God
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
I
was raised by a narcissist mother who turned her back on me when I first got
married. My spouse was verbally abusive and an alcoholic. I ended my first
marriage five years ago only to find myself in two more relationships with
narcissists.
CoDA
helped me to dig deep into myself and to figure out my need to be in toxic
relationships and my fear of being alone. I discovered I had huge abandonment
issues from childhood because my mother left me in a room at five to be abused
by someone older than me. The result was very bad trauma and PTSD. I really
thought about the Serenity Prayer and found acceptance that all this happened.
And no matter how hard I wanted my life to be different I could not change what
was done to me, so I had to find the courage to change the things I can.
I
do this by not needing a man in my life and setting healthy boundaries for
myself. Through prayer and meditation so far the PTSD is gone and I have the
wisdom to watch for red flags and to not tell someone I don't know well yet new
things for a long time. Through prayer and meditation I am loving myself. My
son became an alcoholic that verbally abused me but I can’t fix him and he’s
broken. I learned through the program that those are his issues and it is not
for me to carry. Yes it hurts like a knife but I have the right to be happy and
free. If I made it through this there’s hope for recovery. It works if you work
it and you're worth it.
God
bless,
Cathy️
- 05/18/21
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