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By the time we reach adulthood, many of us have had the good fortune to have
at least one best friend. If we have moved around or changed our life situation
repeatedly, we may be lucky enough to have had several. The best friend
relationship is often our earliest intimate peer relationship, and it can be
a source of great warmth and connection throughout our lives. The details of
best friendship change as we grow up and grow older, but the heart of it
remains the same. Our best friends are a warm refuge in which we feel free to
be fully ourselves, to share our deepest secrets, to rest when we are tired,
to celebrate when we are happy -- a place in which we feel utterly welcome to
give and receive that most precious of all gifts, love.
Most intimate relationships hit bumps from time to time, and one of the
hallmarks of an enduring best friendship is its ability to ride out the
turbulence and remain intact even as it faces changes. Our best friends are
those who manage to love us through all of our transitions, as we do the same
for them. We find ways to embrace and appreciate the differences that set us
apart and offer love and support no matter what. We allow each other to be
exactly as we are at a given moment, even as we allow each other to change
over time. In this way, best friends sometimes feel like family. We know we
will stick together regardless of where our individual paths lead.
We may be on the phone with our best friends every day, or we may not have
spoken for a year, yet we know that our bond will be strong and immediate
when we do connect. This bond ties us together even when we are apart and
draws us blissfully back into the warm refuge of each other’s company when
our paths bring us together again.
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