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In almost every case, we know what is best for us in our lives, from the
relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat mysteriously, it
is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We find ourselves
hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained or choosing to eat
fast food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop doing yoga or
taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do. Often we have
no idea why we continue to make the less enlightened choice, but it is
important that we inquire into ourselves to find out.
When we choose that which is not best for us, the truth can be that there is
a deep seated part of us that does not want to heal. We may say it's because
we don't have the time or the energy or the resources, but the real truth is
that when we don't take care of ourselves we are falling prey to
self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously, which is why it's so
difficult to see that we are doing it. The important thing to realize is that
this very part of us that resists our healing is the part that most needs our
attention and love. Even as it appears to be working against us, if we can
simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it can become our
greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the next level
in our healing process.
When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we might even say
out loud, "I am not taking care of myself." Sometimes this is the
jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit
ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to
explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness
on the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At
other times, further effort is required. Either way, we need not fear these
parts that do not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and
bring them with us into the light.
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