5 Ways To Become Narcissist Proof In 2021

 Gosh the last 18 months have been challenging!

With world events, pandemics and lockdowns plus what you have been through with toxic people, it’s likely that you feel like you have been turned upside down and inside out!

This is why I wanted to reach out to you with this article, about 5 ways to become narcissist proof in 2021, so that you can finish out this year in your power shedding your trauma symptoms and positioning yourself to grab your best and healthiest life with both hands.

This article today is a cross-section for different aspects of your life. The emphasis on each is how to create an authentic, safe, empowered foundation where you are free to be yourself, without abuse.

Okay let’s get started with the first of the 5 ways to become narcissist proof in 2021, with the essential starting point – you!

 

Number 1 – Mating Your Own Soul

The most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself. This is because all of your feelings, thoughts, choices and personal power, or not, come from inside of you.

I want you to think about this – anything in your life that is challenging, when you have tried to deal with it from a place of frustration, fear, pain or powerlessness has not worked out for you. Such as trying to repair an item in your house when you are annoyed and anxious!

But what happens when you calm down, get centred and solid within? Solutions and the “repair” start to flow.

I promise you that all of your life is the same.

If you are filled with trauma that has been triggered, which of course is very human in challenging times, such as the world we live in right now, as well as your personal experiences with narcissistic abuse, you may feel drained, anxious, depressed, confused and fearful about your present circumstances and future.

But it doesn’t stop there – these feelings are heightened, if you have many survival and security programs triggered about health, finances, love and every essential gamut of the human experience. My heart goes out to you if you’re right in the middle of such an emotional storm.

Personally, in these last 18 months I have had to do a ton of healing work on myself in these uncertain times! Again, I am pushed to release dense fearful energy, anchor in more Source Light and shine as brightly as I can within these dark times.

When I don’t work on my inner state, I find that I start feeling anxious, I try to get the “answers” outside of myself (which never solidly holds inside of me) and get caught up in “stinking thinking.”

This is normal – it’s human! Yet I promise you there is a better way.

Please get very clear, it is the trauma inside of you that is messing with you. It is what, when triggered, derails you, pulls you out of your power centre and your connection with Source (which gives you comfort, strength wisdom and power) and makes you feel like you are out on a limb with nothing to hang on to.

This is when you are most likely to hand power away to unhealthy sources on the outside, like abusers (trying to force them to treat you differently), taking up addictions to try to numb out the pain and fear (such as food, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol or obsessive mind-numbing activities), instead of being able to pull back, regroup, heal and get more empowered within yourself.

I say it all the time – everything that you seek can start to show up when you mate your own Soul. This includes the people, situations, love and support that can help you through these crazy times! I feel so blessed that my inner sanctum of people are completely on the same page as myself. We couldn’t be tighter and more loving and supportive with each other.

I promise you that prior to Thriver Healing, this wasn’t my life. Before I turned inwards to heal, and become my own Soul Mate, the main people in my life represented my inner disconnection. They were cell mates, not Soul Mates! I felt alone. I felt like “no-one was coming.”

Whatever unhealed traumas we have going on inside of us, is exactly what we generate unconsciously, participate with and wrestle with outside of us. The first step out of this is to realise that this is what is really going on!

In this uncertain time, where there is a lot of isolation through restrictions and lockdowns, it can be a perfect time to work on yourself. To prepare for the new world, where we can come out of all this upheaval to forge new ways and directions.

To find a way, even when there seems to be no way, or only limited ways.

Who will you be when that time comes?

Can you prepare now to be in the most empowered, solid, Source-filled position inside of you, to make the most of what is coming?

This is ever important to me right now … and it may feel really pressing for you too.

 

Number 2 ­– Open Hearted Authenticity

There is so much division in the world right now. You may be experiencing this with your nearest and dearest.

Please know that closing your heart and being defensive does not work in any relationship, and it may surprise you to know that it isn’t even helpful in narcissistic abusive relationships – where ironically you need to protect yourself the most.

In fact, narcissists love you disconnecting from your heart centre and being triggered, angry and defensive. They get energised from your fear, pain, retaliations, victimhood and trying to assert your rights whilst pointing out what they have done to you.

As far as the narcissist is concerned, any criticism toward them grants the narcissist carte blanche to unleash their nasty arsenal and punish you. This is why it is so important to understand how your negative energy energises the narcissist – like blood does to a shark – so as not hand the narcissist the bullets to shoot you with.

Open hearted authenticity means … rather than trying to fix and change someone else by lecturing or prescribing to them who they should be … instead detach.

Come home calmly, maturely and solidly to you – and ask yourself, “What is it that I want and need to have a healthy relationship?”

I really want to give you permission to own and embody this – because you are absolutely correct – there are things that every relationship requires to be healthy, especially the most important intimate relationships, where you are sharing your Soul, body, bed, finances and life with someone.

I completely and utterly believe that the following attributes – kindness, care, honesty, truthfulness, desire for teamwork and wanting to create solutions in times of stress are essential for ANY relationship to be successful.

These things are NORMAL!

For you to be narcissist proof in 2021 means aligning with the truth of this – YOU deciding that these attributes are absolute and pulling away to take care of yourself, means you are saying “no” to people who turn out to be nasty, malicious, deceitful, uncaring and incapable of humility, teamwork and care.

This also means getting very clear that times of “seeming to”, or someone “saying” they have decent relationship attributes and then slipping back into these unhealthy and abusive patterns just doesn’t make the grade!

I want to help encourage you to take back your power and up-level this year. This is the year to stand in your truth – be aligned with what is LOVE and let go of who and what isn’t.

 

Number 3 – Up-Level Your Relationships With Family And Friends

Oftentimes it can be easier to just go along with unfulfilling relationships, especially when you don’t have to live within the same four walls with this person. But do you want more than that?

You may be experiencing painful relationships with certain people. Maybe you are not seeing eye to eye right now, or you could have always had strained relationships with certain people. You may feel like the relationship is one-sided, and you are not respected or supported. Perhaps you would just love a deeper connection with this person, and it’s not forthcoming.

As a Thriver, moving forward, there is a powerful way that you can provide the opportunity to up level these relationships.

My wonderfully wise colleague and friend Katherine Woodward Thomas, granted me this information, which was truly life-changing. She explained how to invite someone up into a more evolved and conscious relationship with you.

It goes something like this, “(Person’s name) I haven’t been completely honest with you, and I would really like to be. We have had some friction and tension and I haven’t been feeling okay about it as I am sure you haven’t been either. I’d love a closer relationship with you, where we could be more honest and caring for each other, and I really want to ask you – what do you need from me to make that happen? How could we open up and be closer and more kind to each other? And I would love to share with you what I feel that I need to, if that’s okay with you?”

Then listen to what comes back.

Does this person want to meet you half way to create resolution and more love?

Or will they be defensive, run from this, blame you, or make excuses.

By approaching them you have led the way. That is the Thriver Way, to generate the relationships you wish to have honestly, openly, fearlessly and pro-actively.

If this person doesn’t want to meet you in their heart space, then you have your answer. This person presently doesn’t have the desire, or perhaps the capacity to have a more evolved conscious relationship with you.

That’s okay. Now you know.

From there you may decide to keep having Modified Contact with this person, but no longer do you have expectations or desires for something closer. You let it go. You keep being “you” in authentic truth and honesty generating more of you with people who do have the desire and capacity for authentic relationships.

If this person was truly nasty and started turning everything on to you as narcissists do, then you would be wise to go No Contact with them as much as possible. Maybe that is the end of the relationship forever.

Again, that’s okay – they just aren’t a match for your truth, Soul and life anymore.

This is the time in our lives to sort out “the chaff from the wheat” and choose and align with relationships of authenticity.

I promise you, just as it happened for me, by approaching people in this way, many will transform into the family and friendship relationships that you have always truly desired.

 

Number 4 – Up-Level Your Life In Your Profession Or Studies

I really want you to know that you are more powerful than you know – even though it may not feel like it. Right now, so many people have been pushed to the wall. Yet, please hold this truth: through grist and pressure is where pearls and diamonds are born.

I have seen so many people this year rise above incredible adversity to shine. This happens regularly with those in Thriver Recovery, moving toward their True Self path and field.

Your truth and authenticity to self are your most powerful tools to get you through these challenging times.

In fear we look for people to save us and we hand power away. In a deeply healing inner core we listen to and trust ourselves and Source. We know “the way” inside of us.

You need “your centre” now more than ever. What are your choices, decisions and values? Are you prepared to stand in these and not succumb to fear and limitations? This time we are in is one where you may be absolutely challenged. You may feel that you have no choice over certain directions presented to you.

That is not true. Your “job” is not your security. YOU are your security. You are an unlimited being with the ability to always create MORE of you – your alignments, choices, deservedness and decisions.

Then, even when there seems to be no way, a way will appear.

When you honour YOU, all of life honours you, including your financial prosperity. It doesn’t have to just come through “one” avenue, or even the avenue that you think it must be through.

Source has your back – as a result of you having your own back – always and in all ways.

Work on this within you, and you will see. You will emerge as YOUR truth regarding your service and who you are being on this planet.

 

Number 5 – Heal And Release Yourself From Trauma

So much of what I have talked to you about above is extremely difficult to just decide to do! In times of great stress, and with the persistent trauma symptoms of narcissistic abuse oftentimes we need much more different and powerful solutions to get ourselves over the line.

Today I want to let you know about a fast-track powerful way to help you release trauma, go free from the pain and torment of narcissistic people (as well as the feelings of uncertainty about every area of your future) so that you can come home to peace, wisdom and solidness within yourself.

Then from this foundation of relief, there is the space to rebuild and recreate your life anew – your True Self and Life that will authentically gratify you.

Why, when you have tried to make changes in the past it seemed so hard and you found that you slid back and felt like you were at square one again?

This happens because you were trying to change what you were doing, without changing who you are being on the inside.

When you work at the Inner Beingness, then the doing what is your truth and what will serve you becomes so much more effortless.

It becomes a natural extension of your beingness.

This is the work that I am so passionate about. It is exactly the transformation that I was (and still am) so dedicated to creating and generating within myself so that when I leave this planet, I will be able to say, “I did it. I turned within, I released myself from my fears, traumas and limitations, so that I could be the best, and the enjoy the best that my life had to offer.”

It is my greatest passion to help people move out of fear, trauma and the traumatic aspects of narcissistic abuse to live their freedom, no matter what challenges they come up against in life.

And, there are plenty right now!