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Anger can easily become our go-to emotion; to remedy, start noticing
when and why you get angry. Sometimes when we feel anger, it is
coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these
times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger,
remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become
a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because,
for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other
emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the
impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our
habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express our other emotions
and to take action in our lives. If it’s true that anger is functioning
this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice
when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For
example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it
comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become
clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry
and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The good thing about keeping
a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it—from examining
who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when
you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable
agent of transformation. Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is
filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world.
It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective
cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it
actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth.
Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper
function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life. |
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