostracism and persecution. But they could do no other.This is the physical reality of Say Yes to Your Spirit. It is the lived-out drama of what it means to dance in God. And the world has changed. Racism, sexism, homophobia, witch burning, slavery, and many more exploitations have shriveled in the world, although they have not been completely obliterated, because great men and women showed courage. Celebrate the power of the heavenly Spirit.

I affirm courage in my life.

5 Ways To Become Narcissist Proof In 2021

 Gosh the last 18 months have been challenging!

With world events, pandemics and lockdowns plus what you have been through with toxic people, it’s likely that you feel like you have been turned upside down and inside out!

This is why I wanted to reach out to you with this article, about 5 ways to become narcissist proof in 2021, so that you can finish out this year in your power shedding your trauma symptoms and positioning yourself to grab your best and healthiest life with both hands.

This article today is a cross-section for different aspects of your life. The emphasis on each is how to create an authentic, safe, empowered foundation where you are free to be yourself, without abuse.

Okay let’s get started with the first of the 5 ways to become narcissist proof in 2021, with the essential starting point – you!

 

Number 1 – Mating Your Own Soul

The most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself. This is because all of your feelings, thoughts, choices and personal power, or not, come from inside of you.

I want you to think about this – anything in your life that is challenging, when you have tried to deal with it from a place of frustration, fear, pain or powerlessness has not worked out for you. Such as trying to repair an item in your house when you are annoyed and anxious!

But what happens when you calm down, get centred and solid within? Solutions and the “repair” start to flow.

I promise you that all of your life is the same.

If you are filled with trauma that has been triggered, which of course is very human in challenging times, such as the world we live in right now, as well as your personal experiences with narcissistic abuse, you may feel drained, anxious, depressed, confused and fearful about your present circumstances and future.

But it doesn’t stop there – these feelings are heightened, if you have many survival and security programs triggered about health, finances, love and every essential gamut of the human experience. My heart goes out to you if you’re right in the middle of such an emotional storm.

Personally, in these last 18 months I have had to do a ton of healing work on myself in these uncertain times! Again, I am pushed to release dense fearful energy, anchor in more Source Light and shine as brightly as I can within these dark times.

When I don’t work on my inner state, I find that I start feeling anxious, I try to get the “answers” outside of myself (which never solidly holds inside of me) and get caught up in “stinking thinking.”

This is normal – it’s human! Yet I promise you there is a better way.

Please get very clear, it is the trauma inside of you that is messing with you. It is what, when triggered, derails you, pulls you out of your power centre and your connection with Source (which gives you comfort, strength wisdom and power) and makes you feel like you are out on a limb with nothing to hang on to.

This is when you are most likely to hand power away to unhealthy sources on the outside, like abusers (trying to force them to treat you differently), taking up addictions to try to numb out the pain and fear (such as food, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol or obsessive mind-numbing activities), instead of being able to pull back, regroup, heal and get more empowered within yourself.

I say it all the time – everything that you seek can start to show up when you mate your own Soul. This includes the people, situations, love and support that can help you through these crazy times! I feel so blessed that my inner sanctum of people are completely on the same page as myself. We couldn’t be tighter and more loving and supportive with each other.

I promise you that prior to Thriver Healing, this wasn’t my life. Before I turned inwards to heal, and become my own Soul Mate, the main people in my life represented my inner disconnection. They were cell mates, not Soul Mates! I felt alone. I felt like “no-one was coming.”

Whatever unhealed traumas we have going on inside of us, is exactly what we generate unconsciously, participate with and wrestle with outside of us. The first step out of this is to realise that this is what is really going on!

In this uncertain time, where there is a lot of isolation through restrictions and lockdowns, it can be a perfect time to work on yourself. To prepare for the new world, where we can come out of all this upheaval to forge new ways and directions.

To find a way, even when there seems to be no way, or only limited ways.

Who will you be when that time comes?

Can you prepare now to be in the most empowered, solid, Source-filled position inside of you, to make the most of what is coming?

This is ever important to me right now … and it may feel really pressing for you too.

 

Number 2 ­– Open Hearted Authenticity

There is so much division in the world right now. You may be experiencing this with your nearest and dearest.

Please know that closing your heart and being defensive does not work in any relationship, and it may surprise you to know that it isn’t even helpful in narcissistic abusive relationships – where ironically you need to protect yourself the most.

In fact, narcissists love you disconnecting from your heart centre and being triggered, angry and defensive. They get energised from your fear, pain, retaliations, victimhood and trying to assert your rights whilst pointing out what they have done to you.

As far as the narcissist is concerned, any criticism toward them grants the narcissist carte blanche to unleash their nasty arsenal and punish you. This is why it is so important to understand how your negative energy energises the narcissist – like blood does to a shark – so as not hand the narcissist the bullets to shoot you with.

Open hearted authenticity means … rather than trying to fix and change someone else by lecturing or prescribing to them who they should be … instead detach.

Come home calmly, maturely and solidly to you – and ask yourself, “What is it that I want and need to have a healthy relationship?”

I really want to give you permission to own and embody this – because you are absolutely correct – there are things that every relationship requires to be healthy, especially the most important intimate relationships, where you are sharing your Soul, body, bed, finances and life with someone.

I completely and utterly believe that the following attributes – kindness, care, honesty, truthfulness, desire for teamwork and wanting to create solutions in times of stress are essential for ANY relationship to be successful.

These things are NORMAL!

For you to be narcissist proof in 2021 means aligning with the truth of this – YOU deciding that these attributes are absolute and pulling away to take care of yourself, means you are saying “no” to people who turn out to be nasty, malicious, deceitful, uncaring and incapable of humility, teamwork and care.

This also means getting very clear that times of “seeming to”, or someone “saying” they have decent relationship attributes and then slipping back into these unhealthy and abusive patterns just doesn’t make the grade!

I want to help encourage you to take back your power and up-level this year. This is the year to stand in your truth – be aligned with what is LOVE and let go of who and what isn’t.

 

Number 3 – Up-Level Your Relationships With Family And Friends

Oftentimes it can be easier to just go along with unfulfilling relationships, especially when you don’t have to live within the same four walls with this person. But do you want more than that?

You may be experiencing painful relationships with certain people. Maybe you are not seeing eye to eye right now, or you could have always had strained relationships with certain people. You may feel like the relationship is one-sided, and you are not respected or supported. Perhaps you would just love a deeper connection with this person, and it’s not forthcoming.

As a Thriver, moving forward, there is a powerful way that you can provide the opportunity to up level these relationships.

My wonderfully wise colleague and friend Katherine Woodward Thomas, granted me this information, which was truly life-changing. She explained how to invite someone up into a more evolved and conscious relationship with you.

It goes something like this, “(Person’s name) I haven’t been completely honest with you, and I would really like to be. We have had some friction and tension and I haven’t been feeling okay about it as I am sure you haven’t been either. I’d love a closer relationship with you, where we could be more honest and caring for each other, and I really want to ask you – what do you need from me to make that happen? How could we open up and be closer and more kind to each other? And I would love to share with you what I feel that I need to, if that’s okay with you?”

Then listen to what comes back.

Does this person want to meet you half way to create resolution and more love?

Or will they be defensive, run from this, blame you, or make excuses.

By approaching them you have led the way. That is the Thriver Way, to generate the relationships you wish to have honestly, openly, fearlessly and pro-actively.

If this person doesn’t want to meet you in their heart space, then you have your answer. This person presently doesn’t have the desire, or perhaps the capacity to have a more evolved conscious relationship with you.

That’s okay. Now you know.

From there you may decide to keep having Modified Contact with this person, but no longer do you have expectations or desires for something closer. You let it go. You keep being “you” in authentic truth and honesty generating more of you with people who do have the desire and capacity for authentic relationships.

If this person was truly nasty and started turning everything on to you as narcissists do, then you would be wise to go No Contact with them as much as possible. Maybe that is the end of the relationship forever.

Again, that’s okay – they just aren’t a match for your truth, Soul and life anymore.

This is the time in our lives to sort out “the chaff from the wheat” and choose and align with relationships of authenticity.

I promise you, just as it happened for me, by approaching people in this way, many will transform into the family and friendship relationships that you have always truly desired.

 

Number 4 – Up-Level Your Life In Your Profession Or Studies

I really want you to know that you are more powerful than you know – even though it may not feel like it. Right now, so many people have been pushed to the wall. Yet, please hold this truth: through grist and pressure is where pearls and diamonds are born.

I have seen so many people this year rise above incredible adversity to shine. This happens regularly with those in Thriver Recovery, moving toward their True Self path and field.

Your truth and authenticity to self are your most powerful tools to get you through these challenging times.

In fear we look for people to save us and we hand power away. In a deeply healing inner core we listen to and trust ourselves and Source. We know “the way” inside of us.

You need “your centre” now more than ever. What are your choices, decisions and values? Are you prepared to stand in these and not succumb to fear and limitations? This time we are in is one where you may be absolutely challenged. You may feel that you have no choice over certain directions presented to you.

That is not true. Your “job” is not your security. YOU are your security. You are an unlimited being with the ability to always create MORE of you – your alignments, choices, deservedness and decisions.

Then, even when there seems to be no way, a way will appear.

When you honour YOU, all of life honours you, including your financial prosperity. It doesn’t have to just come through “one” avenue, or even the avenue that you think it must be through.

Source has your back – as a result of you having your own back – always and in all ways.

Work on this within you, and you will see. You will emerge as YOUR truth regarding your service and who you are being on this planet.

 

Number 5 – Heal And Release Yourself From Trauma

So much of what I have talked to you about above is extremely difficult to just decide to do! In times of great stress, and with the persistent trauma symptoms of narcissistic abuse oftentimes we need much more different and powerful solutions to get ourselves over the line.

Today I want to let you know about a fast-track powerful way to help you release trauma, go free from the pain and torment of narcissistic people (as well as the feelings of uncertainty about every area of your future) so that you can come home to peace, wisdom and solidness within yourself.

Then from this foundation of relief, there is the space to rebuild and recreate your life anew – your True Self and Life that will authentically gratify you.

Why, when you have tried to make changes in the past it seemed so hard and you found that you slid back and felt like you were at square one again?

This happens because you were trying to change what you were doing, without changing who you are being on the inside.

When you work at the Inner Beingness, then the doing what is your truth and what will serve you becomes so much more effortless.

It becomes a natural extension of your beingness.

This is the work that I am so passionate about. It is exactly the transformation that I was (and still am) so dedicated to creating and generating within myself so that when I leave this planet, I will be able to say, “I did it. I turned within, I released myself from my fears, traumas and limitations, so that I could be the best, and the enjoy the best that my life had to offer.”

It is my greatest passion to help people move out of fear, trauma and the traumatic aspects of narcissistic abuse to live their freedom, no matter what challenges they come up against in life.

And, there are plenty right now!